Wedding Etiquette: Acknowledge a Death At the Wedding?

by The Knot

Not long ago, my fiance's brother was killed while serving in Iraq. After many tears and much consideration, my fiance and I have decided to go ahead with our wedding. Understandably, many of our guests as well as ourselves and our families have been deeply affected by this tragedy. How can we celebrate our marriage and still pay homage to our fallen friend and brother?


While moving ahead with your wedding in the midst of such sadness was a difficult decision, it's also a wonderful way to celebrate life, new beginnings, and the future. Honoring the friend and family member you have so recently lost is an excellent way to bring you and your guests together. Here are just a few ideas to incorporate into your ceremony: have a moment of silence or special prayer; light special candles; add American flags to your wedding bouquets and boutonnieres; have musicians or vocalists play or sing "God Bless America." For the reception, you could distribute red, white, and blue or yellow ribbon-pins to your guests or make a contribution to a charity he would have supported instead of giving out wedding favors.

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