Wedding Family Matters: How to Tell Sister Her Boyfriend Is Not Invited to Wedding?
Q: We are having a small destination wedding, and one of my sisters thinks it's okay for her to bring her boyfriend. The whole reason for marrying away from home was to do it on our own -- but now the wedding guest list has jumped to 14! I want my sister to attend, but I don't want her to bring her boyfriend. Not only do he and I not get along, the rest of my family doesn't want him there either! How can I tell her without making her feel like she can't come?
A: This is touchy, but it's a matter of balance. Is it so important to you that your sister doesn't bring her boyfriend that you're willing to risk any fallout that barring him from the festivities might cause -- such as your sister refusing to come and the two of you not talking for years? Or would it be less painful to let her bring him and be done with it? Quite honestly, if you decide you absolutely do not want him at your wedding, there's no easy way to break the news to her. Any way you slice it, she's bound to get defensive and take you rejecting her boyfriend as a rejection of her. You need to be careful and remain aware of the risks involved. If you must break this news to her, do so delicately.