You're a Bridesmaid Afraid Losing a Friend? Here's How to Deal

There's someone else vying for your best friend's attention -- he's called a groom.
by Robin Sayers

Here you are, enjoying life, hanging out with your girls, when all of a sudden, BOOM! Out of nowhere comes this total stranger who sweeps your best friend off her feet and whisks her away to parts unknown. You can't even file a Missing Persons Report because everyone says this is the normal progression of things.... a sign you are all maturing and moving on with your lives. Don't be embarrassed -- you're not alone. Below, some advice to help you cope with this change that has upset the status quo.

You're Not Losing a Friend

Your friendship is simply moving to the next level. Most of your friend's emotional energy will be devoted to her spouse, at least in the beginning. But part of being an adult -- and a good friend -- is understanding that it's an opportunity to deepen your friendship.

Honesty Is Critical

Sure, you may feel like a loser at first, but it's better to talk about your feelings than to silently seethe. Your BFF may initially interpret your feelings of neglect as a censure of her hubby-to-be. Be tireless in explaining that it's not the WHO that matters, it's the WHAT. Chances are, your friend has felt this way at some point in the past. Maybe when you had your first serious boyfriend, or when you were working three jobs one summer, or when you ran with the band/chorus/drama crowd your junior year. These feelings are universal.

Go With the Flow

Remember, this is a change, not an end. Work with the change, not against it. Realize that your frind needs to log some hours with her fiance. Her free time has diminished dramatically. The key for you is to be available. Sure, get-togethers were once spontaneous, but now a little planning and penciling-in is in order. Your outings may take on a whole new dimension now that they're structured and less frequent. The best friend you kind of took for granted may now become a once-a-week gift to yourself.

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