Remarriage: Must I Explain His Divorce Status to My Family?
Q: My fiance is separated and has been for four years. Because of lawyer switches and financial setbacks, the divorce process is still going on. Two years ago he moved across the country to be with me. I know that he is committed to me, but well-meaning friends and family often hint that he may not be ready to part from his wife. While I know they have my best interests at heart, it really hurts me, and I always come off sounding defensive when I try to explain things to them. I am up-to-date on the divorce proceedings, but must I explain every little detail to everyone in order to quell their concerns?
A: Of course not. Your family and friends can talk and talk -- and it's good that you realize that they only say these things because they want you to be happy -- but what it comes down to is how you feel about things. It sounds like you are confident about your relationship with this man and the fact that he wants to be with you. As long as you keep feeling that way, you shouldn't feel that you have to explain yourself or the divorce process to anyone. Next time someone mentions it, just say something like, "I appreciate your concern, but everything is fine. I am fully aware of what's going on in my relationship, and this man makes me happy. I really don't want to talk about it anymore." Most important, trust your own intuition about the relationship, now and down the road. Remember that your happiness is what's most important.