Wedding Family Matters: Don't Want to Be Maid of Honor for Sister In Law's Wedding

Q:

I have a difficult question. My sister-in-law is getting married and has asked me to be in her wedding party. The problem is that three years ago I asked her to be my maid of honor; she said yes but didn't show up to the wedding because she had a difference of opinion with me. Now she wants me to be in her bridal party, and to make matters worse (for me) she wants my two-year-old daughter to be the flower girl. Should I do it, knowing she ruined my wedding, or politely say no thank you, and suffer her wrath?

A:

Wow. She has a lot of nerve. Maybe she's trying to make up for what she did by asking you to be in her wedding party? Clearly, though, you're still upset, and you should go with your gut feeling. If you can in good faith be in the wedding, go ahead, or say you'll walk down the aisle holding your daughter's hand (she's a little young to do the flower girl thing all by herself) instead of being an attendant. If you have a bad feeling about it and just can't do it, on principle, then bow out.


This might be a good opportunity to really hash things out with your sister-in-law about what happened at your wedding. You can say, as diplomatically as possible, "You know, I don't understand why you'd ask me to be in your wedding after what happened with mine," and see how she responds. Maybe you two can finally get to the bottom of it all. Good luck.


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by The Knot2 min read