Remarriage: Third Marriage Etiquette?
Q: I just got engaged, but my mother told me she won't help at all, because this will be my third marriage and she is tired of the whole "routine." How should I handle my mother and family? (I feel funny inviting my relatives to a third wedding.) Who should I invite, and who should pay for a "third time's the charm" wedding?
A: Let's tackle the easiest part of your question first. Assuming your parents paid for your first two trips down the aisle, don't ask for a penny from anyone on your side of the family. They've done their part in that department, and this time it's your responsibility. Think of it this way: They'll have less reason to resent (or be cynical about) your remarriage if they aren't digging into their pocketbooks, and -- bonus -- they'll have less right to comment about preparations if they're not paying. Keep in mind, though, that your family may have doubts about this marriage, since it's your third one, and they may voice some of them -- so bite your lip and quietly prove them wrong. Eventually, when they see that you and your husband are blissfully happy together, they'll understand that the third time really was the charm for you.As for whom to invite, by all means go ahead and invite everyone you want to have at your wedding, and have the celebration you two crave. But if you feel uncomfortable about asking your relatives to shell out cash for a third gift, write on your invites, "Your presence is your present."