Wedding Ceremony: How Can I Honor My Deceased Relative at My Wedding

Q: I happen to be getting married on my late aunt's birthday—she died about a year ago. I'd already chosen this date for my wedding before her passing, and my family agrees it's okay to keep the wedding date. Even though it's a wedding celebration, I'd really love to do something to remember my aunt. Do you have any advice about how to honor her on this day? Should we play a song in her memory? Should let it go and not say or do anything publicly, so as not to upset anyone? 

A: If remembering your aunt on her birthday is important to you, you should do it—it sounds like you might be more upset if you didn't do anything to honor her. You don't have to explain to everyone present what happened to her—this is an aunt who's passed away, and it's her birthday, and you'd like to memorialize her at your wedding. You can have a song played, you can light a candle, you can even take your bouquet to place on her grave after the wedding if you'd rather honor her privately. Just think about what would make you feel good as a remembrance of your aunt, then run it by your family.


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