Bridesmaids: Should I Have An Extra Bridesmaid to Avoid Conflict?


I only want three bridesmaids (for 150 guests). Since both my fiance and I believe family is most important in our lives (and I don't have any siblings), I plan on asking his two sisters to be in my wedding. I've decided I would prefer to ask my cousin, with whom I've just recently rekindled ties, to be the other bridesmaid (in fact, the maid of honor!) instead of my friend of 12 years (we've drifted a little the last three years). I know my friend expected to be in the wedding. Do you think it is inappropriate to suddenly decide not to have her? Should I go ahead and have four bridesmaids just to ease through the situation? I really only wanted three.


You don't say why it's so important for you to have just three bridesmaids, but if you're concerned about how your friend will feel, having four attendants is the answer. If it smooths things over, it seems like a small thing to compromise on, doesn't it? There isn't a strong case for hurting her feelings and possibly drifting further apart than you already have.

Of course, having said that, it is your choice. You need to weigh the pros and cons. Is it inappropriate not to ask her? Put yourself in her shoes and think about how you might feel if you weren't asked to be in a wedding you expected to take part in before you make your decision. Best wishes!

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