Wedding Guest List: Invite Relatives Who Won't Come to the Wedding?

Q:

We have family in other cities and we don't expect them to attend our wedding, but we think it's courteous to invite them and share our news with them. But, we don't want them to think the invitation is a request for a gift. What's the right way to handle this?

A:

Leave it up to your relatives whether to travel to your wedding. If you would like them to be there on your big day, simply invite them and provide them with information about accommodations in your city. Don't assume they won't come just because they have to travel. And don't worry about them feeling as though you just want a gift. The reality of the invitation-equals-gift idea is that some people will feel that way and some don't. You can't control that. You know you want your relatives to come to your wedding if they can. So send them an invite and let them take it from there.


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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot