Bridesmaids: Maid of Honor Planning Simultaneous Wedding

Q: My fiance and I have had a long engagement, during which my maid of honor also became engaged. This morning, she called me to ask me to be her maid of honor and to tell me they'd picked a date -- the weekend before my wedding! Though I'm annoyed, I realize I technically can't do anything about her wedding date, but I also don't think I have time to be maid of honor in a wedding that's seven days before mine. What should I do?

A: You're right that you can't do anything about the date, and even though it's bridezilla behavior on her part, you deserve a Miss Congeniality award for dealing with it so diplomatically. As for her offer, be honest. Say you're concerned that you won't be able to focus on her wedding as much as she might want and ask how much she truly needs you to contribute. You might find out that it's completely doable, especially because it sounds like she's planning a brief engagement. But if not, tell her that you appreciate the contributions she's made to your wedding and don't want to let her down by not pulling your weight at hers. Perhaps you can be a bridesmaid instead of the maid of honor, or at least, a very helpful guest. Hopefully she'll understand; after all, she's dealing with planning stress right now too.


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Do You Have to Have a Maid of Honor?

I have three women in mind to ask to be my bridesmaids, but I'm unsure about whether I want to ask any of them to be my maid of honor, or whether I even want one to begin with. Do you have to have a maid of honor?

by T He Knot