Remarriage: Must I Include My Fiance's Child in the Wedding?


My fiance has a child from his first marriage that I have no interest or desire in incorporating into my wedding. Some say that I am obligated to do so, but my future husband just wants to do what makes me happy. He comes from a large, traditional family who would be offended if I don't incorporate his son into the festivities. I don't want to because it's our wedding day, and I don't need a reminder of my fiance's past lack of contraception. What do you think?


We hate to break it to you, but this "reminder of his past lack of contraception" is your fiance's son and, like it or not, he's going to be a major part of your life! After all, your husband's son is your stepson. It's selfish to simply decide this kid has no place in your life together. Clearly you have issues about this situation, issues that need to be resolved before you get married. Who's included in your wedding is up to the two of you, but including your fiance's son will set the stage for his involvement in your lives. The family's opinion aside, don't you want this child to feel loved by his dad -- and don't you want to be a part of that too? For his son's sake, hopefully the answer is yes. Now's the time to begin what can become a very special relationship.

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