Wedding Guests: Invite Some Guests to Private Wedding Reception?

Q: We're trying to cut our wedding guest list. Would it be rude to send out separate cards inviting some guests to an "After-dinner Celebration?"

A: In a word, yes. While your heart is in the right spot by wanting to include these people who are important to you, your actions may be interpreted another way—that they're not worthy of attending dinner or being present for the other major events of the day. If you really want them to be there, you must include them in everything, otherwise, you shouldn't invite them at all. If you can't imagine getting married without these particular people, try rearranging your budget to cover additional heads: Swap out some of the exotic, tropical blooms in your centerpieces for domestic ones, or cut corners by serving a limited bar. You'll find ways to save money and celebrate with your near and dear.

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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot