Wedding Guest List: Saying No to Last-Minute Wedding Guest List Adds

Q: We sent out our wedding invitations two weeks ago, but my fiance and future mother-in-law keep calling with additional names. Right now, the wedding guest list is thirty percent my family and seventy percent his! In addition, we're already over budget -- and my future mother-in-law isn't paying (or offering to pay) for anything. I'm really frustrated. What should I do?

A: You and your fiance need to have a little talk. If the invites have gone out already, the boat has sailed and they missed it! No more invitations should be mailed. As far as solving this issue peacefully, you should try to get your fiance to understand your viewpoint (which shouldn't be hard, since you're being completely reasonable). To avoid creating bad feelings between you and your future MIL, let him talk to his mother about the guest list and other issues.

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Q&A: Invitations: Destination Wedding Etiquette?

My fiance and I are getting married in Maui and know that not all the 200 guests we would like to invite will make it. When we come back home, we are going to have a reception for everyone not able to make the trip. I've read that when getting married away and returning home to a reception, you should only send out wedding invitations to those you know can and will attend the wedding, then send out separate invitations for the reception. We both feel very strongly about sending invitations to everyone and then including (at the bottom) that a reception will be held in our honor when we return. We are afraid that if we follow etiquette, we will hurt people's feelings. Do we follow the rules or do what we feel is right?

by The Knot