Q&A: Wedding Stationery: Self-Addressed Thank-You Notes?

Q:

A while ago I went to a bridal shower where every guest was handed an envelope to address to themselves. Later the envelopes were drawn from a bag and prizes given out -- but the hosts held on to the envelopes, which were later used for the thank-you notes. I thought this seemed pretty tacky at first, but now that I'm faced with the task of writing my own, it seems pretty sharp! What do you think?

A:

While this is definitely an innovative way to get around a pretty big chore, we're going to have to side with tacky on this one. Why? A thank-you note is meant to show that you, the recipient of a gift, were flattered and honored to receive it. It's simply a gracious, thoughtful gesture (especially these days when handwritten letters -- or even mail that's not a bill or addressed to "Occupant" -- are so few and far between!). Having guests address their own envelopes shows to them that you see the thank-yous as just another item to check off your list -- which it probably does feel like when you're writing two hundred of them. But for the person that receives just that one note, it's a very different feeling -- they're happy you got and liked the gift, and they're generally feeling like you're a good person. Now does that sound so bad? We didn't think so.