Divorced Parents: New Wife Not Invited to Wedding?
Q: My stepdaughter is getting married. Her mother and I were divorced a couple of years ago after 15 years of marriage, during the child-raising years of my former wife's children. My ex-wife sent the wedding invitation addressed only to me and not to the woman who I have subsequently married. I would very much like to attend the wedding to show that I care very much about my stepdaughter, but her mother, who sent the invitation with no reference to my new wife, has obviously done so as an insult of some sort. What is the proper wedding etiquette for such an invitation? Should my wife accompany me, should I attend by myself, or should neither of us attend?
A: Sounds like there's a little bad blood here. What you should do is talk to your stepdaughter. Let her know that you were disappointed that the invitation didn't include your wife, and see what she says. Maybe she's the one who's concerned about putting her mom and your wife in the same room on her wedding day. Maybe there's more going on there than you think. See what happens. Maybe it will turn out that you will be able to bring your wife as a guest.Or maybe not. It certainly could be a snub of some kind from your ex-wife. But if no invitation is forthcoming, you have a personal decision to make. You shouldn't just show up with your wife. That's pretty rude -- it's as rude as the original snub, making it seem as though you're trying to one-up each other. You could attend on your own to support your stepdaughter. That's the "big" thing to do. Or you could refuse to go, on principle. This may really hurt your stepdaughter, or maybe she would understand. This one's up to you.