Q&A: Guest List: Can We Trim My Parents' List?


My parents want to invite the whole world to our wedding. They're willing to pay for the extra guests, but we'd rather keep things small and intimate. How can I rein them in?


Parents and their children often have very different ideas regarding the fundamentals of weddings, and disagreements are part of the planning process. Sit down with your fiancé and your parents, and, as politely as you can, explain your desire to have a smaller affair. Give a specific example as to how an increased guest list will alter the wedding's vibe (say, your dream reception site only seats 100). If your parents are paying for everything, then technically they are the hosts, which means they have more bargaining power. However, if you and your fiancé are contributing to the bill, politely tell them you appreciate the offer to cover a portion of the headcount, but that you get final say on the guest list. Regardless of who is paying, try to compromise by agreeing to put a cap on the number of extra invitees, and leave it at that.

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