Wedding Gifts: Lost Wedding Gift?
Q: Our wedding took place six months ago, and we haven't received wedding gifts from a small number of our wedding guests. I would assume that they just aren't getting us anything, but I recently found out that an order placed by one of my friends had been cancelled by the store and they hadn't been notified. I'm worried this could have happened with others, and that they're thinking I'm rude for not sending a wedding thank you. Is there a way to find out what's going on with these guests without sounding like I'm fishing for gifts?
A: That's definitely a tricky one (not to mention a hassle to deal with), but you're going about it the right way. Discretion is the name of the game here: Whatever you do, no matter how well-intentioned you might be, do not call up any of your guests informing them about the errant gift issue! Though it may be the store's fault, at the end of the day, it's true that no matter how compulsory they may seem, some guests simply may not get you a wedding gift. Assuming you know who the likely parties are (one of the many reasons a log of gifts received can come in handy), you can let other friends and family members who might be in contact with those guests know about the situation. Then it is up to them to decide whether they think it is a good idea to bring it up with those people (which should definitely be done as a "Did you hear what happened when so-and-so tried to buy them a gift?" rather than a "So is that where your 'gift' is?" type of conversation). It's a nuisance, but it's the best way to go about it -- you don't want to look greedy, nor do you want your guests to feel they're being accused of stinginess. Either way, there's not much you can do except to set the plan into motion and hope for the best.