CARTER'S PERSPECTIVE:


From the first time I saw Abbey, I knew that I was going to marry her. How was I going to do that? I had no idea. What I did know was that there was something special about Abbey, and I just knew I needed to get to know her more. From my previous job, Walmart, I had known Tim, and we would see each other daily. I remembered him from church, so that kinda kept us familiar with each other. I would take groceries out to cars, and he would be sitting in the parking lot at Walmart just waiting for someone to walk through the doors with stolen stuff so he could arrest them. I always looked forward to watching that happen, so I tended to volunteer myself to take out the groceries when he was there. There was always a head nod, wave, or even a “hi, how are you?” that would be exchanged. He was always friendly and nice about me stalking him. I think he was maybe very intrigued by a grown man wearing a gold Walmart cape and was secretly just admiring my questionable demeanor, but nonetheless he was nice about it. All that to say, that technically Tim was my first “wingman” to talk to Abbey.


To be honest, even after the fact that I knew her Dad, that didn’t mean I knew Abbey. So, doing what I would do to try to start off being nice and welcoming, I would try to say “hi” to her whenever I got the chance. Our families would usually go to the same service, 9:30, and my family normally would sit in a row in front of hers. After service some days, I would get nervous that she was right around me and not say anything, but other days I would feel confident enough to say “hi” or “I like your shirt.” Super romantic and flirty. I guess it worked. Almost every interaction that I had with Abbey, I used one of my siblings, parents, or Emily, as a decoy. That way if it became too much, I could just let them finish the conversation. The conversation seemed easy enough sometimes because I knew of her or things about her that I could ask. That was pretty much the extent of our little exchanges.


After 4 weeks – yes I was keeping track – of Abbey ignoring me or racing out of church for no reason, there was a perfect opportunity that I wasn’t going to miss. It was in between our church services. I was with my family, talking to my mom about her, and she finally just said that I should go up to her and talk and see where it goes. She did mention the fact that she had just gone to a Luke Combs concert with Anna, and that he’s her favorite. She did add that there was a funny part about the story and that I should ask her about that to keep her talking to me. That’s exactly what I did.


To make it even more interesting, at the same time that I was consistently trying to talk or get her attention while at church, she was also attending a small group with her mom, Amber, that was hosted by my mom at my house. The Bible Study was within a span of about 8-10 weeks on Wednesdays. Now, at this time I was taking some online classes, and that meant that I would be home on Wednesdays. I would be doing my school in our office which is right inside the front of our house. For the first few weeks, I decided that I would play it cool and just say “hi” to the people that show up at my house as they came in. I was really just waiting for Abbey to walk through that door. I would typically be sitting in the office with my dad who would either just sit in there to be away from Mom’s group or to be working on his computer. I would wait for every Wednesday morning to roll around, and then I would face my fears and ask my dad some important questions. Those questions included, “how do I start a conversation with Abbey?”, “what do we talk about?”, “does my outfit look fine?”, or even “can you go be a lookout to see if she’s there?”. The worst part about it is that she and her mom sometimes drove up together and sometimes separately. That was where my first issue appeared: when was I going to have a time to talk to her while not in front of a group of grown women that all know her, including her mom? The next issue was how to start a conversation with Abbey, in front of her mom, about things I didn’t know. As it normally goes, I made things up to talk about and had to cringe through the whole conversation for weeks. As awkward as it may sound, I decided that when I heard the small group start to wrap up, I would go out into my living room in hopes of catching her before she left. I did that in a variety of ways, like asking my mom a question and then making eye contact with her or going into the kitchen and getting a cup of water or snack when I didn’t need one.


As weeks went on, I had built up some courage to convince myself that I needed to talk to Abbey. With the motivation from my parents and siblings, I felt like it was time. Slowly, without her even noticing, I would make subtle moves such as going up to her after church and complimenting her on her singing or asking about her week. I didn't do this for many people, so this was a big step; but she was oblivious to it. On one of the Sundays in between services, I had committed to asking her for her number. It was the hardest yet easiest thing I had done at that time. She was very sweet about it, but I didn’t know what to say after. We were talking, and I just simply said we should hangout sometime and asked for her number. As soon as I asked, I felt like I was under so much pressure that I had to get out of there. Conveniently enough, her dad, Tim, was standing right there, and I thought he heard what I had done. He really was just being nice and said “hi” as he walked next to me. I felt so accomplished and excited that I hurried out of church, so my moment wouldn’t get ruined.


I had so many thoughts racing through my mind from then on. I knew that I didn't want to waste any time texting her, but my mom figured that I should wait a little bit so that it didn’t seem rushed or too much for her. I was walking in the retirement neighborhood behind my house as I debated and went back and forth with her as to when I should reach out. Even though I didn’t want to, I listened and didn’t text Abbey right away. I had put a text in my notes and told myself I would send it after a day or so. As crazy as it sounds, it was no more than 20 minutes after I had decided what I was going to do that she texted me. I was so thrown off. I didn’t know what to do. I called my Mom back and asked how I should respond to her because I didn’t want to mess it up. As the days and our texts went on, the rest became history.


A few days had gone by of texting and getting to know each other, and I felt that it was about time that I spent some time with her and asked her on a date. I decided that we would go to the Englewood Metropark for a walk and then get Red Robin for dinner. It was such a relaxing time, and it was easy to enjoy our time together. We talked, laughed, and shared some silly stories. I felt like it had gone a lot better than I expected. Throughout the whole time I was nervous and curious to see how it would all pan out, but it was easy and fun. On our walk we ran into Anna, Andy, and Carter, who just so conveniently were at the park “painting.” I met them, we talked real quick, and then went about our time. We were able to be open and real in our conversation, which I think we both liked. Our conversation led into us going to Red Robin, where we continued with just getting to know each other. We had spent around 9 hours together, which surprised everyone. The thing that stood out to me about our time at dinner is that I was still nervous, but I was amazed by how beautiful she was, and it was so interesting that I didn’t even finish my food. That was the first time I had ever done that in my whole life. I didn’t finish my food. I would say that it was worth it. From that day, we have spent a majority of our days together, and I still have those early type butterflies when I’m with her. I continue to fall more in love with the person that I was so scared to talk to, even though she had no idea.


We just connected in a way I didn’t know was possible. We just clicked. We understood each other. We understood our strengths and weaknesses, and quickly cared for the things that the other person loved so dearly. I knew very early that I loved her, and I told her right away. I know things aren’t “perfect,” but my time spent with Abbey has been as close to perfect as it can get. Being able to add someone like that to your corner, with your family and people that love you and that you love, has been a blessing. It just feels right. We just get each other and push each other to be the best that we can be. That is what I have asked God for. He blessed me beyond what I was asking. She makes me a better person.


It may seem cliché or funny to say because it is mentioned so often, but God’s timing is always perfect. I have seen that first hand in many ways throughout my life, and Abbey coming into my life is yet another example of that. God is good. It’s just so beautiful the way He has helped us get to this point. I am beyond excited to see what He has for our future.

ABBEY'S PERSPECTIVE:



I’ll be honest in saying I don’t exactly remember the first time Carter introduced himself to me at church. His family always sat in front of my family at church. To be honest, our families knew of each other because our dads had been youth group leaders together. As I look back, I’m not even sure there really was a “formal” introduction, it was more of just a “hey, how are you” type of thing. Usually after the service was over, he and one of his friends or siblings, would turn around and say “hi” or try and start a conversation.


I do remember the first actual conversation Carter and I had at church. It was the day after Anna and I had gone to see Luke Combs in concert together at the Lucas Oil Stadium in Indianapolis, IN. The concert? AMAZING. Finding my car afterwards? TERRIBLE. ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE. Not that I want to admit this, but I, being the smart older sister who never forgets anything, apparently never pinned the location of where we parked. Now, if you know anything about parking in downtown Indianapolis, you know that there are no less than 36 different parking garages within a 15-minute walk to the stadium. All of which look the same. Especially when it’s dark outside. Anna and I walked around for about an hour and forty-five minutes after the concert. Going up to the fifth floor. Walking around. Not finding my car. Walking to another garage. And another. And another. Doing the same exact thing. BUT in the end, after a few mental breakdowns, and lots of minutes on the phone with our mom and Toyota, we found the car! What a story to share with the guy from church that apparently likes you, huh? I’m sure I sounded crazy, irresponsible, and maybe even a little delusional, but he’s still around so maybe that’s just what Carter likes ;)


Now, Carter will tell you that my family always “ran out of church”. I, however, will tell you that after the service was over, we would leave… Like any other family would after a church service… To Carter, this seemed like I was running away from him. He doesn't believe me, but he is a people person at heart. Carter would turn around and try to talk with me just about every Sunday. For MONTHS. I genuinely thought he was just trying to be nice, but apparently that was the first clue I’d missed that he liked me.


At this point, after we’d talked about me losing my car, I was also going to a Bible study with my mom which just so happened to be hosted by Carter’s mom, Michele, at their house. Often after the Bible study was over, Carter would conveniently appear and be a fly-on-the-wall in the kitchen… And sometimes have the guts to say “hi” to me.
Soon after that, I started serving on the worship team. This meant I had to stay for both services and couldn’t “run away” from him. It was a Sunday in April, right before my birthday, that he finally took a chance and asked for my number in between services.


That week we had our first date. We took a walk at the Englewood Metro Park, where Anna, Andy, and Anna’s Carter were all conveniently sitting to “paint”. We walked forever and afterwards ate at Red Robin. We were both very honest and upfront about our goals and what we were looking for in a partner. We just clicked. If you asked our families, they would probably say that a day when Abbey and Carter didn’t hang out was a bad day. They’d probably say Carter and I were moody because we didn’t get to see the person we loved that day. And that still holds true.


Honestly, the rest is history. Our conversations were never and have never been boring or made me wonder how to keep the conversation going. I’m not saying everything has been rainbows and butterflies. No one and no relationship will ever be perfect. It’s how you choose to respond to those ups and downs and who you have in your corner that really matters. There have been many ups and downs along the way. But I will say being with Carter has felt as normal as having Amber and Tim as my parents, or having Scott as our pastor, or knowing the grass turns a pretty green in the spring. It just feels right. He knows how to keep me sane, how to make me laugh when I’m sad, how to speak reason into my mind when something is bothering me. He really does know me better than I know myself. I strive to be a better person because of him.


It’s kind of mind-blowing to think about all the times Carter and I were probably in the same building, attending the same youth group, doing the same activities, attending the same camps and retreats, even going to the same undergraduate school, yet never truly met until we were both adults. Adults who were attending a new church with their families. What are the odds? From my perspective, you can see God’s fingerprint throughout our whole story. What can I say? His timing is perfect, and His plans are always so much better for you than you could ever expect or imagine!