March of 2024. We were cozied up on a couch in my frigid basement apartment by the sea. The wind was howling outside and I was laying on the couch with my head in your lap. We were trying to watch a high school basketball game on your phone and for no particular reason at all I felt my feelings for you transform into unending warmth all of a sudden. I remember feeling suddenly scared that I could ever lose you and realized then that it was paramount that we stay together forever.

We have actually known each other since we were 12, which is crazy. Well, we knew of each other in middle school, but didn't become friends until a few years later. Weirdly enough, we dated each other's best friends in high school. One much longer than the other, but that's what put us in the same circle. We played the same instrument in middle school together, which means we had lessons together, but neither of us remembers the other. Liz did dance classes outside of school, and so did Ian's high school girlfriend, so he actually attended a majority of her recitals. Ian was at Liz's 16th birthday party at Fun Town Splash Town and there was a photo taken there that lived on Ian's home refrigerator for years. Liz: I actually have a really distinct memory of Ian and I in 10th grade English class. We had to do this little Shakespeare play for Mrs. Babin and I was so shy at the time; I did not want to do it at all. I was assigned to be Ian's partner, so he came over to my house after school one day to act out a scene from a play that we then had to videotape. I was mortified about the assignment for some reason, I guess just knowing that we had to show the video to our class. Ian could tell I was embarrassed, so he took one of my sisters dresses and dressed up as a woman so I wouldn't have to be on tape. He did all of my parts for me. I remember him constantly doing anything and everything he could to make me laugh and make me feel more comfortable. We became fairly close after that. After high school we went on to attend the same university and had the same major. We didn't have a single class together. For years we would see each other randomly all over the state or on campus. In Portland at a restaurant and in Bangor at a teachers testing location, once at the grocery store. I guess maybe it was supposed to happen that we would come back together.

Okay, so I actually have a tiny list; please don't be offended. The first thing is turning the basement light off when you come upstairs - I'm fairly certain that Versant is making 50% of their profit from just our household alone. Other than that I would say hanging up your wet towel and putting your clothes away after I fold them. As far as our relationship goes, you do everything in your power to make me happy. You apologize and put me first constantly. You are my biggest supporter and I am so grateful for that. Honestly, I just want you to turn the basement light off and put your clothes away.

This bothers me so much more than it should, but when we're in the middle of watching something you get up to go to the bathroom, fold clothes, get water, or whatever without pausing the show or movie. You even do this with the things that you insist on watching. I'm roiling inside when this happens -- flabbergasted as to why you're expressing zero concern about the crucial forty seconds of vital narrative that you've missed while showing no sign that you ever want back. I cannot understand this.

Liz: Okay, so I had a dream one random night that Ian and I were back in high school, laying in the hallway outside of our health class. We were singing Mr. Brightside while making some kind of "drugs are bad" poster. This definitely did really happen, so it was more of a flashback. I remember because he was wearing jeans and those converse sneakers that said Black Plague on the side. Anyway, I wrote to him on Facebook messenger the spring I moved back from Arkansas and told him about it. We've been friends since middle school, so it wasn't that weird to do. But we also hadn't spoken for like 10 years, so maybe it was. We talked for almost that entire day, and then that was it. We didn't talk again for months. Ian: I let that interaction sink in for a few months, working through summer, then starting a new school year. I thought more about Liz in October, so I reached out since the door had already sort of been opened. I wanted to know how her school year was going, almost like a teacher pen pal. We talked almost every day, until around parent teacher conferences it hit me that I had romantic feelings for her. I had pretty much made my mind up around that time that I would really like to pursue a relationship with her. Liz: By Christmas we were talking nonstop. Christmas Eve night he wrote to me and asked if I wanted to go out with him to get a "cup of hot liquid." I still laugh about that, because who says that? Ian. Needless to say, we got some hot liquid. So, all of that to say, Ian made the first move.

I think just continuing to contribute to our relationship and our household is what is going to make me happy. You already do such a good job of prioritizing our relationship in every way, but when you go above and beyond by helping with house chores without me asking, or taking me to do something that you know I would like to do or when you buy me flowers when I've had a bad day, that is when I am happiest. Just little things that you do each day to show me that you're in this for the long haul and are willing to contribute to this relationship.

Liz: I want a duck, 100%. I have always wanted one. I asked for one for my birthday almost every year as a kid and my parents always said no. An animal that I do not want is definitely a hippo. They eat people and run on the bottom of bodies of water. No thank you. Did you know that's actually how the first Pharaoh in Egypt died? Absolutely not. Ian: I've wanted some kind of a huge parrot ever since I was a child. This hasn't changed. If it outlives me even better. Set it loose in the Amazon. I want this parrot to continue echoing my sagely statements and spreading the word to other parrots. Scorpions don't deserve a place on this planet. They're disgusting, hurtful, snappy, sassy, crabby robots and I feel bad for the people that live in areas habitable for scorpions. I've had a recurring nightmare of losing track of a scorpion in some confined place since I was a teenager. In short, I would not want a scorpion as a pet.