Partnerships come in many forms. The definition is rooted in the premise that all parties play an integral role in the advancement of a mutual entity for a greater purpose. It is the same in relationships.
When two people with varied successes bond (become life partners so to speak), they must not confine the power of the union to personal fulfillment. Therein lies an opportunity to combine talent, knowledge and experience to further respective development as well as serve a common good. The clichéd belief there must be a “50/50” apportionment of God-given gifts between man and woman has evolved. As a couple, commit to giving 100% percent of yourselves (empowered by the support you provide one another) to benefit the whole; to contribute to a society that helps you achieve.
The Author (Carlos Wallace) and the Anchor (Liz Faublas) agree they are much more effective and empowering together. By combining collective experience in media, production, writing/authorship, public speaking, and philanthropy, they understand the decision to pool abilities in order to enlighten, lead and support their communities comes with great responsibility. Each humbly admits they cannot do it without the support of others.
We understand that when it comes to building strong, meaningful relationships rooted in faith and principles, there must be accountability, awareness, progress, service, commitment and above all, strength in numbers. It takes more than an author and an anchor to change the world. We are so grateful for the friends and family and loved ones who accompany us on our journey.
Not many people know the story of how Los and I met. At this point, we've been together so long, the memories have taken on at least four different iterations and one is as funny and dramatic as the next! Los definitely peppers it up alot more than I do because...well... he's Los!
The long story short version: I was a brand new stand-up comic. Literally maybe one year in. I barely knew what a tight ten was and was still developing my content and trying to find my voice. I had met Comedian Wil Sylvince while I was performing at New York Comedy Club and we became Facebook friends. It was on the site that I saw he was part of the "Top Dogs of Comedy" tour which was being managed by none other then Carlos Wallace. So I did what any green, eager, and not knowing no better new comic does; I messaged this Manager, told him I knew Wil and that I was just getting starting and would love his input on my set. Not long after I sent the email, he replied, sure, I'd be happy to. My stomach dropped. I could not mess this up. I mean, you put it out there with someone like this, and take a chance that he may not like your work and could let others know, he did not like your work! LOL But, I had comitted. I sent him a clip. He got back to me right away. And we talked for about 1/2 hour about the pros and cons. There is a basketball reference here that made speaking during this particular half hour even more fascinating, but you will have to ask Los about it. Apparently I am not a loyal New York sports fan! *eye roll*
After learning how much I loved Top Dogs, he invited me to the show. Well, chile, I was over the moon!
That evening, we were running late. Not my fault by the way! And we arrived at Carolines, the venue was filled to capacity. I was livid. And so disappointed. Los asked me to stay for the second show, but my date was not up to staying. *sucks teeth*.
I get a text from Los about 2 a.m. "Hey, what did you think?"
I was mortified and didn't reply. *Covers eyes with hands*
He texted "Please don't tell me you left??*
I hid under the covers.
The next day I finally got the courage to explain what happened. He was very understanding. *wipes forehead, sighs with relief*.
He invited me back to the Saturday show...as his guest, backstage!! Lawd I was over-the-moon. I was smelling good and had the good jeans on!
Oh it was a night to remember. I met Capone, Rob Stapleton, Corey Holcomb that night! Remember I am an upcoming comic. I almost passed out. We sat by the DJ and I had a bird's eye view of the stage. It was one of the most remarkable shows I had ever seen!
Oh it gets better...
Carlos invited me to have breakfast with him and Capone that Monday! Yes, Shut. The. Front. Door!! We talked for hours about comedy and writing, producing (I worked at Bloomberg TV at the time). And Los and I stayed in touch.
The rest, as they say is history!
It did not take long for me to learn, I was in a relationship with a Texas man! The reality hit me right around football season 2009. Now, keep in mind, we had just started dating so the phone calls, emails and texts were flowing. I was getting real used to 4 hour conversations, endless texts, laughs and stories. And then, the Cowboys came along and Los's attention switched up quick! I was baffled! LOL I mean, what happened? Who is this new person?
Me: "Babe, I tried to call you yesterday."
Los: "Cowboys were playing."
Me: "Yeah but we always talk on weekends." Los: "Yeah except when the Cowboys play".
And I thought, "Hunh, I never had to think about this. We met in June, began dating in August, and this was our first official football season". Now, I'm a Giants fan, but I was never *that* into football. Los, was *that* into football.
Los: "Baby, here's the thing...There's 52 Sundays in a year and all I'm asking for is 16. So that leaves you 36 Sundays. If my team advances through playoffs and the superbowl, that still leaves you 32 Sundays. You still come out ahead. Yet you are complaining about 20 days. You too busy thinking about the days I dont want to talk only because it's not what *you* want. But you are not looking at all the other days that are ours.
Me: *Still have an attitude mind you*. Literally mumbling under my breath "Oh, so now I ain't as important as football. Hmph, well watch your funky old football then. See if I am still here when you call. Hmph."
But after thinking about it, and taking his reasoning into account, I had to admit, he was kinda right. If the shoe was on the other foot, and I wanted *my* me time, I would want him to understand. Funny thing is, I started watching more games and getting into the rivalry between the Giants and the Cowboys and instead of fighting the season, it was more fun to be part of it with him. Now we just go at it when the Giants play the Cowboys! In Texas, it's God and football in that order; and even the Pastor will let you out of church early on Sunday if he want to watch the game! LOL
That was one of our first big disagreements. In the end, we both won. It brought us closer.
ANYONE who knows Los is aware that his “office”, preferred meeting place, the spot where he can talk business or football (or both) for hours and hours and hours… is Hooters. For those that don’t know him that well, yes, that took getting used to! LOL I had a completely different idea of what Hooters was. I don’t have to go into detail about my initial perception. You can probably guess. However, love the man, love everything about him; or at the very least understand that is what he likes and respect it. So, when I was in Houston, we spent a lot of time at his local Hooters, and I really liked it. I liked the food, the atmosphere, the energy and I LOVED that our server would sit with us and talk and joke. They knew Los (and me eventually) so well, that we did not even have to order our drinks; they just sat us, chatted a bit, disappeared for about 3 minutes and reappeared with his Bud Light and my Corona, without even asking what we were having.
Sooooo, when Los would come to New York, we would head to (you guessed it) a local Hooters. Fresh Meadows is our spot in Queens. Now, the big difference between Los and I is, I adopt the young girls. No, really… they become my babies. These young women are often in school or pursuing another career while working full time. They come from good families or sometimes “not-so-good” backgrounds but they are still doing the right thing. Many are just the sweetest and the more we go, the more it becomes a “Hey baby girl” deal, instead of a customer/waitress thing. I love it. But Los has decided, since I took over “his spot” in Queens he needs to find another Hooters when he moves to New York! Why? Because when he walks in, the girls are still happy to see him, but they always ask, “Where’s Liz??” Los rolls his eyes every time (But I think he secretly thinks its dope). He is like a father figure, and I am Mama Liz. We did not set out to be either, it is just who we are. However, I don’t know WHY he thinks finding another Hooters is the answer. I mean, in relationships isn’t the old adage, “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine?” We are gonna share EVERYTHING until death do us part! LOL EVERYTHING (insert evil laugh here).
I can tell you now, to anyone reading this, Los is not amused! And we will continue to go to Fresh Meadows Hooters! So, yah!
I don’t know if opposites attract, but we have learned to respect each other’s differences.
He is an early riser, I like to sleep in.
He likes to talk in the morning (No, literally have entire conversations), and I just want quiet.
He likes the curtains and shades and windows WIDE OPEN. I walk around shutting everything.
I walk out of rooms and leave the lights on. Los walks behind me shutting ‘em off.
I am a bleeding heart. He is a practical, no nonsense realist.
We could go on and on and on listing everything we don’t have in common, but for what? We decided a long time ago that the things we do agree on are more important and that we will go A LOT FARTHER in life if we use the energy to be productive in the way we talk and treat each other.
When we do talk, it is always with meaning. And if you think Carlos is always super serious, ummmm, no. I may be the comic but this dude is the one with the jokes for real. I have actually tee tee’d from laughing at some story or comment he’s made. Yes, I wrote tee tee’d because we have young nieces and nephews that may read this! But grown folks know what I mean! LOL
Our morning schedules are different, but we work around it because when we get in sync, amazing things happen. If he is up before me, he will use ear-buds on his phone or closed caption/wifi headphones for television so he does not disturb me. If I get in bed and notice the kitchen light is still on, I get my butt up and go turn it off. Sometimes. Some nights I am really just too lazy. Why lie!
LOL It’s not that we don’t disagree, but we are realistic. It’s just less stressful to be in accord. It’s not as complicated as we tend to make it sometimes. They say in relationships you have to pick your battles, but that suggests couples are sometimes at war! That's so dramatic (and violent)! The only thing we choose, even during the tough times, is to treat one another with respect; to be understanding and to never forget the reasons we love each other.
I have never had a big wedding. When my first husband and I were married, it was a small, intimate ceremony. Don’t get me wrong, it was a nice, personalized affair. My ex-husband was good friends with a judge and he performed the ceremony in his private chambers. It was actually quite sweet. But not the dream wedding I wanted since I was a young girl.
As I got older, I had kind of given up on having some lavish, over the top walk down the aisle. I understood that it was more prudent to spend money on practical things. You know, remodeling the kitchen versus an extravagant soiree! (The things you think about as an adult with responsibilities LOL). Not to mention, since I was dating the most pragmatic man in the universe, I came to terms with the fact that a big wedding was probably not going to happen. However, in the back of my mind, I still dreamed of walking down the aisle, with a beautiful dress, on the beach, with the sun setting in the background, as I married my best friend.
So, imagine my surprise and pure joy when Los not only suggested we marry in Aruba (he knew how much I loved the island), but every single time it seemed the planning was getting too stressful, or I might not get something I wanted, he intervened to make sure I would get my dream wedding. Whether he made a phone call, told me not to worry about the cost of a prettier cake or nicer venue, Los has been so supportive. What’s funny is, I am the one who is being very careful about the details and trying not to go overboard with unnecessary expenses! Oh how the tables have turned! It’s not that he doesn’t want a lovely ceremony. I just know 90% of it is for me.
Therefore, on days I may want to strangle him for one thing or another, I think about the dream wedding he will stop at nothing to give me. So I let him live another day LOL. I am also reminded that each of us, at some point, will need to sacrifice and go the extra mile to make the other happy. And it’s just really dope to know I have someone like that holding me down forever. I can only do my best to make sure I do the same for him. I still want the big cake though. #Greedyforlife