Picture it: Cape Cod, September 2023. The sky is serene, there’s a gentle breeze, and sunshine is bouncing off rippling ocean waves. In short, it’s a perfect late summer day.

Tim and Rob were spending the week at Rob’s parents’ house in Hyannis, one of their favorite places to relax and unwind. Tim had planned an outing to Nauset Lighthouse on the one day it was open for tours that week. What Tim hadn’t planned for was the number of other people who would be on the tour and that visitors could no longer go outside at the top of the lighthouse. He also didn’t realize how hard it would be to get Rob to focus and sit still. All of this mattered because Tim had other plans as well.

You see, when Rob and Tim first started dating, federal recognition of same-sex relationships was a distant dream. It was still the era of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, and being openly gay still had a stigma attached to it across the majority of the country. Marriage really wasn’t on the table, and the boys were having such a good time that it didn’t seem to fit them. However, as same-sex marriage started being recognized state-by-state, culminating in national legalization with the 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges Supreme Court ruling, and as friends were getting married, Rob and Tim began having the occasional discussion of whether they should consider it.

Both felt that marriage seemed like a lot of trouble and expense and wasn’t really necessary. Besides, Tim never felt especially comfortable being the center or attention. Tim was also noticeably skeptical about whether Peter Pan was going to grow up and become “husband material.” Knowing this, Rob always said Tim would have to be the one to let him know if he ever did want to get married, but Rob wasn’t expecting it. Ultimately, hunkering down during the Covid lockdowns of 2020/2021 deepened their domestic bliss and reassured them of their long, happy future together. Soon afterward, in March of 2023, Rob was hospitalized for heart issues, and questions like what kinds of legal protections they had in place and how much longer they would have together got them both thinking.

So on that Wednesday in September 2023 at Nauset Lighthouse, with events not going quite the way he planned, Tim improvised. He sat on a bench with the lighthouse behind him, forcibly pulling Rob over to sit with him when Rob didn’t respond to multiple requests to have a seat and take in the view. Tim then began a heartfelt speech about how happy he was that they had met, how much he enjoyed their life together, and how much he loved Rob. At this point, Rob finally figured it out and asked, “Wait, wait, is this a proposal?” To which Tim said, “Let me finish,” eventually ending with the classic “Will you marry me?” (complete with engagement ring). Rob barely remembers what Tim said because he was so surprised and overcome with emotion.

Not one to be left out, Rob took off one of his fashion rings, handed it to Tim, and said, “I double propose!” Rob informed Tim that he had also prepared a proposal of his own. He had recreated the CD travel case from their first meeting on the plane, but this time he added a Wedding Proposal “Mix Tape” (CD), which he played for the rest of their travels that day. Rob had also fashioned a ring (uncomfortable, though it was) from a guitar string in reference to Carly Rae Jepsen’s song “Guitar String/Wedding Ring” and their mutual love of music.

Later that evening, Tim surprised Rob again with an engagement dinner at The Pheasant, their favorite farm-to-table restaurant on the Cape. The entire staff knew about the engagement and rolled out the royal treatment. Tim even splurged on the best bottle of champagne either he or Rob had ever had. (Good thing Rob said yes; that could have been a very awkward dinner, otherwise.)

This October wedding marks the 25th anniversary of when Rob and Tim first met. It is an anniversary party, a legal protection ceremony, and a political statement. But most of all, it is a celebration of their love and continued commitment to each other for the rest of their lives.

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