The first time I met Victoria was through our graduate program at Northwestern University. It was orientation for the program and because it was June 2021 it was via Zoom. The entire cohort hopped on this zoom call for the “first day” of school. The gallery of all my new classmates and professors was exciting. As I looked around at everyone with wonder I couldn’t help but notice this one really cute girl named Victoria Schatzer from South Carolina who had the sweetest southern accent. Now me being a Minnesotan had only ever heard an accent like that in the movies. But at this point in time I knew nothing about her or anyone, and had no idea that she would become the woman I’d get to marry.

*For reference, the way Northwestern’s Prosthetics & Orthotics program works is the first two quarters (6 months) is 100% online, the next four quarters (12 months) is in-person in downtown Chicago, and the final quarter (3 months) returns to being 100% online.*

Fast forward two weeks into the program… One of our 5 classes is anatomy.. The first project is announced, and our professor announces who everyone’s paired up with.. “Ross Barker and Victoria Schatzer... Everyone has one week to turn in your project.”

Play it cool Ross..

The stars are clearly aligning.

I mean come on..

I get to study ANATOMY with her?!

I promise I’m not making this up..

So naturally I message Victoria asking for her phone number. She gives it to me and later that day I text her, “Want to study anatomy this week?” To which Victoria responds with “Hell yeah brother.”

I chuckle and nod my head.

Lmao there’s no way she just texted me that..

First day of in-person classes at Northwestern:

It’s January 2022 on a frigid Chicago day. The first day of in-person classes. I’m so pumped, and want to make a good first impression so I dress up a bit. Finally get to meet everyone in person, receive our tools, get assigned lockers, get our tour of the facility and see where all of our classes will be.

*Shoutout to my brother, Lee, for this advice to me, “Remember to talk to the girls. All you gotta do is just go say hi.”*

I’m enthusiastically meeting everyone, being friendly, sharing laughs, and just doing my best to enjoy the moment. But there’s just not enough time to meet everyone before the professors start talking and everything begins to happen.

I look over and see Victoria.

There she is!

You guys have already studied a bunch together via zoom.

Just go say hi…

Finally we get our locker combinations, and we can pick any locker we want. First come, first served. So I finally go up to Victoria. “Hey what’s up Victoria? It’s nice to finally meet you in person! I’m Ross Barker.” Victoria turns and smiles,“Hi Ross! It’s nice to officially meet you too!” After conversation organically grows for a couple minutes, we decide to choose the two lockers that are directly above and beneath each other.

Well played Ross… That was smooth

I had already been living in Chicago for 4 years up to this point so I had all my friends established through ultimate frisbee and social life. One weekend night I decide to host a get together at my place with my friends, and I invite Victoria and a few other classmates that I had quickly connected with. Food and adult beverages were had, and our whole group decides to go attend some live music in Chicago at this bar called aliveOne. We all stay up late having a great time dancing and cracking jokes with each other. The night ends around 2:00am with a pit stop at The Weiner’s Circle. The best Chicago hot dog in the city.. Little did Victoria and her roommates know, The Weiner’s Circle is also known for being intentional assholes to the customers.. In comes Victoria’s Canadian roommate with the audacity to order a hot dog with only ketchup.

She did what now?

Doesn’t she know you NEVER ask for ketchup on a hot dog in Chicago?

The cashier looks at Victoria’s roommate.. This 2 second silent stare down feels like an eternity.. I start to grin.. all of a sudden the cashier unloads on Victoria’s roommate telling her to not ever come up in here asking for ketchup on a hot dog!!

Ohhh my god, this is the funniest thing ever.

Victoria and her roommates don’t know these employees are intentionally pricks.

But like also… It’s Chicago..

You never order ketchup on a hotdog..

While Victoria’s roommate is being berated by The Weiner’s Circle, me and my friends are dying laughing talking smack back to the other cashier, engaging in witty playful banter. I order a Chicago dog with everything on it.. I peek over, and Victoria is secretly putting ketchup on her hot dog while her roommate is being yelled at by the cashier. I can’t help but smirk, laugh, and choose not to say a thing…

Right after The Weiner’s Circle, my friends come back to my place to play some Super Smash Bros to end the night. While we’re doing so, two of my friends, Nick & Brad, both look at me and go “So are you and Victoria a thing? She’s definitely into you!” I respond with, “Right? Isn’t she?? We’re not a thing, but I feel that too.”

A week later and we are approaching February. I’m single. I have no valentine.. and I have quite the crush on Victoria.

Alright Ross… Think..

I want to ask Victoria, but I don’t want to do it over text/phone call.

I need to ask her in person.

I’ve been over to Victoria’s apartment complex before..

She has a piano there which I’ve already played on!

Ooo that’s the one..

But wait… It’s already 8:00pm on a Tuesday

I’m sitting on my couch in my living room having just finished studying and all my homework assignments for the night. I decide to text Victoria, “Hey Vic, I’m downtown dropping some swag off to my Union teammates…” *For reference, the Chicago Union was the professional ultimate frisbee team I was the captain for and was constantly doing stuff with in my free time.* “...I was wondering if I could stop by to give you a gift and maybe practice some piano?” Victoria responds, “Yeah, of course. You can come play piano any time you want!”

Nice! Alright, time to drive over to Victoria’s house.

Oh shoot… I don’t actually have any gifts, I gotta grab something!

I decided to grab a chili starter mix that I had.. Haha whatever, it's not about the chili, the real reason is to go ask her out. So I drive over to Victoria’s apartment complex, and find her and her roommates studying in the main lobby of the complex. I arrive and say, “Hey I got this good chili starter mix and thought you might like some Victoria. Thanks for letting me come over and practice some piano.”

Oh god. Both her roommates are there too. I can’t just ask her out in front of them..

Alright, go over and play some piano.. You said that’s what you wanted to do

I go over and start practicing a very difficult piano song I had been working on called Ancora by Ludovico Einaudi. To play this song all the way through takes about 12-15 minutes. I decide to just focus on a section I was struggling with at the time. After playing for about 15-20 minutes, Victoria’s roommates leave and it’s just her.. Here’s my chance! I clean up my sheet music and put it in my backpack. I walk over and tell her, “Thanks for letting me come over and practice a little bit! I always love playing on grand pianos…” I pause for a couple seconds as she politely responds, “of course, I love listening to you play so it’s a win-win situation.” I stand there for a few seconds in silence.. “Hey Victoria, I also wanted to let you know that I think you’re gorgeous, really smart, and just an all-around awesome person. I know we’re in the same master’s program so I don’t want you to feel like I can’t keep things professional if you say no, because I can. My priority right now is school. But regardless, I would love to take you out on a date some time and show you more of the city. You don’t have to answer now, but I wanted to ask you nonetheless.” Victoria blushes and says, “Oh thanks Ross. I wasn’t expecting that. Can I think about it and get back to you?” I reply, “Of course! No rush.” And we say good bye and I leave to return home.

A few days go by and I get a text from Victoria, “Hey, do you want to get some coffee before class tomorrow?”

Heck yeah.. It worked!

“Yeah, of course! I’ll see you there at 7:30am tomorrow.” I’m pumped and optimistic (per usual). I meet Victoria at the coffee shop at 7:30am and we both order our coffees. Right after we receive them and are about to sit down, another one of our classmates walks in, spots us and goes, “Hey Ross & Victoria!! Can I sit with you guys?”… “Yeah, Matt! Of course!” So we literally just end up getting coffee with Matt and never talk about my offer to Victoria.

Another couple days go by and I get a text from Victoria, “Hey, I meant to say this over coffee earlier this week but then Matt showed up so I chickened out. I really appreciated you asking me out the other night, but I have to say no. I came here to Chicago to focus on school and not mess around with boys, so I intend to stick to that. I think you’re really awesome and sweet, but I just need to stay focused on school. I hope you can understand that.”

Wooooooooof

Did I totally misread the situation?

I’m pretty confident she’s into me..?

All the signs pointed in that direction.

Alright.. how do I respond to this..?

I respond, “Yeah, I totally get that Victoria. My priority right now is also school. At the very least I hope we can still study together, otherwise I’ll see you at graduation when I get a 4.0 in this program.”

I’m a very competitive guy..

Just got rejected from the girl I have a big crush on..

Might as well let her know I’ll see her at the finish line.

Dang, I did NOT see that one coming. Whatever, I was proud of myself for mustering the courage to go ask her in person, regardless of how silly the excuse to come over was. Especially with everything being digital these days, I think there’s a lot to say when someone says something directly to one’s face. Well.. I came to Northwestern to learn prosthetics.. Nothing’s changed.

1 Week Later

Myself and 5 other classmates decide to run a 5k in Chicago. Whose idea was this 5k? Victoria’s… When did she ask everyone in class to participate? 1 month ago.. So this has been planned. Whatever, I’m excited to do this with everyone and have a good time.

Alright Ross, no need to go run this 5k as fast as you can.

Get to know everyone, run alongside them.

4 of the people aren’t huge runners, and state they’re going to run at like an 11-12 minute per mile pace. At this point in time, I’m typically running around 6-6:30 minutes per mile pace. Victoria says she’s going to aim for about 8:30-9:00 minutes per mile pace. “I’ll run with you Victoria!” Victoria happily accepts.

Smooth move Ross… maybe..?

Just got rejected 1 week ago and still gonna run alongside Victoria.

We run alongside each other the entire race, and I help us keep an 8:45/mile pace. The other 4 classmates (one being an above-knee amputee) run at their pace far behind us. Race ends and the 6 of us spend the whole day hanging out, having a good time, and enjoying downtown Chicago on a Saturday. 7:00pm-ish hits and Victoria looks to me and says, “Hey Ross, is it okay if I leave to go get dinner with some of my other girlies?”

I’m a little shocked here…

This girl just rejected me a week ago..

Why did she just ask my permission to leave..?

“What? Yeah of course you can go get dinner with your friends. You don’t need to ask me that.” I reply. Victoria blushes a little, says goodbye to everyone and leaves for her dinner. I remain with the other classmates that ran the 5k for the rest of the night. I end up falling asleep on my classmate’s couch..

I wake up at 7:57am, check my phone to find 9 text messages from Victoria. I immediately sit up from the couch and read them

Hi

Wake up

Ross

If I text you enough in a row will you wake up

ughhhhh

Hey Siri turn phone on loud

Hi

Nope

Didn’t work

I laugh at her attempt to have Siri turn my phone on loud and respond to her

Hahaha nooo I’m sorry

Wake up

Let me come over and play piano right now and we can get breakfast

I slept at Sam and Ross’s lol

Victoria responds a few minutes later. Within an hour from those messages I’m in my car picking up coffee for Victoria (no she didn’t ask for it), on my way to pick up Victoria from her friend’s house who she had dinner with, with plans to take her to breakfast. By the way… Neither of us are feeling the greatest due to the prior day’s adult activities… I pick Victoria up and I tell her there are 2 options for breakfast: Classic breakfast with the best cinnamon rolls, or the best fried chicken sandwich in Chicago… She chose the fried chicken.. So we go to Parson’s, a Nashville style hot chicken spot in Chicago. It’s 10:15am when we arrive, and we order a couple Nashville style chicken sandwiches. I see on the menu… “Cheap beer - $3”.. I order one for myself.. Hair of the dog.. While we’re eating Victoria dares/challenges me to chug the beer. That’s easy… I slam down the beer as we both giggle afterwards. We finish our breakfast, and there are no plans afterwards. I tell Victoria I’m planning to take my dog, Abel, to the dog park now and then watch the NFL’s AFC Championship game that afternoon. I invite her to come with, to which she excitingly agrees to join.

We take Abel to the dog park.. We watch the AFC Championship game.. We’ve now spent the entire Sunday together laughing, sharing stories, and flirting. After the AFC championship game Victoria decides she should probably go home. I offer to drive her home. During the entire ride home I keep thinking to myself how badly I want to kiss her. I drop her off and as she’s about to get out of the car I ask her if she’ll be my valentine? Victoria blushes and smiles as we gaze at each other. I go in for the kiss.. She leans in and kisses me back. “Yeah, I’d love to be your valentine. Thanks for the ride home. See you tomorrow in class!”

Let’s gooooooo!

We proceed to hang out nearly every day after class that week. I have never rushed so quickly to ask this of someone, but that Friday I ask her if she wants to be my girlfriend. Victoria smiles from ear to ear and says yes. Couldn’t be happier.

I text my parents the next day, “Hey guys, just wanted to let you know I’ve met someone wonderful and have a girlfriend now. Her name is Victoria, she’s southern, and she’s from my program! :)”

My dad responds, “That’s wonderful Ross, I’m so happy for you! I can’t wait to meet her. Just checking, does Victoria know she’s your girlfriend?”

Boom. Roasted..

By my own father..

Hahaha

“Haha yes, of course she knows Dad!”

I thought we were just studying--maybe I was a little naive.

In July 2021, we started our Masters of Prosthetics and Orthotics degree at Northwestern University, which began with online sessions. Ross and I became friends and often studied via FaceTime; he saw the real me (I can only imagine I was quite a mess) in those hours of studying and much to my surprise, he liked what he saw--I just didn't know it at the time.

Fast forward, and we're in the best city, Chicago. Ross and I were "somehow" placed in the same group within our class, meaning we would be spending a lot of time together over the next year. Our studying continued, and we even branched out to hanging out outside of class.

First Stop: aliveOne

After a pregame at Ross's apartment, we headed down to aliveOne and danced for hours and ended the night at The Wiener's Circle, where luckily, I was able to go unseen replacing mustard for ketchup on my Chicago dog. After this night Ross had invited me to, I finally felt like I had a home in Chicago, and I'm told this is where others could see me starting to fall for Ross.

Next Stop: The Piano Room

One day shortly after that night, Ross asked if he could stop by my apartment common room while I was studying to practice a song he was learning on the piano and give me a little gift. This man showed up with A JAR OF CHILI and asked me out on a date. While the chili was wonderful, a couple days later I rejected the idea of a date.

Best Stop: 5K & Parson’s

I rallied a few classmates to run a 5K with me, and no surprise, Ross was on board. I realized during this run, Ross is an amazing athlete. . . but, he stayed by my struggling side the entire run, and I was hooked. We celebrated our efforts with some drinks, and I went out with some friends later that night, only to end up sending Ross a string of texts later that night. When he woke up that next morning, scared he'd missed his chance, he grabbed coffee then grabbed me and took me to Parson's for brunch. We hung out the rest of that day and we've been hanging out ever since.

After being together in Chicago for a little over a year, we moved away for residency. Ross moved to Arizona, and Victoria moved to Michigan. Long distance was a challenge, but nothing we weren’t ready to take on. In those thankfully short six months, we made seeing each other our top priority and got to experience a lot of fun adventures together, including a two week trip to Scotland, a trip to the east coast to see our best man, Drew, and time well spent catching up and exploring our new homes together. In December of 2023, Victoria packed up her car, put Lila in the passenger seat, and drove from Detroit to Phoenix—she was moving in.

Phoenix has been wonderful to us. One of our favorite things to do is hike; we’re fortunate enough to have mountains within the valley and also just outside of it, providing a good excuse for weekend getaways in the heat of summer. Ross spur-of-the-moment planned one of these weekend getaways in July, a relaxing trip to Sedona, and we planned to hike the hidden trail to Subway Cave. Now the idea crossed Victoria’s mind that this would be a perfect proposal trip, but we had just planned the trip a week before, and “there was no way he had a ring.” Wrong. He had a ring. And nature gave us the most beautiful backdrop for the moment Ross asked Victoria to marry him.

The future holds countless more memories we look forward to making together. We’re more excited than words can express for our special day and the opportunity to share it with you.