Built-in bestie with questionable decision skills.

"I'm just a regular dude. I like to drink beer, you know. I love my family. Rock, flag, and eagle am I right?"

Idol & closeted life of the party.

“Whenever I’m about to do something, I think, “Would an idiot do that?” And if they would, I do not do that thing.”

If I murdered someone, she’s the person I’d call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She’s my person.

"If you've got a problem with Canada Gooses then you've got a problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate!"

The sister-in-love & real life Barbie

"To live is to risk it all; otherwise, you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you"

Lifelong camp buddy.

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."

Lax baddie, main character energy.

“I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.”

Animal lover, sass master.

I promise she's funnier than you.

The epitome of a sour-patch-kid.

Loves all things spooky, pickles, and Cowboys football.

Great bar tender, better drinking buddy, mediocre roommate.