KABBALAT PANIM (Cocktail Hour): When you arrive, we will have an hour or so of food, drinks, and schmoozing. The bride and groom are in separate areas greeting guests. The bride sits on a throne-like chair, surrounded by family and friends, while the groom will be in a separate room (the Choson’s Tisch or “Groom’s Table”) also surrounded by well-wishing guests.

The groom will be doing some paperwork during this time: (1) The Tanaim, a formal engagement contract between the two families, and (2) The Ketubah, a marriage contract which states the groom’s obligations to his wife. The Ketubah is signed by two witnesses and will be read aloud during the ceremony.

After the signing, the mothers of the couple break a plate, demonstrating that just as broken fine china can never be fully repaired, a broken marriage is an irreparable breach.

While we will be sitting in separate areas, please go between the two of us (the rooms are close by) and make sure to say hi to both of us!

BEDEKEN (Veiling of the bride): The Kabbalat Panim ends with the veiling of the bride. Customarily, the bride and groom do not see each other before the wedding. After the signing of the ketubah, the groom, accompanied by singing and dancing guests (with joyous music) is led to his bride. He then gently draws the veil over her face. This touching custom recalls the biblical story of the matriarch Rebecca who was so overcome when she saw her husband-to-be Isaac that she fell off her camel and covered her face with her scarf. The groom is the one to veil the bride in commemoration of the Jewish patriarch Jacob who was betrothed to Rachel, but when the veil was lifted he found that the older sister, Leah, was actually his bride. Here, the groom ascertains that he has the right bride before the veil covers her face. The bride is then blessed by her father and father-in-law.

After the Bedekin, guests are ushered to take their seats at the ceremony.

CHUPAH: Jewish couples are married under a canopy symbolizing their new home. Open on all sides, it makes a statement that guests are welcome in their home.

THE WEDDING CEREMONY: The bride and groom, likened to a king and queen accompanied by attendants, are escorted to the chupah by their parents. When the groom reaches the chupah, his parents will help him put on a white robe (kittel) to signify purity and sanctity. After the bride approaches, she circles the groom counter-clockwise seven times to symbolize the delineation of their own private world within the outer world, with her husband-to-be at its center.

During the ceremony, the groom recites in Hebrew, “Behold you are consecrated unto me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.” He then places a ring on the bride’s finger. The ring, being circular and without end, symbolizes the eternity and the permanence of the marriage. At this point, the bride and groom are considered married, but the ceremony isn't over! Now family members or friends of the couple are called up to give seven blessings in Hebrew over a cup of wine, from which the couple will drink at the end.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, a glass is placed under the groom’s foot and he breaks it in remembrance of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. At this time the bride and groom may recite or sing prayers for the peace of Israel and the Jewish People.

The band will begin to play and the guests will shout Mazal Tov (congratulations). The couple is danced out to a private room where they are given a few minutes alone together.

While this happens, guests are invited to find their seats at the reception and begin to eat the first course.

RECEPTION: When the bride and groom rejoin their guests at the reception, there is great rejoicing and lots of dancing. Men dance around the groom, and women around the bride. Often the bride and groom are placed in the center of the circle and entertained by special dances and shtick (antics).

The rest of the wedding will be dancing and eating, and eating and dancing! So make sure to bring some good dancing shoes (some women change into sneakers) and a big appetite!

We can't wait to celebrate with you!