They met at an airport, bound for the Dominican Republic. She sat, surrounded by conversation and quietly taking it all in. He stood in his old sandals, sweating and explaining himself to everyone. Their first conversation centered on his desire to eradicate the phrase "I don't think that...," because it sounds like the negation of a thought or something like that. They spoke very little on that trip. Though I have it on good authority that he thought she was cute, but not interested in him. Some weeks before, his brother had warned him in a jest: "We just hired an executive assistant. She is just your type. Don't fall for her." He laughed it off then, but now sees the wisdom of that scripture, "Only in his own household is a prophet without honor."

They got to know each other by recording some silly videos. She struggled through his demands for perfection and on occasion, he served as a crying shoulder. He made it his goal to make her laugh. She began to seek him out and it was not uncommon, at this time, for the high ceilings of the Pines office to ring out in her gentle holler, "Alfreeeddooo!"

They became friends by sharing their faith. As a newly minted Christian, she brimmed with questions, her curiosity as strong as her newfound devotion, which he loved all the more. He welcomed her inquiries with open arms, especially when they revolved around Jesus. Their conversations deepened, culminating in her invitation to a solo Bible study at Barnes & Noble. He tagged along, naively thinking her interest was purely spiritual or perhaps thinking that his apparent oversight in reading her signals only highlighted his charming simplicity. We will never know what really crossed his mind, and we can be thankful about it.

They loved each other long before either one let it be known. As she approached his desk each day, he quietly prayed that one day God would let him marry her, while she, overwhelmed by her feelings, prayed for God to remove him from her life if he wasn't meant for her. Despite her prayers, she found herself longing for him, even as he feigned indifference, believing she would never notice him. Yet, each harbored a quiet but totally reasonable and in no way a sinful jealousy; a tinge of discomfort watching the other mingle and laugh with someone else.

They confessed their feelings over sushi. He broke the silence abruptly, as is his way, "You know I like you, right?" The sushi was satisfying but unremarkable, becoming a mere background to the fidgeting of nervous hands— mostly hers. He, meanwhile, was nearly bursting with joy so exuberant, he feared his cheeks would tear out of his head.

Their relationship began on November 26th. They sat in his car and shared everything there was to know. She had many reservations. Who wouldn't? I mean, it's Alfredo. But over time, the mercy of God had overpowered her and convinced her to give that poor oaf a chance. One thing was clear to both of them after that night: 2025 was too dang far away!

They became engaged on March 5th. He had prepared a simple dinner at home, ostensibly to lift her spirits. Nothing went according to plan. Gusts of wind snuffed out the candles and made the ripples on the pool overwhelm the floating plates on its surface, capsizing a few. An old popcorn bucket from a movie she hated served as the impromptu ice holder for a champagne to which he is allergic. He was noticeably sweating, as is his way, and he feared he'd sweat right through his hat. As the meal concluded, he brought out their time capsule, which held a fake ring inside; a final ruse to heighten emotion. "That's not the real ring because, this is the real ring," he exclaimed as he struggled to get the large wooden box out of his much too small pocket. But despite all the shortcomings, and probably against better judgment, she said, "Yes!"

They will be united for life on September 7th and if you are reading this, as highly improbable as it is that anyone made it this far, you get to be their witness. I know what he would want to say, and what she would want him to say. But, instead, I will leave you with this: What do platanos say when they lose their phone? "Where did Mofongo?"