When you know, you know.

In this story, I'll answer when I fell for Amanda, when I knew she was the one, and when I proposed. I'll call them out below.

March 23rd:

It started like any other Hinge app experience…

I thought she was cute, she seemed intelligent and she loved Costco.

Her prompt: “The way to win me over is… Taking me to Costco on sample day”

My response: “Oh man… I’m completely down for this as a first date. Love this idea”

She seemed like the whole package, so I wanted to see if I even had a chance. I got a response!

We began to talk back and forth often, so I got up the gusto to ask her out on a date via the app.

March 27th (4 days of chatting later):

“Not to be forward, but I would love to have dinner with you some night this week. Costco requested to either get gas, get ice cream, but optional if the timing just isn’t right”

March 28th (1 day of silence):

“I was definitely kidding about Costco… BTW”

March 29th - April 1st…

Maybe I came on too strong…

Amanda is feared ghosted or dead

April 2nd at 10p (5 days of silence):

Amanda is actually alive and messages me about how there was no cell reception in Mammoth (uh-huh) while snowboarding with her friends.

“Sorry!... I feel terrible for not checking. Def did not mean to leave you hanging.”

So… I requested we switch to texting! I still wanted that first date! As she was going on a work trip, I asked her when I could take her out. She said the following week. I wasn’t gonna let this one get a way! She might ghost me!

So after her work trip, that weekend she mentioned she was going to Santa Barbara to visit some friends and her Mom. Coincidentally, I decided I was going to be wine tasting up there too that weekend (to pick up wine I'd procrastinated picking up since November). So I asked if she wanted to go out there. I thought Santa Barbara would be memorable for a first date and I really liked talking to this girl.

She agreed and Saturday came around… I was wine tasting alone, excited to meet her later, she was with her friend when she texted hoping I’d cancel because she was OVER first dates.

I didn't pick up the signal and told her, I’ll see you soon. So reluctantly she went. Poor Amanda. Haha

“I parked, walking up”. “Me too”.

I got to the restaurant first, she was walking up and I immediately spotted her from afar. She and I locked eyes and had our first telepathic conversation.

She got to me and I hugged her and whispered, “I know, that family in front of you was walking so slowly”.

She pulled back from the hug and looked at me, smiling for the first time at something I said, “I know they were, right?” (when I assume she saw the first spark)

There was a tourist family that was walking spread across the entire sidewalk and I watched her bob and weave to try and pass them to no avail.

The connection was instant. We were at Santo Mezcal, just around the corner from where we would ultimately be getting married and the sister restaurant to our rehearsal dinner’s restaurant. This is important because I knew she would LOVE their margaritas and chicken mole.

So after chatting it through, we ordered two Mezcal margaritas, Chicken Mole, and Ceviche. A nice split bite for a hopefully memorable first date.

We laughed, we joked, we told stories, it was like we were instantly best friends. But, as this was still during COVID times, this restaurant had a time clock on the table, so at 90 minutes, we were kicked out and the date had to come to an apparent end. Amanda didn’t want the date to end so soon (yes!!!! I agreed!!!), so she asked if I wanted to go to a little bar in the funk zone that was just around the corner, Cutlers. She knew the bartender there, so we went.

Fearing being too forward, I didn't try to hold her hand as we walked to the bar. But as we continued chatting, I could not help seeing if we had more than a friendship spark, so I pulled her in and kissed her. This was while we waited for the crosswalk to turn at State street.

Boom, a rush of nerves and feelings, smiles, and suddenly I hear a sigh of relief out of both of us.

THIS GIRL LIKES ME!!! This was when I fell for her.

Cutlers was a nice outdoor spot, we each had a cocktail. Continuing to chat, asking about family, career, friends, etc, she gets the escape text from her now maid of honor. “I bet we're having more fun than you are”. To her friend’s surprise, she sent back a picture of me with a “I bet I'm having a better time than you are!”. That garnered me an invite to trivia night next. So off to a third location!

Jackbox, drinks, Ashley/Jordan/Phil vettings… (Amanda's best friends at Trivia Night)

I called my mom on the way back to LA and told her that I just met the one for me, but deep down, I feared I came on too strong and wouldn't hear from her again. The doubts were real!

Fifteen minutes into my call, a text from Amanda.

Two days later date #2. Italian food, Bowling (Amanda slaughtered me) , and beer pong (had to show up her UCSB skills with my UCSD nerdiness… and I won) and we took our first photo together.

I then left for a bachelor party for the man that would become our officiant for our wedding.

For our third date the following week, Ramen and a movie at my place. She walked into the house and immediately said “is that the Lego Space Shuttle Discovery?” and this was when I knew… (not toy, or Lego space ship, or even Lego Space Shuttle, but DISCOVERY!!)

That night, I asked her to be my date to the wedding of said bachelor party above, about two months later. It was bold, but that hadn't steered me wrong so far. She said yes (not the first time she'd say yes to a proposal to go to a wedding), but told me she had a Shaina Twain concert that same night. And the following day, she was going to go on vacation solo to Hawaii. To be fair, as anyone would, I said the automatic, “oh man, I'd love to go to Hawaii”.

“would you?”

Finding a non-conflicting weekend, 9 days later, we were in Hawaii for 9 days.

This fairytale so far was not without its bruises… apparently, Ensenada cruise bachelor parties bring back diseases… Mine was Covid. As Amanda and I were at the kissing stage, I got it 5 days before we left. She got it on day 2 of our trip…

My heart broke for her. I thought I had ruined her trip. This new guy she was seeing was the worst. So I did everything possible to make her feel like she was getting the best Hawaii trip. And in the process, I fell in love.

Traveling with someone that you just met, but were freshly dating, you can tell if you get along well very quickly. The instant connection didn't go away, it only got stronger. By day 6, I told her I loved her. More romantically, on the beach on day 7, she said it back to me. We were crazy!

And continuing to do everything to give her the best trip possible, this is when I proposed. On day 8 of our Hawaii trip, May 7th, in the heat of the trip, the 35 years of waiting, and a couple of Mai Tais, with covid pumping through our veins, I got down on one knee on the beach in Lahaina. Not expecting to do this, I had no ring, just a promise.

6 weeks earlier, we weren't sure of a first date, now we were flying home engaged.

And the aftermath entailed trips around the country, a cruise, a couple of weddings of friends and family, a triathlon, Taylor Swift concerts, lots of wine tasting, a fully self-renovated new home, and our son Oliver.

When you know, you know.

You never know until you know.

And why wait when you do.

So next, we're going to get married.

I was very over the dating scene, let alone dating apps but saw this cute guy on Hinge and decided to read his profile more in depth. He seemed well rounded, fun, goofy and wasn't trying to be an actor as a 'profession'. We started chatting and connected over our love for Costco.

After about a week, I left for a Mammoth trip and wasn't checking the app at all. When I opened the app about 5 days later, I saw Ryan asked me out and was being fun and light hearted saying we should incorporate Costco into our date somehow. I then saw another message saying that our date didn't have to be Costco, we can get gas or stop at the food court quickly or something. Then there was another message of him continuing to backtrack about the Costco date and how he was just kidding and was just trying to play on the theme of our love for Costco. It was clear that my lack of response caused him to panic and he didn't know how to correct it :)

I messaged him immediately saying how sorry I was for the delay and told him that I had been on a trip and reception was spotty but I would love to go on a date with him. He then asked for my number so we wouldn't miss each other again and asked me to dinner that weekend. I let him know that I would be in SB for Easter and he quickly followed up with the fact that we would be there too picking up a wine shipment and would like to take me on a date up in Santa Barbara and I agreed. * little did I know that he didn’t need to pick it up that weekend, he just didn’t want to let me get away*

On the day of the date, I was visiting a friend and started to dread the idea of going on another first date since they had previously been so exhausting and the guys were worthless. I then texted him checking in on how his wine tasting/shipment pick up was going in Solvang and if he needed to reschedule, I would totally understand. He said that he was already on his way back and could even meet earlier! I let this eager kid know that we need to stick to the original time since I was with a friend but I would see him there. Knowing I couldn't get out of it at this point, I went to my mom's house to get ready for my date.

I had just parked at the restaurant and let Ryan know I was walking over as I was running a few minutes late. As I was walking down State Street, I was behind these EXTREMELY slow tourist who wore socks with their sandals and I was trying to get around them but every time I zigged, they zagged! I finally got around them and locked eyes with Ryan standing by a table on the patio and made my way over to him. He immediately went in for a hug and said " I know, they were walking soooo slow!" At that moment, I knew there was something different about this guy.

Ryan told me that he chose Santo Mezcal because they have very good mole and thought I would like the place. The waiter came over and I ordered a margarita, and he went off explaining that they are known for Mezcal so I should get a Mezcal margarita instead. I didn’t want to seem picky so I said ok even though I despise Mezcal. Ryan then ordered ceviche and the chicken mole for us to share. When the drink came, I nearly died after tasting it but tried not to show it. Ryan saw right through me and I confessed that I can’t stand Mezcal and we had a good laugh about it. Then we tried the mole and I am very picky about it (since no one beats grandma’s mole) and I did not like it at all but forced it down and pretended to like it.

Ryan was very easy to talk to and we had a lot of things in common so the time flew by. The restaurant had a 90 min time limit so I asked him if he would like to grab a drink across the street in the Funk Zone. He said yes and we made our way over. While we were stopped at the street light, he looked down at me and pulled me in for a kiss. I was taken by surprise but immediately kissed him back. This guy was different than any guy I had met before.

While we were at the bar, my cousin Jordan texted me asking if I would still be heading over for game night later. I let her know that I was having a good time with this guy and probably wouldn’t make it and she joked that they were having a better time than me. I told Ryan what going on and he said “challenge accepted” lets go to game night and show them how much fun we are having!

At game night, Ryan fit right in with my friends and we had an absolute blast with everyone and they could see how he made me light up and how compatible we were. It was the perfect end to a perfect night.

As most of you know, this then lead to a trip to Maui a month into dating, saying our I Love You's (let’s see who actually reads this – he got down on one knee the last night we were there on the beach after dinner and proposed and I was crazy enough to say yes) , me basically living with Ryan after that, officially moving in September, trying for a baby in October (ya know, since we are old haha), officially engaged in December, buying a house in January and having our beautiful baby boy Oliver in June and now getting married.

Although we moved quickly, we had both been around the block and didn’t find what we were looking for. This relationship felt different from the beginning and we knew that is what we had been searching for. Ryan has been a breath of fresh air and our love is like nothing I have ever experienced before. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with him!