Hey Guests:

Please allow me to regale you with the tale of how Amanda and I came to meet, fall in love, and decide to get married. It is a long one, so perhaps make some tea or a cocktail before we begin. (We are talking years here, people.)

You back? Okay great. Our story begins in the late summer of 2008, when Amanda and I were freshmen at Trinity. Our interactions back then were what you would probably call "incidental." (Sexy, right?) We hung out because we were in similar clubs and had overlapping friends (shoutout: Nora Keller and Emily Lee.) but both dated other people for the lion's share of college. I do distinctly remember the first time I really noticed how cute she was. She was playing one of the moms in Romeo & Juliet, I am not sure which one, but I suspect Lady Montague. Anyway, there was this fight scene and she had these sticks. Very scary. (She looked great though). It wasn't until early in our senior year that our friendship grew close and we, as kids these days would put it, "caught the feels."

Hate to ruin the romantic mystique folks, but our love story isn't founded upon some meet-cute, love-at-first-sight kind of thing. It grew slowly, developing over countless conversations, trips for coffee, happy hours gorging on half-priced apps and drinks at Cuvee in West Hartford (R.I.P.). We were both dealing with respective issues in our relationships at the time and we both needed each other for support. We talked about what we wanted and, at least in my case, how my relationship at the time just wasn't providing it. We shared our values and our aspirations. In retrospect, it was the first time Amanda served in what would come to be her most important role in my life -- my best friend. It took months, but I eventually came to realize that I was with the wrong girl. That, in fact, the right girl was the one sitting next to me on the couch until 2 AM, pouring me more wine and listening to me vent. (Author's note: I can't speak for Amanda, but I have it on good authority that she too felt this same way on this exact same night.)

Alas, as would later be a recurring theme in our relationship, we ran into a common hazard for many a budding romance: bad timing. At the time, Amanda was: 1) still in a relationship with someone who wasn't me, 2) about to move across the country for a year, and 3) one of my best friends, which, you know, complicates things. Three insurmountable hurdles that meant I just needed to be cool and be patient. (Author's note: being "cool" and being patient are two things I have literally never done well. see e.g. the Hawaiian shirts I wore to elementary school.) That did not stop us from being friends, however, and thankfully that part of our relationship continued unabated.

The year Amanda was gone sucked. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am very glad she did it. But I was dealing with the aftertaste of my recently ended long-term relationship (not too well) and the sudden loss of my sounding board left me feeling a little unmoored. We talked a lot, sure. But it wasn't the same. This was sort of the status quo for a while, even after she came back from L.A. I think we were both a little unsure about how dating would impact our friendship. Also there was the pesky fact that I was in law school in Philadelphia and she was in law school in Boston (Boo, Harvard). We dated other people, but she was always in the back of my mind.

FINALLY in March, 2015 things changed. I am really not sure exactly what changed, but something did. We started talking a lot more and (now that we were both finally single) those conversations drifted more toward "us" and what that would look like. I suggested she stop by Philadelphia on her way to New Orleans that summer and she agreed. We had our first official date on a rainy weekend in May. (She wore a yellow dress and looked, in my admittedly biased opinion, like sunlight personified.) Just before she left, I asked her if she, yanno, wanted to maybe date me exclusively sorta? (Spoiler alert: she said yes.)

And so began a long distance romance that spanned three years (and counting. Sorry, babe). Manda spent the summer in New Orleans while I stayed in Philadelphia. We certainly had to get creative with dates in our early relationship. (We once went on a date to Atlanta. Swear to God. We both flew to Altanta for a date. Most people go for like dinner or something one month in. It was pretty baller.) But we made it through that summer and every summer since. Sometimes I wonder if our friends and family though the whole distance thing would be too much and that it wouldn't work out. I am sure some of them did. Maybe all of them. Unclear. All I know is that I never doubted us for a second. (Not even being cute because I know she's reading this, honestly). From day one the distance was never really an issue for me. Obviously, it sucks. 100%. I put 30,000 miles on my car in a year and get an oil change every two months. But the alternative is unfathomably worse.

Being in a long-distance relationship has also made us trust each other unequivocally. It means we need to be good at communicating, prioritizing spending time together, and balancing work with our commitments to our friends and family. All of those things means a stronger relationship in the end. So while not being able to spend an entire Sunday lounging on the couch watching Netflix stinks, there has been an upside.

So yeah, I think the rest is, as they say, history. I asked her to marry me last June. (She *eventually* said yes, which is a separate funny story I would be happy to tell you at the wedding). We got a dog at the end of April (Scout, the Goldendoodle who stole our hearts and our restful sleep the moment we brought her home). Otherwise we are getting ready for the big day. People keep asking me if I am nervous. I guess that is a pretty common thing for people to ask; marriage is a big step. The funny thing is I am more nervous about how not nervous I am. (Make sense?) It feels so right and I am really just excited that I get to spend the rest of my life with someone so awesome. Someone great who, for some reason entirely unknown to me, decided to pick me.

Anyway, I think you have all you need to know, friends. Sorry if you came here expecting some Nicholas-Sparks-meets-Hallmark-Channel love story. That's just not our style, but I feel that it is just as meaningful nonetheless. Instead, I always tend to think about falling in love with Amanda like waves forming in the Ocean, starting off as small ripples on the horizon, then slowly but surely building into something awesome and powerful. She's the most incredible person I have ever met. Seriously.

Can't wait to celebrate into the wee hours with each and every one of you in a few months!

Best,

Jim

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