Funny story. We met on Hinge. You know the tagline: "the dating app designed to be deleted." Who knew that was true for us!

We had been talking for about two weeks & had our first date set for 12/18/2021. However, we got to meet early because I'm a procrastinator & Neil is a sweetheart.

It was December 15 & I had just moved into the Jackson St house. I would stay there when I had to work the next day so there truly wasn't anything in the house except my bed, scrubs, & towels. In true Amber fashion, I put off (what was supposed to be) a four-hour online class until the night before an in-person session. So, four hours into this class, I found myself only halfway through & extremely frustrated. I was texting Neil the whole time & complaining (fully aware that it was my fault for being stressed).

Neil asked me what he could do to help & I replied jokingly, "bring me ice cream." Well, he did.

Next thing I knew, Neil had driven from Champaign to Bloomington late at night (we're talking past 9PM), stopped at the store, & brought me ice cream! I was stunned. shocked. flabbergasted.

The rest of the night, he helped me study, kept me on task, brought in a dresser that had been in my car, set up my new TV, & ultimately, laid the foundation for me to fall head over heels in love.

Next thing we know, it's Christmas Eve & Neil meets Avry for the first time & spends Christmas morning at the house.

Over the next few months, Neil would drive back & forth from Champaign to Bloomington quite frequently. Neil & Avry became friends, which allowed me to get a glimpse (for the first time) of what life could be like.

Once summer hit, Neil moved into the Jackson St house & got to experience his first Baer 4th of July special.

Now, it hasn't been easy. Neil got thrown into parenting a strong-willed child with fully formed beliefs, behaviors, & attitudes. Navigating that has been challenging but Neil has excelled in ways that have blown me away. For example, early on in our relationship, Avry was having a monumental meltdown & was completely dysregulated. I was at a loss of what to do & Neil stepped in. He gave Avry math equations & over the course of five minutes, Avry was able to turn off the overstimulated & dysregulated emotional side of his brain & turn on the logical side which helped him calm back down. After Avry was able to sit & breathe, we all sat in a family hug & I just cried.

Another barrier we've faced has been my ability to trust & communicate. & again, Neil has been patient & oh-so kind. Helped me find the words, unlock emotions, work through past hurts. He's shown me kindness when I feel like I don't deserve it. & he's helped stitch back together parts of me I never thought would return. I laugh now, like full belly laugh & do it frequently. I'm silly & not afraid to look stupid for a good joke. Those parts of me had been in hiding for years, afraid to make an appearance. But the thing is, when you're in an environment (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, & physically) where you know you are safe, the silly gets to come out again.

I know hard times will continue to come, it's a part of life. But I'm not afraid of life anymore. I'm not afraid to be me anymore.

Neil is an amazing father. The way he loves me is baffling. & I am so incredibly excited to get to share the rest of my life with him.