I heard this shortly after moving to Nashville in February 2015: it takes ten years to build a career here. Turns out, our love story was also ten years in the making. Hilarious, right?

I met Hitoshi in my friend Sandra's living room within my first few months of living in Nashville. She was on staff part time at an Anglican parish leading worship and hosted all the musicians for dinner one night. Hitoshi was one of them. Sparks did not fly (Hitoshi doesn't even recall this meeting), but our friendship began.

In the winter of 2017, he asked me out. (I don't recall this, mainly because it was through email.) I politely declined, and our friendship continued. He helped me move, played on my record, and we saw each other at concerts and in different friends circles.

In January of 2021, he asked me out again. I do remember it this time. (It was still via email, and this time I was miffed. This was not the way I was hoping to be swept off my feet!) I politely declined but made it clear that I only wanted to be his friend.

In the summer of 2022, I hired Hitoshi to play cello with me at the church I work at. I can only explain it as this: a lightning bolt, a bell, the striking of a match. I saw him and was immediately hit with feelings of desire and love for him. I went home and journaled this but wondered if my uterus was playing tricks on me. How could this be happening? This was my friend, Hitoshi. Unfortunately, it took me another two years to get honest with myself. Then I started secretly dating him, inviting him to movies and comedy clubs and hoping that maybe he'd ask me out oooonneeeee more time and I could say "omg yes!"... but that didn't happen.

In February of 2024, I emailed (I was trying to speak his language! but now that I'm writing this out, I see my hypocrisy...) Hitoshi and asked if we could go on a walk. It was an unseasonably warm February day, and we walked a three mile loop. I confessed that my feelings had changed, or deepened? or, I wasn't sure... but I wanted to go on at least one date if he was still open to me. The only problem was, my parents were coming into town that weekend to visit me. So, yes, our official first date was a Sunday brunch with my parents (who knew Hitoshi as my friend but were trying to figure out why I was casually inviting just him to dine with us...) When I FaceTimed them a month later to tell them we were dating, they were elated but not surprised! (My Dad once asked me to consider Hitoshi as a potential date.)

After our third date, Hitoshi sat on my couch and said, "I want you, I want us, and I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to." The world made sense at that moment, especially all those years of friendship between us.

I always heard it was about timing. They were right!