The Wedding Day:

Our Sages teach us that each marriage ceremony is a reenactment of the marriage between G-d and the Jewish people that took place at Mount Sinai. The bond between a husband and wife is like the cosmic bond which exists between the Jews and G-d. The wedding day is thus a day of special holiness - a personal Yom Kippur for the bride (kallah) and groom (choson). Berel and Devorah Leah will fast on this day and are forgiven for their past mistakes as they prepare for a new life together.

Tenoim and Kesubah:

The Tenoim (betrothal agreement) is the official binding engagement and the Kesubah (marriage contract) is a binding document of confidence and trust which details Berel's obligations to Devorah Leah.

Kabbolas Ponim (Welcoming the Guests):

According to tradition, the bride and groom do not see each other during the week before the wedding until the actual wedding ceremony. Devorah Leah will be in a separate room where guests will come to greet her and offer their good wishes. At Berel's reception known as the Tish (Yiddish for “table”), the Tenoim will be read aloud. After this, the mothers of the bride and groom, ceremonially break a plate to symbolize the solemnity of the document and the irreparable nature of a broken contract. This act also represents the duality of joy and seriousness that permeates the occasion.

It is the Chabad custom for the groom to recite a Chassidic discourse (ma’amer). The discourse begins with the words, “L’cho Dodi,” (“Come, my beloved”) and discusses the mystical significance of the wedding.

The Bedeken (Veiling Ceremony):

At the conclusion of the receptions, Berel will be escorted by a procession towards Devorah Leah, accompanied by the singing of a special nigun (Chassidic melody) composed by the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi (1745-1812). Berel will approach Devorah Leah and place a veil over her face, symbolizing that his interest in her extends beyond her physical beauty to encompass her inner beauty of character.

In covering her face, Devorah Leah also emulates our Matriarch Rebecca, who covered her face out of modesty when she saw Isaac for the first time. At this special moment, the couple’s fathers and grandfathers will bless Devorah Leah that she be as worthy as our Matriarchs who built the Jewish nation.

The Chupah:

The wedding ceremony takes place under a Chupah (canopy). Open on all four sides, the Chupah is also likened to Abraham and Sarah’s tent, the first Jewish home, which according to tradition, had entrances on all four sides as a reflection of their great hospitality. The Chupah stands outdoors under the stars, to reflect G-d’s promise to our holy ancestors that their children will be as numerous as “the stars of heaven.” It is a custom for those leading the groom and bride to carry candles, symbolizing that the couple’s life together will be one of light and joy.

When Devorah Leah joins Berel under the Chupah, she will circle him seven times. Seven signifies a creative completion, like the seven days of creation, a passage beyond the physical into the spiritual. Just as the seventh day became the Sabbath, a spiritual day and the day that completed the creation of the world, so do the seven circles around the groom signify their completed quest for each other. Seven also symbolizes the seven times a man wraps the Tefillin straps around his arm. Just as a man binds himself in love of G-d, so is he bound in love to his bride.

The Rebbe’s Letter:

It was the Rebbe’s custom to respond to invitations to participate at a wedding by sending a letter of blessing to the groom and bride. The text of this letter is read at the beginning of the Chupah ceremony, thereby inviting these blessing to accompany Berel and Devorah Leah throughout their life.

The Ceremony:

The ceremony begins with a blessing recited over wine, symbolically setting the tone for the joyousness of the occasion, followed by a blessing to designate the end of their engagement status and the beginning of the marriage ceremony. At the conclusion of the blessing, Berel and Devorah Leah will drink from the cup of wine.

The ceremony itself is composed of two parts: Kiddushin (betrothal) and Nissuin (marriage.) The essence of Kiddushin is when Berel gives Devorah Leah a ring in the presence of two witnesses. Placing an unadorned gold band on Devorah Leah's finger, Berel will declare, “Behold, you are consecrated unto me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel”.

The ring used at the ceremony symbolizes an unspoken prayer: just as the ring should be of plain gold without any engraving, so too is it hoped that their marriage will be one of simple beauty, without “bumps”. By accepting the ring, Devorah Leah consents to the marriage. Following the giving of the ring, the kesubah is read aloud. This reading serves to clearly distinguish between the two distinct ceremonies of betrothal and nuptials, allowing for the recitation of another blessing over wine.

Sheva Brochos (The Seven Blessings):

The ceremony continues with the reciting of the seven blessings over a second cup of wine. Different people are called upon to recite these blessings, which acknowledge and praise G-d, the Creator of the world and humankind; the marriage of Berel and Devorah Leah; and the couple's happiness and the raising of a family. The last blessing brings the ceremony to its height of joy, with praises for love, friendship, peace, and joy. Following the last blessing, Devorah Leah and Berel will sip the wine.

Breaking the Glass:

Although filled with a sense of joy throughout the wedding, a glass is broken as a sign that even at this happiest time we remember the destruction of Jerusalem and its Holy Temple. In remembering this event, Devorah Leah and Berel are connected to their past and reminded of their obligation to “rebuild the Temple” in their own lives by establishing their own Jewish home.

Yichud (Privacy):

The final part of the Chupah is the Yichud or time of privacy which seals the marriage. The Yichud room affords the bride and groom their first opportunity to spend a few private moments together as husband and wife. While in Yichud, the couple, who have been fasting, share some food together.

Rejoicing: The Wedding Feast:

When Berel and Devorah Leah enter the ballroom, all of the guests rise to greet them and celebrate their marriage. Since the wedding is considered a religious and communal event, men and women are seated and dance separately. This also serves to highlight the sanctity and uniqueness of the private relationship between husband and wife. It is a great Mitzvah to “bring joy to the bride and groom,” and everyone joins in the dancing in their honor. After the meal, Birkas HaMazon (the blessing after a meal) is sung and the Sheva Brochos are repeated, both recited over a cup of wine.

We look forward to dancing & celebrating with you!

B&D

Wedding Day

Reception