Oddly enough, Brian came to be good friends with Scott, Allison's dad, some 8-9 years ago. The first conversation Allison and Brian remember is out for lunch with family Christmas eve 2022. Allison was usually off at some ministry opportunity (Ellerslie, KidOne, In the Gap, Youth Haven, etc.), so we hadn't really talked before that.

This whole thing is just one hilarious story dripping with God's intervention and Goodness, so we'll try to do it justice.

In February 2023, Allison was wrestling with a question and needed a guy's perspective. So, Rhonda (her mom) mentioned she could call Brian. After talking for an hour on the phone together, he prayed for her and then followed up a week or so later.

After that, our audio message conversations moved on to Jesus and we kept talking. And talking. And talking. Pretty quickly we found we both liked really talking about Jesus and His Word (which are still our favorite things to talk about). After that first conversation, everything was sent over audio messages, which eventually reached some 45 minutes each...covering a range of topics. We both were having an absolute blast!

And it was about a month after those conversations (it was now about March) that Brian found himself looking forward to hearing from Allison as the best part of his day. She became his favorite person to talk about Jesus with. And that's when it hit him...he was falling for this girl.

That thought, when it came into his mind, sounded like, "Oh no, this girl is fantastic!"

Brian saw Allison's heart, her kind and gentle spirit. The way that she loved God and her family, and cared for all those around her. He saw the way she sacrificed to care for others, and her own need to know the Love of Jesus - just like he did.

Still struggling to hold on to Hope, and assuming that nothing would ever work between them, Brian knew he had to tell Scott and Rhonda. He couldn't keep talking with her, without them knowing that he had feelings for her. That conversation didn't entirely shut down the possibility of a relationship, but Brian desperately didn't want to lose the awesome friendship that had developed or for things to get weird.

Spoiler alert: things changed...

Scott and Rhonda brought it up to Allison that talking with a guy so deeply and so frequently might be a sign that something more than friendship was developing. Allison had never considered this possibility, and completely caught off guard. She super appreciated talking with Brian, and the thought had literally never occurred that this would be a possibility. She admires many things about Brian, but she never saw him as anything more than a friend. She thought and prayed about it a lot, but she just couldn’t see it going any further. She wrestled much and sought wise counsel. She saw so many amazing and godly qualities in Brian. But the spiritual connection they did have isn’t the only way God designed two people to connect. She couldn’t see them being able to connect on the day-to-day life things. She came to the conclusion that it wasn’t necessary for her to say “yes” to a man who genuinely was godly, yet she wasn’t attracted to and couldn’t see herself being with for the rest of her life. She took great comfort, however, knowing that if this was from the Lord, there wasn’t anything she could do to stop it. Jesus would make a way, even if her decision was to pull back from the friendship for now.

Allison, wanting to be clear about not leading Brian on, sent a polite, abrupt and unlike-herself audio message that she enjoyed our conversations, but that she wasn't interested in continuing them. Especially as she was heading out soon for the first of several month-long mission trips that summer.

That hurt Brian, and it was then that he realized how deep these feelings ran for her.

It wasn't just that it looked like they wouldn't have a relationship. It was that Brian had come to enjoy their friendship very much—talking about Jesus with Allison was honestly the best part of his day. And he had developed a fondness for Allison and genuinely wanted to continue to help her grow towards Jesus and know Him more and more.

And yet, it felt like this ending of their virtual conversations might be the fix — if there was no path forward, then maybe we could just be friends.

So, that's how we entered the early part of the summer. Brian kept praying for God to grow Allison. Over the course of these mission trips, he had a burden to keep praying for her and for the team she served alongside. They especially prayed that God would bring some (he meant other) amazing guy into Allison’s life. Besides texting her his prayers, we communicated about little else besides playing an occasional game of word hunt over text, a fun little 1-minute challenge that Allison wins some 29 out of 30 games. It was about this time Brian was also starting to pray that God would take away these feelings if it wasn't going to happen.

For her part, Allison was just amazed that Brian would keep praying for her as a sister in Christ, even though it was clear that he had no hope of winning her over through his prayers. But she also was concerned that Brian might feel like he could win her heart, so Allison gave more generic prayer requests and general answers. Nothing to lead him on.

But Brian kept talking with her parents as the weeks passed.

Then one day, Brian had a strange thought. Despite desperately praying for the feelings to go away, those feelings didn't change. He felt somehow called by God to stay right there. It wasn't a promise that anything would change or that it would work out and we might be together as something more than friends. God impressed on his heart that He had specially commissioned Brian to be there to support Allison, to pray for her, and be used however God wanted to use him in all this, no matter what happened. This was June and July.

Then she left for another month-long mission trip, and everything reset. We were back at square one, and Brian didn't want to push things. So we kept playing Word Hunt.

At this point God wasn't removing the feelings, and Brian had to be honest with her parents that he still had feelings and felt like God was still calling him to pursue her. They had made it super clear that there wasn't hope and this wasn't likely.

When Allison came back in August, Brian invited her to do a book club together with him. They would read a chapter in a book about biblical counseling called Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands and then get together to discuss it. Although Allison wasn’t super keen on the idea, she agreed to move forward with the book discussion because she knew it would be good for her to hear Brian’s perspective as a brother in Christ. And she knew that a book discussion was a thing two people could do just as friends. And that’s how Brian intended it. Just to restart the friendship that he enjoyed so much.

Inevitably though, those book discussions between the two of them would continue on for 3 hours each meeting, and by the end—no matter the subject of the chapter—they would circle back to marveling at how awesome Jesus is. Allison noted how she would leave those discussions feeling closer to God and seeing His love for her more personally than ever before.

A few weeks into the discussions, Rhonda pulled Allison aside and told her that Brian still had feelings for her. This was a complete shock to her. Brian had told Rhonda that he felt strongly from the Lord that he wasn’t released from his responsibility to stay right where he was, even though Rhonda had made it clear that he had no hope and was barking up the wrong tree. That was surprising to Allison. She admired the way that Brian chose to follow God no matter what happened between them. He was obedient to the Lord, even when it seemed there was no way forward. That was the first shift for Allison…the first time she began to feel like maybe God did have something more in store for the two of them.

So Allison started praying a lot about it, asking God to clearly direct her steps.

Through many situations over the next months, God started helping Allison to see Brian's heart and how he might be a good match for her. Rhonda also started pointing out Brian's character qualities and the way the two of them shared the same goals/values/passions in life. She began to also see those things for herself, as she slowly opened up in conversations with him and wasn’t as standoffish as she had been during the summer.

And that's how it all started:

Brian, still pursuing Allison, by being himself and still praying for and staying right where God had him. Allison, starting to see more of Brian's character. Allison felt herself wanting to love and know Jesus more through being with Brian.

As Allison prayed about it, God started giving her small but very consistent confirmations. Eventually she came to feel that it would be okay, and even good to say “yes” to dating if Brian asked her. It took about a month and a half, but the Lord did a complete 180 in her heart to the idea of dating. God gave her the clarity to move forward. Jesus was indeed in the middle of this.

About a month before her sister Lydia's wedding, Brian got word from Scott and Rhonda that it would be okay to ask. Not the conversation he expected. Allison had come around to thinking that it might be okay if he asked, but it took Brian's heart a few weeks after receiving that message to come back around to the idea of it being okay, because he had resigned himself to the conclusion that it simply wasn’t possible to be anything more than friends.

During that time, as we continued our book study, Allison started hanging around a little longer while Brian was at their house (which happened frequently because her parents often asked for his help with outdoor projects). We also spent a three hour long kayak trip entirely talking together about churches and Jesus, leaving Allison’s family to paddle on a little ahead of us. In those weeks, our friendship blossomed and just began to reflect Jesus more and more.

At this point, Brian knew he had to ask - Allison was worth taking the risk of rejection...despite that he was still figuring there was maybe a 10% chance she actually said “yes.” He wanted to see what God might have for the two of them, and how God might grow them together. And, knowing he would be helping the Nagel family a lot before her sister Lydia's wedding, Brian resolved to ask Allison after the wedding.

The problem was, Allison was going to be leaving two days after the wedding for 9 days. So, Brian was trying to figure out some way to ask Allison out before she left. After a sweet conversation they had the night of the wedding, Brian’s mental calculations looked a bit more positive. He figured it was maybe 50-50 that Allison would say yes. It helped that he met some amazing people at the reception who asked, "what are you waiting for?" This felt like a complete blessing from God to get plans moving.

Late Monday night, after an evening together with her family and then a long one-on-one conversation where they talked through a lot of stuff for the teen bible study they would be running together, Brian asked. And Allison said “yes”!

We had 5 days of our first month dating in the same state, getting to spend that time getting to talk and set our priorities in dating. So we started being very intentional, desiring that no matter what happened we would grow closer to Jesus, help one another and communicate well throughout the process.

Somewhere in the first week, we started talking every day, and then praying for each other every morning. Allison started gushing about how amazing this relationship was and how it was drawing her closer to Jesus. As Allison put it "Hey, can we keep praying together every day?" And Brian's response was, "That was just my plan." Took a bit but it finally hit Brian that it was being intentional in praying together each day and talking through Scripture as Brian studied and wrote devotions. This was amazing to Brian, because that wasn't something that he was doing special, just being himself as he sought Jesus!

That's been a constant theme - praying through topics, events and issues...and God providing amazing solutions that surprise us. You should definitely ask us in person for some stories! We would love to share more!

God has been amazing to us in this relationship, using it to help us grow in knowing and experiencing God’s love for us more personally.

For many years, Brian struggled off and on with hopelessness. And we mean that in the sense that he did not have hope. He trusted Jesus to handle eternity, but not the issues of tomorrow. He felt as if he had to make all the right choices and make godly things happen in his own strength. Now though, through being in this relationship, Jesus has given Brian new hope and trained him to stand in that hope. The Father has used Allison a lot in that way, because she is so amazing in reflecting Jesus’ love to him.

Allison, for her part, has spent the greater portion of her life feeling like she needs to have it all put together, to be super spiritual, and super knowledgeable of the Bible. She would do a lot of amazing things for the Lord, but on the inside it felt superficial and disingenuous, although she didn’t know how to fix that. She served the Lord much, but often it was done in her own strength. She stuffed down her feelings, thinking that was more spiritual. Allison did so much to look good, but never enjoyed the freedom and abundant life that Jesus actually wants us to have. Even before they entered a relationship, God used Brian to help her feel His immense and unconditional love for her. Now that they’ve been dating and are now engaged, God continues to use Brian as His hands and feet, inviting her to share her heart and receive acceptance. She knows His love so much more deeply now because of Brian.

We never thought a relationship would be like this....that it could be this good. Putting Jesus first and seeking to follow Him together as a couple has richly blessed our lives. The Father loves to reward those who diligently seek Him, and He has rewarded us with getting to see and experience more of His heart as we have walked together with one another. Jesus is so good, so kind, so gentle, and so patient.

The Lord knew what we needed–to be walking through this life with Jesus together. He has kept providing answers to prayer. Jesus has confirmed in so many ways that He is in this relationship and that it isn’t just our own crazy idea. Things about our personality which we figured would annoy people, are actually a blessing to the other person. We have many of the same hobbies and passions. We work so well together, even in the middle of difficult situations. God has given us the grace and the desire to keep walking together to work it out and not fight each other but work together to figure out the best way forward!

This process of learning to walk well together has exposed our sin, revealed our desperate need for God and driven us closer to Him. And in this, we get to reflect God to each other and get to see God's goodness over and over and over again! His design is so good.

Although Psalm 118:23 wasn’t written about our love story, we definitely think it captures our sentiment very well: "This is from Yahweh; It is marvelous in our eyes."