What can be said about it? Well, if I had it my way, this would be more like a master's dissertation, but I will try to do it justice without the need for multiple pages and a bookmark.

Our love story begins like so many others from our generation: the dreaded dating app, and in the groom's case, a poke from his mother to put himself back out into the dating pool. Kyle had just moved to the city with his longtime best friend and roommate and quickly learned that it was just suburban women who didn’t want to give him the time of day, but city girls liked the cut of his jib. It was a fleeting moment, and much to his chagrin, he really thought he was going to live that bachelor lifestyle. That's where the story, my dear reader, has what’s known as a plot twist.

Enter Bridget from stage left, still a bit reeling from the calamity of the lost year of our Lord and savior Harambe—2020. The turmoil that was social distancing was hard on us all but If you know anything about Bridget's side of the family, you would know that this family loves each other so much that they actually choose to live within spitting distance of each other and do not need an excuse to get together and then show anyone in shouting distance just how much they love each other. In that spirit, and saving some time, they are very close, and Kyle finally stopped being suspicious of it sometime between save-the-dates and the actual invitations being mailed.

Please forgive my small diatribe, my intrepid reader, but soldier on; this is where it starts getting good. We return to our main characters after the awkward Bumble match texting those time tested ice breakers like “are you a serial killer because you wear socks to bed?” and “are you vaccinated?”

That reminds me—how often do you need a tetanus booster shot? This narrator has no idea and with a story to tell; Google will have to keep its secrets for now.

Okay, no more messing around; here’s the good part: they agreed to meet at Miku for sushi dinner in Lincoln Square, not far from Bridget's old apartment. Kyle showed up early, Bridget only a couple of minutes late, so not bad for her! The conversation came so easily, the laughs rising like a crescendo as if to put punctuation on their good time for all to see and collectively roll their eyes. Yea so did I mention that those two are loud; they even synchronize snoring that could rattle windows and shake walls together, a jet engine is only a little louder in comparison.

Anyway, dinner led to a nightcap and a first kiss that closer resembles a stroke or coronary than smooth or charming. Kyle, in a nearly identical showing of charisma that resembled more of his sixth-grade prowess with the ladies, proceeded to lean in, stutter something, until Bridget threw the poor dope a bone with a smile that can and has stopped traffic—and maybe even time itself—and said, “Oh, just do it already!”

Kyle planted one on her that still goes down in history as one of the most romantic kisses of all time, just behind Princess Buttercup and Wesley.

We now fast forward to Halloween 2023. Bridget and Kyle move in together, thanks to a patient, steadfast coaxing from Bridget. Kyle took the plunge in two ways: he leaped into uncertainty, and somehow Bridget caught him. After a week of living together, Kyle knew that she was the one. He should have started saving for a ring right at that moment, but finances are hard—cut the guy some slack; he still landed the woman of his dreams.

We time travel a year into the future again, almost to the day Kyle pops the question and plans the best surprise—well, not even really a surprise party—that never had a chance at catching Bridget by surprise, but she was a really good sport.

Oh, I almost forgot: did you know that they adopted a dog? His name is Dansby, and he is just the best Pittipotamus that ever did Potomus. He also goes by the moniker Wiggle Butts when he is excited to greet, well, really anyone with a relative body temperature of around 98.6.

Anyhoozle, those two crazy kids have been field-tested through some adversity as of recent history: fire, moving, death, disease—if there were frogs, this would be something out of the Old Testament. Through it all, they find a way to belly laugh, communicate, and just plain ol' love on each other in a way reminiscent of something spiritual. They love each other already through all the regular ways usually reserved for weddings, do you? Sickness and health? For better or worse? And so forth. They are just beginning to write their love story; this is just the opening act, and beloved reader, I can’t wait to see the rest of the story unfold, but damn, this might have needed an intermission. Bridget and Kyle are glad that you chose to sit with us on the biggest day of their lives. They all then lived happily ever after. The End.

B&K

Wedding Day

4:00 PM–4:30 PM

Ceremony

6:00 PM–12:00 AM

Reception