Where to begin... This story has always been a point of disagreeance between Ryan and I because we have two different opinions about what was our first date.

The day we met, Ryan was invited to my college ministry's Qdoba Monday lunch. It was any normal Monday outing for me. I was the first one there, waiting in line, when JohnMark walked in with his friend I hadn't met before. He introduced Ryan, and we went on our merry way through the food line and sat down. Ryan sat next to me in a booth, across from JM. I didn't think anything unusual about it. We all ate and had great conversation between the three of us. We asked the usual, "What do you do? Where do you go to school? Where are you from?", questions. I really wasn't familiar with the things Ryan was taking a break from that summer, I smiled and nodded and had many follow-up questions.

Something different about Ryan was that he always asked questions back. I have noticed through my time with him, he doesn't do that to just me, but anyone he has conversations with. He's great at making people feel heard and what they have to say is important.

Throughout our meal a few more people arrived, distracting JM away from Ryan and I's conversation, allowing ourselves to get to know each other a little bit better. As lunch was ending, I decided I wanted to go try the new ice cream place across the parking lot. When I announced this, no one else was too keen on joining me. I was convinced Ryan agreed out of feeling sorry for me. I thought, cool! My new friend is coming and now I don't have to go alone. I really didn't think much else from it.

We left and walked across. I awkwardly ran ahead, avoiding any small talk. I opened the shop door and Ryan caught it, ushering me in, ever subtly with his arm on my back. Hm.. Weird. He's probably just nice. I tried to order and pay, but Ryan wouldn't have it. He paid for me. I thought, okay, he's nice. I've had other guy friends pay for things before. Man, was I oblivious. We sat down, and talked about a lot of everything. It had been a long time since I chatted with someone who saw people and places the way I do.

An hour and a half later, we needed to get going. We stood up, Ryan lingered. So I did too. I reminded him about the Bible study Tuesday night. Then he asked me if I had a phone (smooth ;)). Obviously I said yes, and then asked him if he was wanting my number. He said he wanted to do this again some time. I gave it to him and we walked out.

I had a lot of emotions that day. I was shocked! Excited! Terrified. And nervous. What had I just agreed to?

Soooo... Later that day Ryan text me. I wasn't ready. Nuh-uh. I had just passed my NCLEX and was about to start my big girl RN job. I wanted to focus on me, Jesus, and the people He put in my life. Not long ago I had prayed a fervent and desperate prayer to God. "Lord, I am tired and lonely, but done with heartbreak. I will wait as long as I need to for 'The One'. I'll keep my eyes on you until then. I don't want to accept anything less for myself." Ahem. Little did I know He had plans to expedite this "waiting".

I kind of blew him off that night. Trying to avoid this man who was vying for my attention and time. The Devil was trying to distract me, I was convinced! The next day, at the Bible study, I was SO rude to Ryan. I ignored and avoided him at all costs. We all played a game after the study, I learned a lot about him. I was definitely curious. But no, I did not need to go there! I tried to mind my own business and move on. That week, Ryan asked me on a couple different engagements, and I turned him down. I was a busy girl, I already (conveniently) had plans!

A week later, I went to a coffee shop in Edmond with two of my friends. Do you know how many coffee shops there are in Edmond? A LOT. On my drive there, I get a text. "Ryan is here." PUMP THE BRAKES. What?? Ugh. Well I was already committed to this, no turning back. As soon as I opened the door, I did a sweep. There he was in the back, WITH A GIRL. How dare he!! Wait, why do I care anyway? Omg. I care!! No!! I was so antsy and awkward the whole time. And mad--but he didn't owe me anything. I'm the one who avoided him.

Needless to say, I did a lot of praying during that time. I asked God for immense clarity. What was going on here? Later that night I added him on Facebook and texted him. I tried to get him to ask me out for coffee (not my finest moment). He didn't. Haha.

Eventually he agreed to boba at 5:16pm. Who sets things up not at the normal 15 minute increments? Since we only agreed to one thing, I had other plans scheduled for afterward in case I needed an out. Ever since I walked into Cafe de Taipei, something felt different. Our conversation was great, and I think he tried to impress me by talking to the employees with some Chinese. It kinda worked. :) As time rolled around for me to go to my next thing, I told my friends I wouldn't be coming. I think Ryan could sense my nervousness. Oh my, why was I nervous? I don't think either of us were ready for the date to end, we decided to go get dinner.

Dinner turned into a walk in a park or two, and I was still very intimidated by the way he pursued me and obviously was into me. Things were tense for a moment when I asked him what his intentions with me were. I mean, he was leaving to go back to New York in two weeks! What was the point of this? He told me he noticed me and wanted to get to know me more, see where things go. I was skeptical. As we walked by to the car, I was MORTIFIED. Brooke, you're an idiot. Can a great gentleman who you enjoy talking to not like you? I began to panic that I had probably just ruined an opportunity for something great. We decided to go get drinks at Sonic. I had a stern talking to myself, don't mess this up, talk to him and quit being weird.

While getting gas, a spider crawled across the dashboard and Ryan just killed it with his bare hands! I was dazzled by his fearlessness and confidence. *I am terrified of spiders*. Sometimes I tease him that had he started off that way, I probably would have not have avoided him so much.

We get to Sonic, and I try to relax. It felt so casual and normal. By that point we were just two friends sitting on a nasty bench, talking about hobbies and dreams. It was good. It was different. I think Ryan felt it too. I began thinking, as if I hadn't done enough of it that night, and I came to realize that I think I want to give this a chance. We talked about everything, except that he was leaving in several days.

It didn't take us long. We talked all the time and took what time we could to see each other, which wasn't much. Ryan took me on a date the night after he got back from his family vacation. We talked about what our relationship, what even were we?, would look like when he goes back to school. And he asked me if I would be his girlfriend. Since then, I let myself fall fearlessly in love. There was no time to waste!

While Ryan was at BEAST as a cadre, I thought about him constantly. He gave me so much time when he could. Probably more than he should have! We were smitten. I couldn't wait to tell him about my day and to hear about his. He made me laugh and feel so important, even from 1,500 miles away as a video call. Toward the end of the summer, before school started for him, we made plans for me to go up and see him on a three day weekend.

I began to become nervous again. Would things be the same as we left them? What if we fizzled? What if I'm stuck in New York with someone I don't like anymore? I was anxious people. I am definitely the pessimist of the relationship. God bless Ryan.

ALL of these worries were thrown out the window when Ryan snuck up behind me, "Hello there miss." This moment could have only been in a movie. I turned around and there he was, in his ACUs lookin' very handsome. He swept me up in his arms. Why was I so worried? Every anxiety melted away, and so did I. He's had me ever since then.

That night after the football game, he told me he loved me. With a rampage of butterflies, I said it back. Ryan would be the first and last man I would ever say those words to in that way.