Hi, I’m Maggie. I have short legs, a big personality, and somehow, I’m not the center of this wedding… but I’ll allow it.

Let me tell you how these two weirdos—Roman and Caroline—ended up together.

It all started on an app called Hinge. I wasn’t there for that part, obviously, but from what I hear, Roman made the first move. Classic. Their first date? Not a bar. Not a movie. Nope—they went to a church. They sat there silently praying… probably for the strength to survive the awkward first-date energy.

Then they got ice cream. Roman is lactose intolerant. I don’t know what that means, but apparently it was brave and reckless.

Anyway, at the end of the night, Roman was like, “I had a great time, let’s do this again.” Caroline said, “We’ll see.”

Iconic. Respect.

But they kept hanging out. A lot. Eventually, Caroline made it official (took her long enough), and not too long after that… they made their best decision yet:

Me.

Adopted. Spoiled. Loved. The real glue of the relationship.

Now I go on walks, beg for food, and bark at nothing while they binge Top Chef.

And then—on a hike in Valley Forge—Roman got down on one knee (I thought he dropped something), and proposed.

Caroline said yes (better than "we'll see"). I wagged my tail approvingly.

So here we are. They’re getting married. I’ll be there, obviously. Probably looking better than both of them.

And that’s our story.

Maggie out.

Wedding Party