John first found me on a website called myyearbook.com. He thought I was absolutely gorgeous and he wanted to know me so he sent me a message. Little did he know, I had just stopped using that website recently. Less than a week later, he found my band page on Myspace. Yes, this was back in 2009 when Myspace was still a thing. Facebook was just starting. I didn’t have a Facebook page yet. He stalked my page for a while listening to my songs on repeat and falling in love with my voice. Eventually he got up the nerve to send me another message not thinking that someone as beautiful as me would actually respond. (His words not mine) He was pleasantly surprised when I messaged him back. After a few days of messaging back and forth, we realized we had a lot of things in common like music, martial arts, World of Warcraft, comic books, a love of Jack Black movies and video games. We eventually decided to communicate through Skype on webcam while we watched movies together like Tenacious D and the pick of Destiny or while we played World of Warcraft together. He became my much needed Druidic healer which was very handy because I had an affinity for poking giants. He saved my ass on a nightly basis. Within months he became my best friend and I began realizing that the highlight of my day was when I got to see and talk to him and I was rushing through my day just to get home and log on to Skype to start our nightly conversation.

But he didn’t know how dark of a past I really had. After a series of traumatic experiences and abusive relationships, I didn’t have the ability to be completely open with someone and I knew that he was a good man. A rarity in my experience. He was too good. I found myself falling in love with him, more deeply than I had for anyone else and we had never even met in person. Because we spent every night talking but never physically met, we got to know each other on a deeper level and I knew about 6 months into our friendship that he was my soulmate. That should have brought me comfort but it only terrified me. With everything that I had been through, I had convinced myself that every single bad thing that ever happened to me, I had deserved it all and that I didn’t deserve him. I put him on a pedestal and ran like hell. Soon after that, I married a good friend of mine. I had known him for 11 years. He was always a nice guy to everyone so I thought I was safe. I made a monumental mistake when I married him. I was young and scared and stupid. After we divorced, I tried to find John again online only Myspace wasn’t very popular anymore. Now it was Facebook. I made a profile in the hopes that I would eventually find him again like he had previously found me. To my discontent, I could not. I dated someone about a year later and one after that and married him. Finally a guy I thought was decent like John. But no man on Earth was like John. Almost 3 years into my second marriage, I was miserable. I discovered that the man that I married had a lot of dark secrets and I was once again in an abusive relationship but this time I had a daughter. Then one day I got a friend request on Facebook from John Lowe along with a message. I couldn’t believe it. He had found me. He had been through a lot too during our time apart. He had been with someone for 5 years and had just ended things. He was also an amazing father to two wonderful children. I was so impressed with how much he had grown up since 2010 when we had last spoken. It was now almost 2016. I couldn’t believe that he found me, especially under my married name. We quickly made our conversations a regular thing and reformed our band. We sent each other musical tracks back and forth. He would send me his guitar parts and I would write lyrics and record my vocals and send it back. Over the years, he was there for me through everything. The few good things and for all the bad things. We got each other through bouts of depression and anxiety. We played video games together and wrote music. We talked about life and our dreams. We often played games with my husband. My husband knew that I had loved John when I was a teenager and that I got scared and ran and respected our relationship especially since nothing ever happened and John never made a move on me. John was my best friend and just an all around good guy. He had no idea what was really going on between my husband and me. But after spending 10 years in a failed marriage and two children that deserved better, I finally got the courage to divorce him and tell John how I really felt. Before I could get the words out, John told me that he loves me and always has. I couldn’t believe it. The man of my dreams, the man that I measured all other men against, my soulmate loved me back.


John and I started dating on Tuesday, February 22, 2022. A day known as “Twosday”. From the very beginning everything felt right. We got closer every day. I drove up to meet him for the first time in person in May. I had never been so nervous. We shared our first kiss that day and I finally got to hold him for the first time in the 13 years that I had known him. It was an amazing feeling. I rented a hotel room for the night so we could sleep next to each other. It was an 8 hour drive round trip and I preferred to drive back rested. That night was the night I felt safe for the first time in my life. I was overwhelmed by this calming sensation. I didn’t know what it was for a while but I was actually able to sleep peacefully for the first time ever. The next morning, I woke up to the most gorgeous face I had ever seen. We spent half the day together. We went for a walk and ate Chinese food picnic style in the park. We walked in the woods down some hiking trails. He showed me around Ames. I knew that I wanted to move my kids and I there. There were so many better opportunities in Ames and much better schools. My kids deserved that life. At this point their dad and I were getting divorced and he wasn’t helping out with the kids or coming to visit them anyway so I made arrangements to move up to Ames. We got an apartment in a good part of town near a lot of different places my kids love. We were lucky enough to get an apartment right across the street from where John was living with his brother taking care of their mom who had suffered a stroke. We moved in on August 1st. By that time we had been dating for 6 months and things were going great. My divorce was finalized in June. In February of the next year (2023), before our one year anniversary, He asked me to marry him and of course I said yes. I couldn’t imagine living life without him. He’s been my one good constant since I was 19 years old. Now I’m 33 and he’s 36. We’ve been together for a year and a half and best friends for over 14 years. We’re raising our children together. They already act like siblings and even though it’s sometimes an adjustment dealing with 4 kids instead of two, I love them all. We’re a family. Because of John, our apartment feels like home. Pandora, my daughter agrees that this apartment is the first place that has ever felt like home. My kids love John and can’t wait to be able to call him “Dad”. It’s been an adventure being with John and I look forward to many more adventures with him and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him.