The Tea Ceremony of the Korean Traditional Marriage

Paebaek is a ceremony steeped in Korean tradition where the groom’s family formally accepts the bride into their home. Historically in Korea, the bride would move in with her in-laws; the ceremony symbolized the bride's paying respects to the groom’s family.

Modern versions of the paebaek have given equal footing to the bride’s parents, fully including them in the ceremony historically only reserved for the groom’s parents and the couple. Recently, the ceremony is often performed alongside a traditional Western wedding.

First, the couple will bow to both sets of parents. Next, they will serve ceremonial tea to the parents; after drinking, the parents will offer words of wisdom, marriage advice, and blessings. The couple will also bow to immediate family elders (in our case, Cathleen’s married siblings and a Korean aunt and uncle). Finally, the parents will toss jujubes and chestnuts into a ceremonial cloth held by the couple, symbolizing the number and gender of future children—chestnuts for daughters and jujubes (dates) for sons. During this ritual the couple will each hold a single jujube in their mouth and bite it in half; whoever finds the seed in their bite is said to "hold the power" in the relationship. We hope you can join us for this meaningful ceremony during the rehearsal dinner and maybe learn something new about Korean culture.