Hey friends, it’s Mindy. Cayce asked that this be one of 3 things on my list, so it’s MY version of our story now. *villainous laughter*.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

I’m kidding. Although, I did meet Cayce eight years ago. Y'all ready for some literal girl-meets-girl-on-AA-campus magic? Alright then, let's go.

Cayce bounced straight up to me in 2016, after a Central meeting I was fighting to stay sober for. She smiled up at me with long lashes, two huge gold hoops, told me I was gorgeous, hopped on a Willow bus, and then rode off into the sunset…back to a facility. It happened in one fell swoop: a beautiful little ghetto tornado blew right over me. I smiled. I felt her. And then went back to the chaos I was living in.

We wouldn’t meet again until months later. I was probably a month sober and trying to find the middle. A Willow sister asked if I could drop her off at Cayce’s Oxford house in the middle of the night for an e-bed. I found out Cayce was now “President” of said house and felt this was clearly, a wonderful move for my future. *This* was fishing with aim. I messaged her the next day to “check on my friend” and immediately invited her to do anything with me. Yes, painfully predictable and uncool. But alas, it reeled her right in.

The first time we hung out, life seemed to pause while time simultaneously, flew by. I came over just to do the awkward introductory. Instead. Captivated and frozen. We talked and laughed on a porch for hours, as night turned to day.

There was an energy I can’t explain. I think that feeling was the tear in the atmosphere of Spirit rearranging things, just enough, for something that was meant to be...to softly land. Of course, neither of us had a clue what we were really doing: throwing sparks on a fire that neither could even yet comprehend how to tend or to tame.

At some point the next day she paused, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “You’re going to be my girlfriend and we are going to be together for a while.”

“Oh really, you think so? Just a while?”, I laughed.

“Yeah, can’t you feel it," she said. "At least a couple of years.”

That’s right my friends, this was not some pretty little made for Disney rom-com. We did not meet at an apex of life. We met from messy, hollowed out, bottoms. We were just two lost little souls colliding. Looking for distraction. Grasping. At a time when everything was frightening, fresh, and insane.

What a silly little place to start from, right? And yet. Even from there. Something far greater than us was sewing something deep in the fabric of our stories that neither of us would be able to out run or contain.

I got something far more exciting than a Disney princess, predictable and sweet. Yep, a little tornado swept me off my feet. This love story, is one of beautifully-messy irony. Amidst total devastation, from a place where nothing seems to stick: real and lasting magic can still be planted and if nurtured, grow into life embellishing. Trajectory adapting. Love.

----Now, I know that little intro may give you the wrong idea, but let me be clear about something: I actually do not believe in love at first sight.----

I mean I used to. Because I needed it to be easy, so badly. But, I read once, that there is no such thing as love at first sight. There is only lust at first sight and love of the “idea” of what you think this person may be. It said that real love can’t happen until later, until you actually know the person, and then: choose them. That reverberated with me as a real and frightening truth.

I had never experienced what I would get to experience with Cayce because I had really only ever chosen me. I would stay until things didn't go my way, and then leave. What happens when you stay, when you choose to keep dancing life with someone?

Countless painful unbecoming’s. Life altering highs. First time experiences. Watching children play, grow, change. Adventure. Railing emotions. Invention of traditions. Laughter. Rage. Levity. Towering fears. Shattering losses. Through tasting and sharing the bittersweet nectar of life, I keep getting a more beautiful view of this being. Deep understanding happens, vision alters, and you get tasked with change.

I’ve gotten to know the storms that shaped her. The light that lives inside her. The softness that hides beneath her strength. The beauty that reverberates from beneath.

I’ve gotten to see her be a mother. I’ve seen her walk through grief. I’ve seen her heart break. I’ve seen her inner child come alive in her pranks. I’ve seen her sit with countless women and offer her time, her heart. I’ve seen her stand back up from life’s punches. And each time, I’ve seen her do it on her own volition, leaning on something far greater than me. I have seen her fight when no one was fighting for her, or asking her to. I’ve seen her fight for her girls, for her family, for me, for friends, for others, for life. My little fighter girl.

She’s held my face and told me what I wasn’t going to do, when I’ve spiraled. She’s never tried to fix my flailing and made space for me to walk through my growing pains. She never left my side as my heart shattered, when I lost my mother. She’s helped softly scoop up the pieces, never asked me to get over them, and let me learn where to place them - or let me cling to them too long. She’s grabbed my hands when I’ve been lost in anger and started praying things I didn’t know my spirit needed, to want and to hear. She’s sought on her own. She's sought with me. We have been learning and changing by inviting Spirit into the whole thing.

Yes…I profoundly believe that love happens later. Love happens, after. I can’t tell you how grateful I am that spirit allowed this person, to be the one I danced for distraction with. That spirit allowed this, to be the person I would learn to choose over me. I would never have been able to tell you what it feels like to love her today, before I walked through the countless moments that have allowed me to see her as I do now. And I promise you, as I write this, she captivates me.

She has been partner, mirror, shelter, and fire.

We have grown up and towards each other for eight years now. Following a steady drumbeat that outlasts the chatter of fear. It is quieter than it had to be in the beginning. But. It is stronger, too.

And now, six months from saying our vows out loud:

We have already been doing this thing.

Choosing each other.

Practicing marriage.

Learning how to return.

I am not choosing Cayce because of a spark from eight years ago.

I am choosing her because of every ordinary Tuesday since.

Because of who she is when no one is watching.

Because of who we are when life is loud.

Because Spirit aligned our timing — and taught us how to stay.

This was the greatest decision of my life, one I had already been making.

She is my partner.

She is my home.

She is the one I got to choose.

She is the one I get to keep choosing.

Now...I just get to loudly choose her in front of our people, with a show and a ring.

**Here's to you, you magical, untamable, being.**