08.20.2016 - New Places, New Faces

T - Orange, brown, and white hues. Loud jazz music. Unknown faces. Nervousness and smiles. I was walking into a gymnasium in Tulsa, Oklahoma after just moving for graduate school. This was supposed to be where the Lindy Hoppers danced and, after moving to a completely new city, I was eager to fit in. After all, swing dancing (Lindy Hop) was my community and I was excited (and so nervous) to make the most of it.

I was SO nervous. Everyone was incredibly friendly. I’ve made it a point in my life to practice smiling when I’m nervous. Needless to say, I was smiling a LOT and my cheeks were burning. Thankfully, there were lots of dances, with so many new, friendly faces but one stood out: bright smile, warmth and excitement, joy, flashes of red hair. I figured out that her name was Constance.

I’d spend the next 4 months seeing her joy, her warmth, her excitement, her goofiness, her passions.

C - It was a normal Saturday night at TOSS. I was excited to see my friends and dance my feet off but when I went inside I was met with a, “hey, there’s a new lead here!” by our friend Renee. I’m not normally someone who just jumps up to introduce myself to a complete stranger, but that night I did. I ran right up to this man who was standing in the middle of the dance floor and asked him to dance. The first thing I noticed about Tyler was his kind face. He had the most beautiful eyes, wonderful laugh and perfect smile which never left his face. Turns out, he was absolutely terrified and I thought he was having a great time. We became friends instantly and Tyler fit right into our dance group like a glove.

1.20.17 - Taking a Chance

T - She was expected to compete in her first strictly Lindy Hop competition, but her partner didn’t work out. This was my chance! Of course, I enjoyed the idea of competing and testing my skills in the dance I loved… of course, I loved the idea of spending time with her even more.

C - After working up a lot of courage I convinced my friend Ryan to be my dance partner for what would be our first dance competition but life got in the way and he had to bow out. Enter Tyler. Tyler was my friend and a really good dancer and I had a huge crush. HUGE crush. So, I asked if he would be interested in being my dance partner for an event in Des Moines, Iowa and to my surprise he immediately agreed.

04.07.2017 - The Competition

T - I finally worked up the courage to ask Constance out (hiding my sheer nervousness, of course). I don’t think there was a clear answer but I knew that I really loved spending time with her. There were other things to think about though, like the impending competition that we’d spent MONTHS preparing for. We drove all night, crashed into a deer, danced our hearts out, won first place, totaled the car, made new friends, celebrated old friends, and had a blast every step of the way. It was hilarious, chaotic, and I loved every minute. These themes would keep showing up for the next 3 years.

C - We practiced at least once a week leading up to the competition and I knew two things very well. I really liked Tyler and he was a phenomenal dancer. The day we left to drive up I went to his apartment to do laundry, but mostly to hang out and Tyler finally asked me out to which I replied, “I’d like to think about it.”

The weekend was great! We hit a deer, totaled Tyler’s car, won our competition, limped our way back home with the help of our friend Kasey who drove all the way up to Iowa to pick us up and it’s still one of our favorite stories. Also, around this time, we started dating!

03.15.20 - The Pandemic

T - The pandemic was… the pandemic. Everything felt weird around this time. The only thing that didn’t feel weird was us hanging out with our pandemic pod. We mostly hung out around the house, watched trash TV, made crepes, played mario kart, and learned how to longboard. Because we were spending a lot of time together, this also inadvertently turned into a pseudo-living together scenario. The pandemic was horrible in a lot of different ways. It was also when, suddenly, the world felt a whole lot smaller with Constance and I in the center. Turns out, I loved that feeling.

C - The pandemic hit everyone in different ways, but I think it brought us closer together. Together with our little pod we met at least twice a week, played video games( I tried my hardest to figure it out), ate a lot, and spent copious amounts of time outside discovering the new hobby of longboarding. The pandemic was brutal, but I had honestly never been happier because I was spending almost twice the normal amount with Tyler as I had been before. He was either at my place or I was at his and I loved every minute with this amazing man.

06.13.20 - Moving to Seattle

T - I always knew that my time in Tulsa would be temporary. Grad school felt overwhelmingly fast and slow at the same time. Suddenly, I was in the last phase of my graduate program: a one-year internship in Seattle. It seemed like it was time to move in the blink of an eye and Constance and I would have to face a pretty tough choice: long-distance or making the move with me. This is where our decision-making preferences were most evident: me, a methodical planner with pros and cons properly weighed with backup plans, Constance, talking with Michelle. The scariest part: how to respectfully talk to Constance’s parents about our decision to move in together, if we decided to. Of course, that would be something that we would have plenty of time to practice and plan out..

C - Tyler and I hadn’t fully decided on whether I would go with him to Seattle or not, but I impulsively decided that if I was going to spill the news to my parents, I'd better do it now. Our friend Michelle coached me on the questions that might come up, how to precisely articulate my feelings, and remind them I love them at the same time.. I was so scared that I made Michelle drive over with me at 9:00 pm and sit in the car like a getaway driver in case things went sideways! I called Tyler immediately after and let him know what I did. Was doing it that way a mistake? Maybe. Am I still proud of myself? Yes. Did Tyler have to go smooth things over with them? Also yes.

Long story short, with the help of Michelle, we sold some stuff and crammed everything else in a U-Haul and Tyler’s car, moved everything we could carry, along with Charlie and Raven (our dog and cat who had never really been around each other), and started out on a three day journey from Tulsa to Seattle. Tyler’s car broke down (this is becoming a thing) but we still made it! I know for me, moving in with Tyler was just like putting one foot in front of the other and felt like the most natural thing in the world.

05.07.23 - The Big Ask (and keeping a great, big secret)

T - This was it! What HASN’T been mentioned yet is how intentional and clear Constance and I had been before this moment on whether we were “messin’ around” or actually could see our lives together. On our first date, we even had a hard conversation about kids. In moving to Seattle, I knew the following: 1) Constance wanted to be engaged sometime soon (me too, of course!), 2) that she wanted it to be a surprise, 3) that it should probably be a private event, and 4) we would definitely want to celebrate with her family afterward. With those things, I knew it was gonna be tough planning everything and keeping it a secret; ESPECIALLY since my reflex is to ask Constance what she prefers and how she might approach things…

Thankfully, I had the support of our dear friend Michelle (who was there in spirit!), Olivia (the “twin”), Rachel, and Meg (can I say “Constance’s favorite cousins” here?). They definitely played a HUGE role in the plan, the arrangements, the setup, and the big moment. Also, at some point, mostly everyone in Constance’s family knew except for her, which was a large source of anxiety. The final step was getting her to Tulsa somehow…

C - We were coming up on five years dating and seven years of knowing each other and half of a beautiful year in Seattle becoming more acquainted with our city and living with each other. Tyler had finished his dissertation, and was finally graduating with his Doctorate of Clinical Psychology from the University of Tulsa and we planned to make the trip back to Tulsa for his graduation ceremony. Have I mentioned how proud I am of Tyler? He is one of the most hard working people I know, and anything that he sets his mind toward he completes.

We get to Tulsa and a whirlwind ensues of planning a graduation party for Tyler, meeting with the ladies of the family to get our nails done, taking my mom out for a mother’s day lunch, and going to a nice dinner with Tyler’s professor that evening.

In the middle of this crazy day, Tyler suggests that we go to the Tulsa Botanical Gardens pre dinner because his mom wanted to do something special as a graduation present and bought us tickets. I was completely exhausted and didn’t really want to go but he insisted that I dress up for this excursion so we could take graduation pics.

Fast forward to us wandering around a large garden of dead/dying plants, I was so focused on finding a good spot to take photos that I barely noticed the intense amount of sweat pouring off of Tyler and chalked it up to the heat. We came up to a little bend in the path and I heard music. I thought that it was another party and didn’t want to disturb them but also wanted to take a peek. There was a Ben Rector song playing, one that Tyler and I both love, so I was even more intrigued. We nearly turned around because I was certain that we had stumbled onto someone’s romantic picnic but when I took a step closer to see the pictures on the ground I realized that they were of us. My heart felt like it completely stopped. I wanted it to be a proposal spot, but didn’t want to be disappointed so I told myself it was just the most romantic thing he had ever done and it was okay if he didn’t ask me to marry him right there but when I turned around he was down on one knee proposing and the rest is history. It was the easiest yes I have ever said.

Tyler had worked for months with my sister and cousins to get this together and it worked out beautifully. Did I mention that he didn’t even go to his own graduation? This entire time I was planning out his graduation party, it was really an engagement party for the both of us. Sneaky guy.

Where We Are Now

C&T - Fast forward 9 months and… well, we moved again! This time to Nashville, TN for Tyler to finish his post doctorate and Constance is pursuing a career in radiology! We are in full wedding planning mode now and are so happy to be able to share our beautiful day with you filled with all of the love we have for each other and our family and friends. We’re not quite sure where we’ll end up next BUT we’re so excited to share this next chapter with you. Thank you for letting us share a part of our story with you (and for reading this far!) See you on the big day :)

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