If you can barley stand beer puns, do not read below. Otherwise here we gose:

Back in 1995, Cory, a long time camper turned counselor and Jeremy, a single summer camper, went to magic camp. Did sparks fly? Was it magic? Alas, it was a hoptical illusion as the two never met that summer. However, little did we know a relationship would be brewing.

Jeremy searched for the characteristics of his beerly beloved mate: magic, the television show LOST, and an infectious sense of humor. The internet responded, "Cory!" Jeremy added Cory to his shopping cart and checked out.

Jeremy invited Cory to meet at his favorite place for cocktails, Death and Company, in the East Village. A dedicated Upper West Sider, Cory preferred to meet in her neighborhood, where she goaded Jeremy into ordering a blue drink to save her from the embarrassment of being the only one with blue lips. It was fer-meant to be.

For their third anniversary, Jeremy presented Cory with what appeared to be a pair of custom black sneakers he had commissioned for her (matching his own pair, thus transforming them into one of "those couples"). Little did Cory know that this gift would cause a brewhaha that would end in their matrimoni-ale. When Cory opened the gift, she was surprised to discover an engagement ring attached to the sneakers.

Jeremy then revealed his plan to take Cory ugly Christmas sweater shopping to attend The New York City Ugly Christmas Sweater Pub Crawl that evening. In a fortuitous turn, Cory gave Jeremy an early Hanukkah present of an ugly Christmas sweater and they toasted their nuptu-ales in style.

The hoppy couple now begins a new chapter...