Our Story

Several years ago, Brian was working on the foundation for a new convenience store. It was actually just a new location for an existing chain of convenience stores, but that’s really not the point. If you want the store’s story, go to their website.

But as our story begins, Brian was the first to arrive at the jobsite this particular morning. He wasn’t in any real hurry to get started, so he pulled out his mobile phone and scrolled through memes while he waited for the rest of the crew to arrive. He was staring at his phone, lazily pacing the worksite, when he fell into a hole in the very fabric of reality.

How far he fell, he couldn’t say. Perhaps, no one could say? It’s not as though the study of interdimensional gateways receives an excess of funding. More often than not, requests for funding are discarded outright as being absurd. And even when a state budget allocates a small amount for said study, those funds are notoriously misappropriated.

Regardless, Brian fell for what seemed a very, very long time. As a grassy field came into view, he grew concerned about the speed with which he was plummeting, but as luck would have it, a strong updraft managed to slow his descent enough that he landed hard, though free from injury. He brushed off his pants, thankful for the Deus ex Machina, when he realized he had thanked his lucky stars just a bit prematurely. A gigantic serpent towered above him with malice in its eyes.

Now, when I say gigantic, you may be picturing something more than two-stories tall, roughly analogous to a creature from a Jurassic Park movie: You’d be correct to do so. This monster was so huge, that Brian briefly entertained the idea that he would be too small to be worth this creature’s time. Unfortunately, this was not the case. The massive serpent craned its head towards Brian; its fangs dripped venom as its probing tongue flicked toward him. There was no point running and Brian knew it. He lifted his head high, prepared to die with dignity, when a fearsome cry rang out.

Brian looked up to see what he thought was a goddess, terrifying in her beauty and magnificent in her rage. She flew down from the heavens, the light reflecting off the blade of the broadsword held behind her head. Her hair flowing majestically behind her, she swung her mighty sword and struck true. The snake’s head was cleaved clean off and the monstrosity fell away from them as she landed on the ground before him.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hi,” he replied before adding “You took that bastard’s head clean off.”

“Fucking A right I did,” she replied with a pfft.

Brian explained that he was new to this world and didn’t know where to go. Courtney shrugged and took him to her castle. Before long, the two of them became inseparable. Brian eventually discovered that Courtney not only hailed from the same world as him but had only fallen into this one a day earlier, despite having seemingly been in this new world for a matter of years.

They ruled together as King and Queen. For months they bounced from one adventure to the next. There was always something: vampire hordes, dark sorcerers, assembling furniture which should have been simple (but always seemed to be missing a piece), drunken robo-pirates, and even more leviathan class snakes. The two were beloved by their subjects, but they came to miss things like Netflix and central air and crispy chicken sandwiches. Courtney consulted the wizards’ council and was able to locate a suitable portal back home, one which returned them to their original place and time. She hung up her sword, abdicated her throne, and the two of them set off, hand in hand.

Together they returned to our world and prepared for their greatest adventure yet: Building a life where they would grow old together surrounded by sunflowers.

Written By: Lawrence Lueckar

(Loosely based on truth)