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Dara & Patrick

May 19, 2018 • Freetown, IN, USA

Dara & Patrick

May 19, 2018 • Freetown, IN, USA

July 2016

Patrick - It was my first Peak experience in Tulsa, Oklahoma - During a rehearsal, a friend of mine leaned over and told me there was an amazing singer who would be singing the song we were rehearsing at the time. I was excited to hear this person sing, so I was looking around and waiting; and of course, she (Dara) was late. No surprise now that I know her. But not just a little bit late - like, a day late. Well, I did not think much of it until service started and it was her song. Then, in my head, I replayed the conversation I had had with my friend at rehearsal. Sadly, we did not have too much communication at Peak outside of just a greeting and congratulatory comments.

Dara - The first time I ever remember seeing Patrick was in Tulsa, OK, at PEAK 2016 - more specifically at singing rehearsal. I remember noticing his clear glasses! Haha! From what I remember, we didn't speak at all that week; if we did, it was a brief, "Hello," or maybe one of us giving a compliment on a song.

December 2016

Patrick - The next time we saw each other was in December at Mid-Winter Summit in Dayton, Ohio. We had an opportunity to lead worship and be on the praise team together. Well, for the first rehearsal Dara is, wait for it.. LATE! But this time, for me, it was different. When I saw her! Her hair was down and curly! The bluest eyes I had ever seen were looking at me while she asked me to open the door for her! She was so beautiful! I did not realize that opening that door for her was also God opening so many doors for us to walk through together forever in the near future. After Summit, I knew that I wanted to get to know Dara. And I wanted to see if there was a mutual feeling of interest. But I also knew through some close friends of mine that she was not in the right space for that yet. Looking back, I am glad things happened the way they did, because she is #WorthTheWait.

Dara - A friend of mine had asked if I could help sing at Mid-Winter Summit in Dayton, OH. Due to some things I was experiencing at that time, I didn't even know whether to go or not. I had recently been through some things that had hurt me pretty deeply, and I wasn't sure that going was the best idea. I almost backed out a time or two. But I decided to go and make the best of it.

I was running late for practice the first night, not even halfway ready for church. I had driven straight from Indiana and hadn't gotten to the hotel early enough to finish getting ready. I was dressed for church, but my hair was down and in its naturally curly (wild) state and I was rushing to get inside. When I got there the door was locked, but the worship leader for the week came to my rescue and opened it from the inside. It was Patrick! We greeted each other briefly and hurried into the sanctuary to practice.

Due to some things I was experiencing at the time, that week was very emotional for me. Helping sing and lead in worship was my saving grace, because it helped take my mind off of everything else that was happening in my head and heart. I had so much fun during the practices; I was able to joke and laugh with everyone, and singing with everyone was so much fun. Outside of the services though, I was experiencing some pretty deep hurt and loneliness. After almost every service, Patrick would reach out and let me know where the musicians/singers were going to eat. But I was so distracted by my own emotions and circumstances that I didn't really notice.

January 2017

Patrick - On the way home from Summit, I was debating whether or not I should text or call Dara. However, I did not get her number the “right” way. I already had her number due to the group texts for the praise team. So I decided to give her the space she needed. Well, soon thereafter, she messaged me to tell me that they had just sung my favorite worship song ever and it was one of the songs we did at Summit - “I Lift Up My Hands...” There was my in! THANK YOU JESUS! Messages go back and forth, then texts, then a FaceTime call... So about that first FaceTime call! I called her and she answered the phone, half asleep, crazy hair, in pajamas and confused. Through all that she still managed a, “Hello?!” She was so beautiful! When she finally realized that she was on a FaceTime call with me, she said, “Umm… Can I call you back?!” She called back a little bit later with her hair up, teeth brushed, face washed, banquet dress on… Okay, maybe not the banquet dress, but this is MY story. It was later in January when I saw her again. We were with some friends recording some tracks for an album. We were talking a little more but nothing too serious. I could tell that there were still a lot of lingering hurts and some understandably high walls built to protect herself.

Dara - Not too long after Summit, we sang the song, "I Lift Up My Hands," at our church for the first time. We had also sang this song at Summit as a worship team, and it was (and still is) one of the most memorable songs at that conference for us. During Summit, Patrick had specifically told me that this was his favorite worship song and that we should do it at our church sometime. So after we did it, I messaged him on Instagram and told him that we had sang it at our church, and I thanked him for the inspiration.

I'm not sure what made me message him on Instagram. Because of recent circumstances, I had no desire to date anyone or be with anyone. I think more than anything I wanted to just thank him for his kindness to me during Summit. Because after the fact, I realized how nice he had been to me, and I wanted him to know I wasn't trying to be rude - I just had a lot going on that was distracting me. And I thought maybe I could somehow thank him and let him know I really wasn't a snob. :p

After that first message, we messaged a bit back and forth on IG. Then he wanted to send me a video that was too long to send through IG, so he had to send it to my phone (so sly.. :p). So then we started communicating some via text. And eventually phone calls/FaceTime.

By the time he had FaceTimed me a couple of times, there was no question in my mind that he was interested. He made known his intentions, which I really respected; but I also knew that I was in no state to nor did I have a desire to date anyone or talk to anyone seriously. I had been through some difficult things in recent months, and I knew it would take a while for me to heal. And in no way did I want to use someone as an emotional “crutch.” Not to mention I was very afraid of hurting someone and of being hurt again. So I was very open and honest with him and let him know I had no desire to be anything more than friends, at least for the time being.

He was so understanding and kind; and he was willing to let me take all the time I needed to heal. In the midst of it all though, he still wasn't afraid to let me know how he felt. I remember the first time that he told me, "As soon as you are ready, I am dating you." I was scared to death. Ha!

Later in January, I got a call from a friend who wanted me to come to Nashville to help lay down some vocal tracks for a project they were working on. Patrick actually was also involved in this project. I was super excited about the opportunity and made the trip. There were several of us there, including Patrick and his sisters; and we all had fun together, singing at the studio, playing games at the hotel, etc. I was still super guarded and trying to figure out whether or not I was even interested in Patrick; but it was a fun time for sure.

As time progressed, we continued to talk; and within a couple months, I knew I liked him, and I was definitely growing in my respect for him. He treated me differently than anyone I'd ever known. I had lost nearly all confidence in myself; and he began helping me see my value again. But I still had high walls built up to protect my heart.

February 2017

Dara - Sometime in February, I felt like I should go on a Daniel Fast. One day I asked Patrick if he had ever done one before. He said, "Yeah! If you want to do one, I'll do it with you!" What?! A guy that OFFERS to go without meat and bread for 3 weeks? This dude is serious. Haha.

The only catch was that I really felt like during the fast, we should also not communicate with one another. That was going to be tough, considering that at that point we talked in some form or another every day. But that's what I really felt, and although we both knew it would be hard, he agreed that that's what we would do.

During that fast, SO many things happened for me. It would take so much time to explain the depth of everything that took place during those 3 weeks. Although the healing process was not yet complete, the end of that fast did mark the end of some very dark days for me - and the beginning of a new season of growth and life. It was a beautiful thing.

March 2017

Patrick - There was a concert in Nashville that I invited her to. The concert ended up getting cancelled, but she came to Nashville anyway. We and a group of our friends went out for lunch and then for coffee and sweets at Ugly Mugs. That is when I finally had an opportunity to have a face-to-face conversation with her to see if the interest was mutual or not. Thankfully there was some mutual interest; but it was not the right time for either one of us.

In the next several months, we saw each other several times, but it was just as friends, as we were still not quite in a place to date. I cannot recall exactly when it started, but during this time I kept telling Dara that she was #WorthTheWait.

One of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had was God giving me the front-row seat to watch Dara heal. I can go on and on about her beautiful story. From our meeting in December 2016 to present day, I got to watch Dara heal emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

Dara - We ended the Daniel Fast at midnight on March 9, and I came down for my first "real" visit on March 10. The original plan was for a group of us to go to a concert together that weekend; but the concert suddenly got canceled. I decided to go down anyway. That night we went to eat with Patrick's pastor and his wife and several of the young people from the church. Afterward we went back to Patrick’s family’s house and hung out. My favorite memory from that night is all of us singing and playing music together upstairs. I was shy, especially because I didn't know all of the songs! But music/singing is one of the biggest ways to my heart; and these people - and Patrick - were as passionate about it as I am! That meant so much to me.

The next day we went on outreach together. I had heard all about their outreach efforts, and it was really awesome to see it firsthand. That evening we went downtown with some of the young people and got donuts and coffee. At the coffee shop, Patrick and I had a brief, but good talk. He expressed his interest in me, and wanted to know if there was any mutual interest at all. At that point, I knew I liked him, and I was really growing to respect him. But I also knew that I was still not in any place to date anyone. And I didn't tell him this at the time; but at the beginning of the year, I had felt very strongly that I shouldn't date anyone until at least July. That was just the timeframe I felt very strongly. During our conversation, I did let him know I was interested, but I needed time. After we left downtown, we went to prayer at church, and then we all decided to go downtown again to the Opryland hotel. While we were walking around the hotel, Patrick and I stopped and sat down at one of the benches to talk for a bit. At this time, we had more time to talk than we had at the coffee shop. I was still very guarded though and wouldn't say a whole lot about my feelings. In fact, I think he did more talking than I did. But I do remember him telling me, "I want it to be you." That talk was a monumental moment in the growth of our friendship/relationship, and I remember journaling about it later. But even in journaling, I wouldn't write much, because I was so afraid it wouldn't work out.

April 2017

Dara - In early April, Patrick came to see me for the first time. We went shopping, he met my family, he played ball with the guys from church… One of the biggest things I remember from that visit was that I cried when he left (not where he could see me of course :p). That had never happened with anyone before. Feelings were starting to grow at this point; but I was still very guarded.

On April 24, I went to a special church service, and the preacher preached a message entitled, "From Broken Pieces to Masterpieces." I originally thought the message was for someone else... But then during altar call I really felt the Lord helping and strengthening me as well. Some things happened in the spirit that night, and I believe God did some things in and for me. I thought the process was completed, but after a while, I realized there was still some residual hurt.

Throughout the course of the next several months, I heard several people talk about walls. And how when we build them, we build them to protect ourselves. Sometimes though, in building these walls, even though we may be protecting ourselves, we also are keeping ourselves from good things. Maybe even good things God wants to bless us with. I definitely kept these things in my heart and thought and prayed about them. I didn’t want to be hurt; but I didn’t want to keep myself from good things that God had for me either. Somewhere in all of this process, Patrick began telling me that I was, “Worth the Wait.” He knew I needed time; and he didn’t know when I would be ready to move forward. But on an almost daily basis, he would let me know that I was worth waiting for. At first, it was hard for me to believe that I was someone worth pursuing or waiting for. But it meant so much to me that he not only told me, but showed me, that he was willing to pursue me and wait for me patiently.

May 2017

Dara - Another concert was scheduled in Nashville for May 6, and several of us decided to go together. But - That concert got canceled too! Again, I decided to go down anyway. A lot happened for me that week. It was my first time to meet Patrick’s little girl, Ava. It was also my first time to go with them on the Sunday morning bus route while they picked up kids. The visit was longer this time, too, and I got to spend a lot of time with Patrick and his family. This time, saying goodbye was really hard. It was the first time I can remember wanting to tell him that I loved him. I wouldn't tell him though; I still wanted to be careful, and since we weren't dating yet, even though those feelings were there, I didn't want to voice them. But he knew. I cried and cried when I left that time; and this time, he saw me. It was so tough.

June 2017

Dara - We both have church camps in June, and this year our church camps ended up being the same week, so weren't able to be together for either one of those. During our camp, one of my favorite preachers preached a POWERFUL message about forgiveness. I’m sure that message was for other people there too; but I KNEW it was for me. And it was that day that I let it all go. There were walls that I had built up and hurts that had resided in my heart. And that day, I emptied myself completely. And I forgave. I told God things that had happened and how they hurt so much. I prayed and prayed. And when I didn't know what to pray anymore, I asked God to speak through me and pray what needed to be prayed. It took a while; but I got complete release. It was all gone. And it was such a heavy burden off of my heart and mind! I now believe that that is why I felt like I needed to wait until July to date anyone. God knew that was going to happen, and He knew when my heart would be ready to forgive. He knew I needed that time. Thank God that He can lift the heavy burdens when no one else can!

July 2017

Dara - At the beginning of July, I went on my Hope Corps trip to Honduras. While I was there, I told Patrick that he could talk to my dad and my pastor about dating me (he had previously told me to let him know when I was ready for him to talk to them.) He was so excited! And so was I!

After my Hope Corps trip, on July 15, my brothers and I went to Kentucky Kingdom with Patrick, his sisters, and a couple young people from their church. After that, I went back with him to Tennessee. That night, we went back to Opryland Hotel, to the same bench we had “our talk” at back in March, and he asked me to be his girlfriend! For sure, I said yes! Even though to some people, it may not seem like a big deal to just be “dating,” this was a super special moment for us. A lot had happened between January and July; and at this point, we both cared about one another a lot. I had needed time and space to heal; and I had been afraid Patrick might give up on me. But he didn’t. He always told me that I was #WorthTheWait. It meant so much to me that a grown man who could have totally moved on if he had wanted to would be willing to let my heart heal in its own time – but at the same time gently pursue me and let me know he cared.

Patrick - July 2017! Exactly a year from the first time I saw her! We meet in Nashville before our trip back to Peak! She is ready. I am ready. WE ARE OFFICIAL! We are in a relationship! We are dating! We are happy! I tell her that I love her. She tells me that she loves me! This moment was #WorthTheWait just like she was! We are so proud and happy to tell all of our friends and family that we are officially dating at Peak!

July/August/September/October/November 2017

Patrick - The next few months we spent falling more in love with each other, traveling together, and leading worship at several conferences together. It was so amazing to be able to do what we both love and are passionate about together. It was as if it was a preview of what our lives will soon be like forever.

Dara - Throughout the summer, we traveled a lot together!! We went to PEAK, Ignite, Arkansas Campmeeting, and Summit in TN. We had so much fun together! There were more visits made back and forth. We had begun to talk about marriage. I knew I cared about Patrick deeply, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him; but I wanted to be sure that it was also what God wanted. I remember the day that I was praying in my room and God gave me assurance that His blessing was on our relationship and release to move forward to that next stage.

December 2017

Dara - In December, Patrick talked to my dad about marrying me, and my dad gave him his blessing!

This Christmas was our first Christmas together. It was so much fun! We weren't actually able to be together on Christmas Day because I had to work, but he came up the day after Christmas and spent the day with our family. The next day we headed off to Summit together! Crazy! Because just a year before is when we had first lead worship and sang together at Summit. All the feels!

January 2018

Dara - In January, our parents got to meet each other for the first time. From the moment my parents arrived in Tennessee, it was like they had all known each other forever. Our families just clicked, and it made me so, so thankful! Family is so important to me; and knowing that our families loved one another from the start meant the world to me. God knows just what we need and what is important to us!

February 2018

Patrick - February 10th, 2018… I surprised Dara by planning the proposal. I invited close friends and family to witness and celebrate with us. My friends and family helped me pick up flowers, help her get ready, etc. All I told her was that we were going to a fancy dinner and to dress up. At this point I was stressing. I wasn’t stressing whether or not she would say yes, but rather because it was cold and raining and I wanted it to be the perfect proposal for her. I wanted this night to be memorable for her. My friends and family reassured me that it was going to be great.. So here we go! We drove downtown and I told her that we had a little bit of time before dinner and I wanted to take her by the Parthenon. We got there and started walking down the side of the building, I told her how much I love her, and I looked down toward the end and saw cameras. I was hoping she would not notice them; but she did so I deflected, but there was no way out. We had kept the surprise for so long that I was ok with her figuring out what was “about to go down!” We reached the end of the side that we were walking down, I threw down the umbrella that I had been holding, grabbed her hand, and got down on one knee….. “Dara Lynn Spall, will you marry me?!” She says, “YES!” The crowd cheered wildly, hand claps, high fives were exchanged, love was definitely in the air! Then a friend asked, “Wait, did she say yes?!"

Dara - I was scheduled to work on Valentine's Day, so we wanted to get together either the weekend before or the weekend after. So Patrick had asked me to plan to go to dinner with him on Sat, Feb 10. He told me to dress up, because we would be going somewhere nice for dinner. At this point, it had been over a month since he talked to my dad about marrying me; and we had already set the wedding date for May 19, so I was hoping he would ask ASAP! On our way to dinner that night, we stopped at the Parthenon - a huge building in one of the parks in Nashville. I asked him what we were doing there, but he just said, "We're going to stop here for a few minutes." Okay... So we got out, and started walking down the sidewalk.. In the rain! Haha - My shoe got muddy and came untied, and I was complaining about it and was asking, "Patrick, what are we doing here?!" Lol! Once we got up to the Parthenon, he fixed my shoe for me (he’s the sweetest!), and we started walking along one side of the building, holding hands and talking. And then he looked at me and said, "You know how much I love you, right?" And then I knew. He legit was about to ask me to marry him! At one point I looked up and saw a camera set up at the edge of the corner of the building. And I knew it was all being captured! Once we got closer to the corner, a girl with a camera came out from the corner and was taking pictures... I remember saying, "Patrick, that's Kim Smith's [our photographer’s] daughter." Ha! We got to the corner, and he turned around, got on one knee, and said, "Dara Lynn Spall, will you marry me?" Of course I said, "Yes!" We hugged, and I heard cheering... When we stopped hugging, I looked over, and there were my people! My family and my best friends. He had been planning this for a month and made arrangements so they could all be there! It was amazing! He gave me several of my engagement gifts, and we got lots of pictures... It was surreal!!! We were engaged! What?! Afterward, we all went to dinner together... Patrick had reserved a banquet room for all of us at one of my favorite restaurants in Nashville. It was amazing!

Later that night, he gave me the rest of my engagement gifts (except for one, which wasn’t ready yet). The gifts were: A bouquet of 24 red roses (roses are my favorite flower!), a forever rose (A real rose dipped in gold – it’s so beautiful!), new glasses (I wore them in some of our engagement pics!), and a Bible with my new name engraved on it! I loved them all!! Several weeks later, he gave me my final engagement gift - a hand-painted picture (that he drove a total of 12 hours to get!) of “our bench" and the scenery around it at Opryland hotel!! I loved it!! That little bench has very special memories attached to it that I will hold in my heart forever; so this was a perfect gift for me!!!

Worth The Wait

Dara - The reason we chose May 19 as our wedding date actually goes back 12 years. In 2006, when I was 17, the young people from my church did a program together called, “Worth the Wait.” It’s a series of lessons and classes that teach about purity and keeping yourself for marriage. On May 19, 2006, we had a special service and committed to keeping ourselves pure for our future spouse. And they gave us a blue ribbon that says, “Worth the Wait.” That ribbon has remained very special to me, and I still have it to this day. Several years after the ceremony, I thought about how awesome it would be to get married on May 19th. But when I looked to see when May 19th was going to be on a Saturday, I saw that I was going to be 29 years old. No way did I want to wait till I was 29 to get married! But God has a sense of humor for sure; because this year is the year that I had looked at years ago and said, “No way do I want to wait that long to get married…” :p But even in His sense of humor, God also had a plan. Because “Worth the Wait” has been mine and Patrick’s motto for quite some time - ever since he started telling me that I was worth the wait. And how appropriate for us to get married on the anniversary of my Worth the Wait ceremony?! God is so good… And His plans are always best! And His Will is 100% Worth the Wait!!!