She straight snubbed the bride the first time they met, then went on to marry her brother and become her BFF. Want to see her puke? Lift your shirt and play with your belly button.

This bish and the bride go WAY back, and once drove though Denver dragging bras under her car. They weren’t even their bras.

Hello my name is Man...resume.

She introduced the bride as her “close friend” once and it was magic. She’s a scientist, so don’t talk dumb and shit around her!

Once, after getting off the ferry and all hopping in a taxi, she told the driver, “To the Showbox, and STEP ON IT!” The bride knew she was a forever friend.

She learned the hard way why you NEVER pass out in your shoes when your friends are a bunch of a-holes like us!

The brides grandfather who will woo you with her boyish good looks. Before we had cars, we had horses and ol grandpa here will tell you all about it.

The bride saw this hottie from across the bar, with the weirdest pool playing style she’s EVER seen and thought to herself, “Who’s this bitch all up in our tables?!” Over 10 years later and they are still loving each other and the game.

Fucking accounting homework!