The first time I met Ben was on September 25, 2019, the day after his 23rd birthday. To this day, every moment from that afternoon has stuck with me. That day my clinical work had gotten canceled, so I planned to do outreach for InterVarsity. I had made plans to meet up with a freshman who was interested in the group. I sat at the library waiting for about 30 minutes before realizing she had stood me up. Upon realizing this, I went to speak with our InterVarsity staff member, Travis, who was sitting in the communications building. I sat with him on the second floor in a booth. While we spoke, a tall guy walked up behind him. He had on sweat pants, a blue hoody with thumb holes in the sleeves, and a beat up blue and orange mets hat. Travis introduced Ben and I. The only word Ben said to me that day was "hello", but it truly started everything.

I have never been a believer in love at first site. I always thought that care and affection grew over time, but when Ben said hello to me that day I genuinely felt my heart flutter. It left such an impact on me that when I got back to my apartment that night I told Emily (my roommate) about what had happened. She insisted that I follow him on instagram. She had a feeling about him.

While that was the first time we met, our friendship didn't actually start until a few months later. We had passed by and shared a few quick hellos, but it wasn't until the spring semester that our friendship began to flourish. On January 1 of 2020 I had a revelation. I remember lying in bed at my grandmother's house realizing I was about to halfway through college and I had nothing to show for it. I had been so focused on grades and achievements, that I forgot to enjoy where I was. My schedule for that semester was nuts (11 classes, 20 credits). I vowed to myself that I was going to create freetime and enjoy myself. Part of that included going to InterVarsity more and saying yes to social events.

After that vow, I committed. I went to InterVarsity just about every Thursday. No matter how much homework I had or how tired I was I showed up. One night, Christine invited me to go to Cru after InterVarsity (as their meetings ran later). I said yes. This went on for a few weeks, but I was quite introverted and had a difficult time speaking up in this new group. One night, I got caught up talking to some old friends while I was leaving. Almost an hour went by, when a small group of people leaving Cru showed up. They invited me out for late night snacks with them. I was not friends with any of them, but sticking with my vow I went. That night, Ben invited me to a party he was throwing for the Super Bowl. I accepted thinking his invite was just to be nice, after all I was the quiet girl who came to hang out with them. I figured if I didn't show up no one would think twice. A few days later (Sunday) he messaged me on Instagram to see if I was still planning to come. I realized it had been a genuine invite and asked if I could bring my roommate. Once he said yes, Emily and I got ready and forced our selves out for socialization. We made a deal that we would stay until half time and then leave so we could rest for class the next day. We ended up staying until about 2 in the morning.

The following weeks I continued to spend time with the "after Cru" group at a restaurant on campus. During our very late Thursday night hangouts, Ben and I were often two of the last people to leave. He was one of those people who would make eye contact with you and ensure you he was listening even when the rest of the group wasn't. An introvert's dream!! I would plan my week around these hang outs, just to make sure I had time with my new friends (and of course Ben). During these conversations Ben learned I did not have a church in Montclair to call home. After some discussion about what I was looking for, he offered to drive me to church with him. We did this for a few Sundays, and I fell in love with the church.

March rolled around and I spent one last night hanging with the late night group before Spring break. We called it an early night since many of us were leaving for home the next day. I remember waving goodbye and looking back as Ben walked away. Then we went into lockdown.

Ben was a senior, so I felt sad to know I would never see him again. I often replayed our last good bye in my head, feeling heartbroken for the friendship I had lost. I texted Valerie and expressed this heartbreak, and she ensured me that if the friendship was real we would find a way to continue. Little did she know...

A few days after we moved home, Ben texted me and asked how I was handling everything. I gave a polite answer saying I was fine. The next day, the levity of the situation set in and I began to feel sad and scared. For whatever reason, I felt that Ben was the one I needed to speak to. While I was literally sobbing, I texted him telling him how awful I was feeling. That night he stayed up late reassuring me and commiserating with me over text. Since then, our texting hasn't stopped. As it turned out, our late night hang outs on campus became late night chats on zoom. The group we had hung out with turned into just Ben and I. We would talk for an average of 4 hours a night and wouldn't get to bed until 1 or 2 in the morning. We both made up excuses to ask the other for help on various assignments. We watched Netflix together, all of Tiger King, Death Note, and Parks and Rec. I knew something was starting, but I was too afraid to admit it.

A few days after the semester ended, Ben called me and expressed that he was enjoying our time and thought we should "take things to the next level". All I said on the phone call was "yeah" repeatedly. He told me he wanted me to take some time alone to think, discuss it with my parents, and pray. After a few days of praying and thinking, I called him back and said yes. During that phone call he told me his intentions for our relationship, he ensured me that he was going to try with all his might to treat me how I deserved, and he told me in all the sweetest ways possible what I meant to him. I had never been spoken to in this way. Little to his knowledge I cried tears of joy and relief the entire phone call.

The rest is absolute history. Ben has been the sweetest man I have ever had the opportunity to know. He has looked out for me every day since the beginning of our friendship. Not everything has been easy, but I think the hard times we have gone through together have shown us how strong our bond is and the beauty of a Christ driven relationship. When Ben proposed, he got down on one knee and told me "I feel like it is time to take this to the next level". It was the easiest yes ever.

When I first met Elise it wasn't in person. It was on Instagram. Back when I was on social media I wouldn't follow anyone that I didn't have some sort of relationship with. When I got a notification that she wanted to follow me I saw that she was friends with iv and cru people. I figured that she wanted to connect with other Christians so I accepted her request not thinking much of it.

I didn't officially meet her until I met her at my friend Jabari's bible study in December of 2019. I recognized her from her Instagram and we had small talk. The next semester in 2020 I had big plans. I just moved into a new apartment on campus and had awesome roommates. I always had a dream of inviting people over to hang out, watch movies, play games, etc.. My first plan was to have a super bowl party. My plan was to invite all of cru/iv. While I was planning all of that I was at cru a couple of weeks before the super bowl and cru had just ended for the night. Everyone still wanted to hang so we decided to a restaurant on campus and we run in to...you guessed it Elise. We invited her out to dinner and later on I invited her to the super bowl party.

Shortly after the super bowl I had movie nights consistently and Elise was one of the people who came over every weekend to join in. The more I saw her the more interested I became. I did take her to church to help her find community and she liked it, so we kept going back every Sunday.

We were really starting to connect but before things could blossom....COVID happened. I expected all of my relationships to die down but with Elise it accelerated. We just kept in touch. We wanted to know how the other person was doing. We would sometimes be on zoom till 1am. It was great.

Now even during COVID I tried to keep the movie nights alive over zoom. There was one day I said in a group chat that if anyone was interested in watching tiger king. I set up the documentary and one person showed up......I'm sure you can guess who it was. We got hooked. We binge watch the entire thing, and then we started to watch other shows together till the end of the semester.

Once we got to the end of semester I started to develop feelings for Elise. I waited till the end of semester to see if these feelings were real and sure enough they were. I reached down deep into my soul to muster up the courage to ask her out. And sure enough I did in the most awkward way possible. Somehow, someway, she said yes.

Little over 2 years later I can't wait to call her my wife.