B'Elanna (she/her):

It all started when I picked Emma up off the high school bus... just kidding. That’s an inside joke, but here’s the real story: we met on Tinder in November 2018. Emma was a freshman and I was a super senior at UAF in Fairbanks, AK.

Emma had no matches, except for me. On the other hand, I was in full-on party girl mode, racking up matches left and right. But, I was also ignoring all of them since I wasn't really serious about dating.

Emma's profile photos were... well, intriguing. I had to ponder what in the hell was happening in each photo. One of them featured Emma standing at an odd distance in a suit, with a sweaty face and hair, with their mouth hanging open. I thought, who in the right mind would think these are good photos to include in a tinder profile.

Naturally, I had to message them. I liked how authentic they seemed in their photos. I soon found out that we actually had the same friend group, but Emma was 18 and more into the non-party stuff, while I was 22 and spent most of my time drinking.

We’d even almost met several times—like when I fell asleep on the couch and missed the Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I was planning on joining with that friend group. Thank goodness I didn't, because Emma had tried a bong for the first time and I would have probably gotten a bad first impression. We had never crossed paths, but I believe we eventually would have.

Then came our first date on November 16, 2018. I met Emma at their college dorm, and I remember the first thing I noticed was this genuine, beaming smile on their face that made me melt. I also remember being immediately attracted to them and felt surprised, because they went against the grain of my usual preferences ( I only dated older women and disliked short hair).

Emma picked and drove to the restaurant and I, being in charge of directions, proceeded to forget to tell them to turn multiple times - there was one turn. After 20 minutes of driving in circles, we finally arrived. This drive was a preview of every driving experience we have had over the past 6 years : Emma behind the wheel and me clueless of where we are going.

The restaurant was way too expensive for our measly college budgets, but I will never forget Emma listening intently to me rambling/talking about whatever I wanted for 2 hours straight. I don't think I learned a single thing about Emma. My diary entry of the time was as follows: " I met this girl named Emma, she's from Anchorage".

We then went to a party at my place my roommate was hosting. At the end of the night, I tried to walk Emma to their car, but in the most dramatic fashion, they RAN as soon as they got out the door. Needless to say, I thought I’d never see them again.

But, surprise! We soon started going on more dates, but each time, I really thought Emma wasn't all that interested. I did get to know them more though: I remember admiring their ability to talk to anyone, their intelligence, their openness to adventure, and we shared the same values. Also, they were terrible at texting me back. Turns out, they were just trying not to seem "too interested". Not sure I would recommend that strategy.

Two weeks after our first date, Emma asked me to be their girlfriend while hanging out on the clickity-clack Walmart couch in my college apartment. At the time, I wasn't expecting it to get serious: I had just ended a relationship with someone else also name Emma. Looking back, Emma should have seen me as a red flag, but I am glad they didn't. Its now 6 years later and I am just as enamored with Emma if not more.

Emma (they/them):

We are a Tinder success story. Huzzah!

It was November 2018, and I was on Tinder as a newly out UAF freshman ready to hit the dating scene HARD. I had been on one awkward Tinder date the previous summer, but had not had many interactions through the app since. I thought that my photos captured my charming essence, the profile quips showcased my intelligent and humorous nature, but I did not have any matches to show for it.

One fall semester day in the UAF Writing Lab, I was swiping instead of printing and I came across an intriguing profile. B'Elanna Rhodehamel. The name rang a bell, but I couldn't place where. I can't remember now exactly what she wrote in her profile, except for her age: 22. 4 years older than me, my first indication that there was no way I was going to match with her. She was an ADULT.

I don't remember her bio, but I do remember the photos. A gallery of interests, including backpacking, aerial silks, and... big xylophones? (I had no idea what Zimbabwean marimba was at the time, much like 99.99% of the US population. ) The woman in these photos was strong, beautiful, seemingly intelligent, and soooooo out of my league.

I nearly fell out of my plastic chair when the match notification came through upon swiping. I believe my exact thoughts were: "NO F***ING WAY". As if merely matching with this mystery woman was not enough, she messaged me first! I'd like to reiterate that I had essentially no matches at this time, and the matches I did have were largely one sided conversations from yours truly. Needless to say, I was floored.

We exchanged some pleasantries, I don't recall them off the top of my head. I do remember B'Elanna mentioning that she was in a plant lab and some seeds had spilled, to which I wittingly replied that it sounded like a biological code red, or something to that effect. I'm so clever!

I realized that B'Elanna Rhodehamel and I had mutual friends, but we had never met because B'Elanna was over 21 and would go partying and I was too young to go to the on-campus pub. There were actually several times that we had almost met; a road trip to Circle, Alaska that I did not go on and a Rocky Horror Picture Show event that B'Elanna cancelled last minute (thank goodness she didn't meet me here; I arrived after getting high for the first time and don't think I would have been very good company). But hey, this is what Tinder is for.

After only a few messages back and forth B'Elanna suggested we meet at the Pub on the UAF campus. I reminded her that I was only 18 (she made me remind her!), and suggested a dinner date instead.

The day of the first date came, and we were to meet in the lobby of MBS (UAF dorm). I was, naturally, pacing about the pool table, dressed in my finest attire and panicking about how cool this person seemed and how not cool I was. Some friends were trying to hype me up, but all I could envision was B'Elanna being utterly disappointed by the person she had swiped right on. A notification from Tinder: B'Elanna was waiting in the lobby.

I took a deep breath, and opened the Skarland door.

B'Elanna was walking towards me, in what I would later learn to be one of her only "nice" outfits. She looked beautiful, in a turtle neck, maroon skirt, and hardy winter boots. She had a warm smile and kind eyes, and was shorter than me, which was a surprise. While I was still very nervous, there was an odd and comforting calm that washed over me, and I cracked a big smile.

I was driving us in Little Red Hen (my 2005 Kia Spectra5 hatchback from my late grandma), so B'Elanna was in charge of directions. Per my choice, we were going to Wolf Run, one of the fancier restaurants in posh Fairbanks. I knew vaguely where it was, but was relying on this interesting stranger to arrive at our destination. This proved to be challenging, for a reason that still holds true today: B'Elanna is terrible at giving directions.

We made it to the restaurant, after many wrong turns and nervous laughs. I had chosen Wolf Run because I thought a nice dinner date is a good way to get to know someone, and it had great reviews. I didn't consider the fact that we were both broke college students, so from the illustrious menu we both chose the cheapest items. I ordered the Caesar salad, and B'Elanna ordered the seafood soup.

We then spent hours talking, with B'Elanna telling me stories of Japan, being a Forest Service Ranger, and playing a...kalimba? Zarimba? No, no, Zimbabwean marimba, duh! All I could think the whole dinner was how cool and interesting she was. She was an adventurous soul, and had many interests that aligned with mine, but I didn't feel at the time that my pitiful stories were holding up. I also kept glancing at her soup, which had baby octopi floating about. At that point I was not a fan of any seafood, so to see her so brazenly ingest such a obvious creature of the sea was very impressive and intimidating.

Our measly meals slowly dwindled, and a feeling of the night's end settled over the table. Until...B'Elanna mentioned that her roommate was having a party at their apartment, and asked if I would like to come over and continue the date. I was internally shocked, I was enamored by her but really couldn't fathom that she was interested. I was very much wanting to continue the night, however, so I accepted.

We entered B'Elanna's apartment and were greeted by lot of her and her roommate's friends. The party was chill but in full swing, and B'Elanna offered me a barely alcoholic drink. I accepted, but was a little nervous to drink at this party with my wonderful date and a bunch of strangers. We sat on the floor and chatted with some friends, and I got the idea in my head that I should not be there. I wasn't cool enough to be at this party, to be with this person, to meet their friends. I had barely presented myself well during the dinner date, how could I impress now? B'Elanna was sitting next to me, and I was insanely aware of how close we were. I eventually made some excuse about heading home, and B'Elanna led me to the door.

As I recall the interaction, I was not getting the energy that B'Elanna would want to see me again. We had a wonderful time, but I was very much in my head that there was no way she found me attractive and/or interesting. Because of this, I squeaked a good-bye and then scurried to the car. I later learned that B'Elanna was having a great time and thought this was ME not being interested...smooth move, Emma.

I drove away from the apartment feeling incredibly lucky to have spent a nice evening with such a person, and hoping that by some miracle I would have another chance to see her. I am happy to have that chance every day.