Killian and I will be having an aufruf the Sabbath before the wedding and we would like to invite all of you to come. The aufruf will take place July 10th @ Granny's Diner at 1234 Bipiteebopiteeboo Ln.
What is an aufruf?:
The Shabbos before the wedding the groom gets walked to shul by friends or family (who are joyous) and is then given an aliyah to the Torah.
The reasoning behind this halacha is as follows:
Pirkei D' Rebbe Eliezer explains that King Shlomo created two gates to the Beit Hamikdash (in addition to the other eight). These were The Gate of Mourners and The Gate of Grooms. The Gate of Mourners was created so that people who would pass through would be comforted. The Gate of Grooms was created so that people who would pass through would be congratulated and blessed with children. When the Beit Hamikdash was destroyed the Sanhedrin moved these customs (the idea of comfort and joy) to the Batei Midrashim and the Shuls so that the community would still be there for these people. And therefore, today we have Aufruf's for brides and grooms.
(For more information on these terms please look at Pirkei D'Rebbi Eliezer 17)
A halachic prenup is a document of the Judaic court which ensures that if the relationship ends in divorce, the woman will be both civilly and religiously divorced. This is done to ensure that the issue of an aguna does not occur (a husband who will not give a get to his wife). Killian and I have a prenup, however we are both certain our relationship will last forever!
Our 2 witnesses are our 2 dear friends: Aurora and her husband Prince Phillip.
I will be wearing white because white symbolizes chessed and giving. The hebrew word for white is לבן, which is related to the word לב-heart. The heart is very giving because it pumps blood throughout the entire body. Therefore, when two people get married they become givers to each other.
(If you are interested in learning more about the terms and ideas referenced in this section, please see: Rabbi Beryl Gershfeld and Ner Le'Elef audio class
The meaning behind fasting on the day of the wedding is that the day is a mini Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement) for all of your sin. After getting married all of your sins get erased just like after Yom Kippur.
(For more information on this topic please look at Rabbi Menachem Packsher and Invei HaGefen, 6:1)
Tenaim literally mean condition. It is a binding financial agreement between the two families that also sets out information regarding who is paying for what. At the time of the Tenaim the mothers of the bride and the groom break a plate. This symbolizes the strength of a commitment to marriage.
(For information check out Rabbi Mordechai Becher and Gateway to Judaism)
Our wedding will begin with kabalat panim. I will be sitting in a fancy chair surrounded by my bridal party and family. During this, all female guests our welcome to come wish my family and I a Mazal Tov so that I can give you a bracha. If I am saying Tehilim when you arrive, you can interrupt me. I can't wait to see you!!
The men are all invited to join Killian at his Chosson's Tisch, which will be next door in the other ballroom.
The men will go to Killian's Tisch. Here the men will have a chance to wish Killian Mazel Tov, make a לחיים, sing, and dance. For the לחיים, there is alcohol, (especially Rum Killian's favorite) and the people take a shot and with the Chosson Mazel Tov. There can also be several D'var Torah. The main event at the Tisch is signing of the Ketubah, the marriage contract, by two witnesses who are Jewish.
(For more information see Rabbi Mordechai Becher, Gateway to Judaism)
During the Chosson's tisch, you will see my Fiance and two of his friends signing a document. This Judaic document is called a Ketuba. The Ketuba is a legal document/contract that is signed by 2 witnesses and the couple. In addition, the Ketuba is read at the Chuppah. By signing the Ketuba, the man agrees that he will feed, clothe and be intimate with his wife. The contract ensures that if they divorce, she will receive 200 zuziim. However if she is not a virgin at the time of the wedding, she will receive 100 zuziim. (This situation may apply to someone who is a widow or has been divorced previously).
(For more information Rabbi Mordechai Becher, Gateway to Judaism, p. 22)
Our two witnesses for the signing of the Ketuba will be:
Kristoff Bjorgman
Neal Cassidy
Bedeken means veiling in Yiddish. What happens is that the Killian is escorted by David, my father, and Brennen, his father, to me. Killian covers me with my veil and will tell me how beautiful I am. Then my father and soon to be father-in-law blesses me. We do this because of Rebecca. Rebecca veiled herself when she saw Yitzchak in the field. Also when the men veils the bride it symbolizes that the man is marrying the women for her internal beauty and not only her external beauty. The veil also symbolizes privacy and in a marriage a couple has their own private intimate relationship.
(For more information please see Rabbi Menachem Packsher, Invei HaGefen, Maurice Lamm, The Jewish Way in Love and Marriage, and Rabbi Aron Moss
The chuppah is compared to the open tent of Avraham, which was open on all sides to permit guests to enter. When the couple comes under the chuppah, the couple begins their life in a "house" resembling that of Avraham, the first Jew. They make a statement that their house will be open to guests and hospitality, just like Avraham's. Killian and I have chosen a beautiful chuppah to have our wedding ceremony in. We have chosen North Suburban Flowers to decorate our chuppah with lilies .
For more information see Bartenura on Avot 1:5Ezer Mekudash, Even Ha'Ezer 55:1
Before the wedding takes place Killian and I wanted to explain what is occurring during the wedding. There are 2 parts of the wedding Nisuiin and Erusin:
1. Erusin is similar to an engagement since it does not permit the couple to live together or be intimate. On the other hand, as soon as erusin is completed, the woman has the full status of a married woman, and the man has the status of a married man. What this means is they cannot be intimate with anyone else. For this reason, erusim takes place simultaneously with nesuin. We do not want a situation where a woman is considered married but not living with her husband.
2. Nesuin is derived from the word to lift or take (נשא). This word indicates that the man is taking the woman as a wife. Therefore, from this point on they are husband and wife, and may live together and share intimacy.
For more information see
Devarim/Deuteronomy 20:7; Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Made in Heaven, pp. 133-4
One reason the bride and broom are escorted by candles is based on the pasuk ליהודים היתה אורה שמחה וששון- "The Jews had light, gladness, joy, and honor." The candles symbolizes that new couples life should be filled with light and joy. Another reason is that at Har Sinai the Jews married G-d, and the mountain was surrounded by fire. Therefore, we have candles at our wedding to have that light.
For more information see
Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, Made in Heaven
During the ceremony you will see me walk around Killian 7 times. The number seven has a special meaning. The bride walks around the groom seven times to symbolize that she will help build him and define him like adam who was originally created during the seven days of Creation. In addition, she symbolizes that like chava she will return to adam (her husband) to make him complete.
For more information see Rabbi Beryl Gershenfeld. See also Sefer Ta'amei HaMinhagim 967.
Under the Chuppah and after the meal before benching we will say sheva brachot. The following is a link to the brachot: http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/479965/jewish/Sheva-Brachot.htm
One of my favorite brachot is the last one, which everyone sings. The bracha is as follows:
בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּרָא שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה, חָתָן וְכַלָּה, גִּילָה רִנָּה דִּיצָה וְחֶדְוָה, אַהֲבָה וְאַחֲוָה שָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת, מְהֵרָה יְ-יָ אֱלֹהֵ-ינוּ יִשָּׁמַע בְּעָרֵי יְהוּדָה וּבְחוּצוֹת יְרוּשָׁלָיִם, קוֹל שָׂשׂוֹן וְקוֹל שִׂמְחָה, קוֹל חָתָן וְקוֹל כַּלָּה, קוֹל מִצְהֲלוֹת חֲתָנִים מֵחֻפָּתָם, וּנְעָרִים מִמִּשְׁתֵּה נְגִינָתָם: בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יְ-יָ, מְשַׂמֵּחַ חָתָן עִם הַכַּלָּה.
In this bracha we bless the couple and hope that live a life of love, happiness, friendship, and joy. In addition, we ask Hashem that the Beit Hamikdash should be restored so that wedding's can take place in Yerushalayim.
The following people will be saying brachot:
Doc, Doppy, Sneezy, Sleepy, Bashful, and Grumpy
We break a glass as a symbol of mourning. We do not have a temple; therefore, our lives are not perfect. Even during a happy occasion you should still remember joy is not complete without Yerushalayim. It also symbolizes the bond that has been established. Breaking a glass is an action that cannot be undone, so when Chosson steps on the glass we pray that the marriage will last forever.
(For more information please see Rema, Orach Chaim 560:2 and Rabbi Yehoshua Pfeffer, Morasha)
The יחוד (seclusion) room is a room where the bride and groom are taking immediately after the Chuppah. There Killian and I will have are first moment alone as a married couple!! We break our fast and exchange gifts, We assigned two witness to see us enter and leave the room. We are in the for about eight minutes. We do this because it is an important lesson: the couple should never let the world consume them, rather they should make time for each other.
Our 2 people to serve as witnesses by the יחוד room are
Happy (Seven Dwarfs)
and Archie Hopper
(For more info please look at Rabbi Yehoshua Pfeffer, Morasha, and Ibid)
After leaving the yichud room, the new couple is greeted in the wedding hall with music, singing, and dancing. Since it is a great mitzvah to bring joy to the couple, everyone joins in the dancing, and some perform shtick to entertain the couple. Since God's Presence only dwells amidst joy, bringing happiness to the couple helps to bring God's Presence to their new home and into their marriage.
A little birdie told me (literally) that the citizens of Storybrooke have planned GREAT shtick for our wedding.
Hey! This is Charming here! We planned an awesome shtick. We all bought red leather jackets that say #savior on the back. In addition we bought Killian a fake hand! I'm so excited it is going to be great:)))
Belle and Rumple (Formal tea party)
Zelena and Hades (Formal Fleishich)
Snow White and Prince Charming (Informal BBQ)
Anna and Kristoff (Formal Ball)
Regina and Robin Hood (Informal Luncheon)
Mulan, Red, and Dorothy (Informal Picnic).