His point of view:

Haley and I have an old love. It isn’t grounded in experience or expressions of affection, though we’ve enjoyed those along the way. The love we share is an overflow of the love that God still demonstrates toward undeserving sinners through the gospel of Jesus. He came and lived a life we can’t, died a death we deserve, was buried and raised again so that people who were helpless and hopeless could be forgiven by trusting Jesus in their place. From the moment we met, things have been gloriously different. When Haley opened the door for the first time, I felt like I met a best friend I had never known before. The difference has never been us. We’re just as broken as you. The difference is Jesus. Jesus defined our dating relationship; He’s defining our engagement; and He will define our marriage. We exist to tell you about His great love.

It all started for me in August 2023. I sent a friend request to a girl with aquamarine eyes that I had noticed in my “suggested friends” list. After approving my request, I began investigating. Immediately, I noted her love for Jesus that overflowed into the lives of others around her. It was evident that God’s grace had transformed her life. She cared for people that were in need. She sacrificed to see others flourish. She had a heart for the overlooked and left out. She was also hilarious. There’s this little clip of her outside a restaurant called “The Laughing Crab” in the DFW area, and she’s impersonating the crab on the sign. I was hooked. And good grief—those aquamarine eyes! Hubba hubba. She was lovely inside and out. I told myself, “If I’m ever single and in Dallas, I’m going to ask her to get coffee with me.”

Then, in the fall of 2024, I had to go to Dallas for a week to take some exams for school. As I made my final push in preparation, I remembered that there was a young lady in Dallas with aquamarine eyes that I had told myself I would reach out to if I was there and single. I prayed, typed out my text, saved it in my “Notes” folder on my phone, prayed some more, and finally, sent it. The next day, she said yes. We chatted back and forth briefly, and then she told me to reach out before I left so we could plan something. I spent the next week looking through her pictures and trying to find video clips to see what she sounded like. I longed to sit down with her and learn about her life. Those days of silence were some of the most difficult for me.

When I got to Dallas, we scheduled dinner for Wednesday. The next two days, I invoked a tradition that my best friends and I used to do when I lived there. We would scope out the prospective date the days before we went. That way, when the day arrived, we could be confident in our directions and decisions. Without telling them, I took two of my best friends to one of my favorite places to eat: Too Thai Street Eats followed my Somi Somi (Korean soft serve ice cream). I didn’t take them at the same time. Instead, I took one on Monday night, one on Tuesday night, and then Haley on Wednesday night. I wanted to make sure that the date was mapped out well. And, being the creature of habit that I am, I ate the same meal each night. The G7. Seua Rong Hai Crying Tiger & Jasmine Rice is lifechanging.

Wednesday night arrived. I was nervous but excited. I wore the same khaki denim pants that I regularly do, an olive-green USMC sweatshirt, and a denim jacket. Because it was Dallas in September, I sweated like a five-cent mule. But when the door opened and I heard her voice and saw those aquamarine eyes in person, my heart melted (from love…and the heat). We chatted on the way to the restaurant. I was locked in. I felt like I rambled, and she was so patient. We were seated at a table to the far left as we walked through the door. Trying not to talk too much, I gulped my drink and ran out of water before the food came. I shocked myself by asking Haley if I could have a sip of her water. Mind you, she has been a TOTAL stranger up to this point. I would typically never do this, except that I was that thirsty and felt unexpectedly comfortable around her. She agreed and I savored the sip. We left Too Thai and got Somi Somi, one of my few sweet tooth weaknesses. We sat until the sun started to set, then I took her home. Feeling confident, I talked about all sorts of things, even gutting deer during hunting season (10/10 would not recommend that move to anyone, but it worked!). I walked her to the door and said, “So…now what?” I was terrified she would say, “No thanks, deerslayer. I don’t want a 1,200-mile romance!” We chatted and agreed to keep in contact. I went back to my room to study again for my exams the following day. As it turned out, we were able to see each other for one more quick date before I flew home on Friday. We ate at Andy’s Frozen Custard near her house. When I dropped her off, we had another conversation about moving forward. I promised to keep in contact and Facetime as often as possible, but I wouldn’t be free to come back to Dallas for two months.

Little did we know, but those two months would solidify our relationship. We had to decide early on whether we wanted this or not. We both did. I remember the conversation when we defined the relationship. I said, “I just want to make sure you realize that I live in Conway.” We both laughed. I reminded her how I felt the Lord’s calling on my life to minister in Conway at Bethany Bible Chapel, and I wanted to make sure she was not only aware of that, but also on board. She said, “Before I responded to your invitation to coffee or dinner, I prayed and asked the Lord whether I should. And I decided that, yes, I am willing.” Even then, early on, I knew I wanted to marry her. That one word, “willing,” was new for me in the dating sense. It was refreshing, washing over my heart and mind with deep peace. By God’s grace, “willing” has defined us ever since.

I returned briefly to Dallas two months later, the week before Thanksgiving. A month later, she came to Conway between Christmas and New Years. In between, the Lord graciously provided the necessary technology to keep us going. I made a turnaround trip to Dallas for Valentine’s Day. Then, I received last minute orders for four weeks of Navy training in Newport, RI. Haley came to visit me twice. I had never known such willingness, such commitment.

March melted into April and Haley had given me some parameters for our relationship moving forward, and I was absolutely on board with all of them. She wanted to get engaged in Dallas, and wanted to use a Christian ring company out of Lexington, KY. I would recommend them to anyone with highest regards. We would look at engagement rings during her stay in Conway around Easter, but she wanted to spend some extended time in Conway early in May to verify the Lord’s will for her to move here and serve Him with me. That week went by far too quickly. It was sweet and filled with many opportunities for her to serve the Lord and the community alongside me and be with the people I love.

She flew back to Dallas and I promptly ordered the ring.

With feverish joy, I waited on the ring to arrive. Until then, I planned secretly. My dream for months had been to propose to Haley on the front steps of her house on Hillwood Lane in Dallas, the place where I first saw those aquamarine eyes. In March, her landlord hit her with a bombshell: they were selling the house and Haley and her roommates needed to move by May 31st. That sped up my timeframe a bit. I made plans to go the fourth weekend in May to help Haley move across town (thank you, Lauren, for taking her in!). Meanwhile, the ring arrived. I opened it to find a stubborn smudge on the stone. After chatting with the helpful folks at Faithful Platform, they emailed me a return label for them to steam clean it. I began to feel the pressure. I became forgetful. I felt stressed. In a moment of desperation, I typed out a novel of a text to send to Haley’s twin sister, Holly, who was visiting their older sister, Heather, in Raleigh. I saw my Hillwood plan slipping away. My mentor always advised that I not send texts when I was tired, anxious, angry, etc. I heeded his wisdom and saved the text in the faithful “Notes” folder where I had kept the original message to send to Haley eight months earlier.

We had an outreach at our church the next day. I went early, dragging around, weighed down by the pressure. Then, by God’s grace, Holly texted me out of the blue offering their family’s assistance when the time for engagement came. I teared up and sent the long text of all my plans and desires. Over the next six days, miracles happened, one-by-one. The ring returned to me on time. Heather was able to sneakily fly out to Dallas unawares. My parents were able to get last minute flights to Dallas. My mama miraculously found her original birth certificate and successfully navigated the DMV to get her Real ID the day they flew. Haley’s roommates, Molly and Catherine, shifted into secret party planning mode to prepare the final celebration at Hillwood, a dream of Haley’s we wanted so badly to make happen. The Lord orchestrated it all.

On Friday evening, after an agonizing day of moving on the hottest day Dallas had experienced all year, moving 1,300-lbs of books, and waiting patiently for Haley to get ready for dinner, the moment arrived. Molly and Catherine staged the front of the house with flowers (thank you so much, Larry and Diane!) and a wreath—details I had overlooked. Holly and Heather hid behind Molly’s car across the street so Holly could photograph the moment. Molly charged the Ring doorbell camera and put it into place. And I had a few quiet moments with the Lord, asking Him to be glorified in our lives moving forward. I had a special notebook with some thoughts that I had wanted to give Haley for a long time. I walked outside and put it on the sidewalk. Then, I went back in to play the piano with shaky fingers as I waited. The sweet, familiar notes followed the melody Haley and I had sung together, words that defined the gift that she is to me:

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Great is Thy faithfulness!

Morning by morning new mercies I see:

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided—

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

I was standing and looking out the window when Haley finally emerged. I met those lovely aquamarine eyes and told her someone had dropped a package out front, not an uncommon event for her. She slowly made her way to the door and opened it. After a few seconds, she noticed the wreath and her sisters across the street. She turned to me and said, “Duncan! Are you going to propose to me on the steps of Hillwood?!” I said, “Well, come on and find out!” We walked to the notebook and she opened it. The rest was a blur. Overwhelmed by joy and the Texas sun, I squeaked out my question. She was still willing. I am overjoyed.

Haley and I didn’t expect this. In fact, she told me after our first date that she had lots of plans for if that date had been a flop, but she didn’t know what to do if it went well. I shared her sentiments. From the beginning, we have learned to lean into the grace of Jesus. He has taught us patience, endurance, and the sweet hope found only by trusting His sovereign kindness. Haley is my joy and crown, and such a precious proof of God’s ability to give “abundantly more” than I could ever ask or think. Marrying her is the privilege of a lifetime, and I am eager to see what God does with the lifetime He provides for us as we serve Him together.

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