Erika’s perspective:
Having grown up in a Christian/Hebrew Roots/Homeschooled family starting from the age of 14, I knew I wanted to be a wife and mother one day. I had the funniest thought that as soon as I turned 18 my husband would waltz in, we would start our life together, and it would be the perfect love story! As 18 came and went without a single prospect, I thought, “no worries, God has this all worked out and I just need to trust Him!” Once 21 rolled around and friends started to get married, my prayers got a bit more earnest, and still I trusted. “I’ve got plenty of time, I’m young…” I was told, time and time again, with kind intentions. Around 24, I started to wonder, “what if it’s just me that is not ready for the man God has for me?” And so, I focused on becoming the best version of myself with the Lord’s help, but started to worry that I might not be found. I woke up and I was 26, and I felt like an old maid. Now most of my friends were married with a few kids in, and I had never even had a guy interested in me. I started to question God’s plan and doubt started to creep in, but all the while I kept praying for God’s will to be done. I questioned if there was even such a thing as “true love” and surrendered it to God. The world was telling me that I should lower my standards, but I kept holding them steady. I couldn’t see how God could make a love story out of nothing, yet some small part of me still clung to hope and chose to believe that His plan was better than my plan. I had been encouraged throughout the years to make a list of qualities that I was looking for in a man, but I refused because I thought it was too cliché. Then I was encouraged yet again, but this time I understood it more as, not just a list to check-off, but rather as a list that, once fulfilled, would strengthen my faith - because it would show that the Lord hears the wants and desires of our hearts.
So, December 17th, 2023, I wrote a list with 37 impossible qualities (I thought “impossible” because what person could meet all 37?). I wrote the list and forgot about it, and basically told God it was His problem now to find and bring my husband because I was done looking! January rolled around, and I decided to get back on a Christian dating app (I had tried 2 other times but gave up almost as soon as I got on 😂). I got on a dating app because I figured there was no one in my community. I didn’t go out partying, and most young people moved away the first chance they got… and of the people that stayed, most of the “eligible” men didn’t have the spiritual maturity that I was looking for. I felt a tug and had the thought, “Just give it one more shot.” I got on a dating app, and the first few days were just the same as the last few times that I tried… match with a few people, have a lot of small talk, but nothing too interesting. I was about to delete the apps after about a week, but on Friday January 19th, I matched with this cowboy-looking guy named “Jake”. His profile looked decent, nothing too crazy, but I did get snagged on a word in his bio, and that was the reason I swiped on him (which means I was interested in his bio 😂). Then I got a message from Jacob on Saturday night that read, “Hey Erika! Shalom. Hope you had a restful Sabbath.” I was slightly taken off-guard, because you don’t have guys on a Christian dating app that have that type of vocabulary. For those that don’t know, I walk out my faith a bit differently than the average Christian. I believe that Jesus/Yeshua is the Messiah and that he is the Son of God, and that it is only through the Son that we can be saved. I also believe that Jesus did not come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it! But why do I tell you all this? Well because of those beliefs, my walk looks a little different. For example, I keep the Sabbath on Saturday, eat Biblically kosher, and celebrate the 7 Biblical feasts (basically 7 more holidays a year 😂). So, when Jacob reached out with the language that indicated similar beliefs, I was a bit shocked! We continued to talk…exchanged basic information, and throughout this time I was impressed by how open and honest this guy was, and my interest was piqued. We talked a bit more and started to realize that we had a lot of similarities in our beliefs and how to walk that out, but I thought to myself, “This guy is too good to be true, I’m probably missing something!”
On January 24th, he gave me his number, and then we had our first FaceTime call that lasted for about 4 hours! As we continued to talk about every day for the next month, I started to really like this guy, but I had never even met him in person! I discovered how thoughtful, kind, and incredible this guy is, and couldn’t get over the fact that he seemed to like talking to me as much as I liked talking to him! Throughout all of our conversations up to this point, it felt so normal and natural, like I was talking to my best friend, and I couldn’t wait to meet him! It finally worked out with our schedules (and the weather) for him to come and meet in person. When I met him for lunch, I thought to myself, “Ok, he’s even better looking in person!” The first weekend of meeting him in person was incredible, and I was impressed with how easy-going, kind and gentlemanly he was! During that weekend he talked with my parents and asked if he could date me with the intention of marriage! I felt like I was in a fairytale! I knew that I liked him, but to actually hear him ask to date me was crazy! Once I realized this guy meant business, our conversations started to become more focused on how to have a God-honoring relationship with each other, and what it could look like for us with the end goal of marriage. Now, at that point, I remembered my list that I had made in December, and I decided to take a look at how this cowboy was ranking. Surprisingly (no surprises with God!), he checked off all the boxes on that list and so many more that I didn’t even think to add! I was blown away yet again with the goodness of the Lord, and how He not only answered my prayers, but brought a man into my life that was even more than I even hoped to ask for! We then planned a road trip to Oklahoma to meet his family. It was one of the best trips, and I was on cloud 9 the whole time. So many incredible memories were made, and I loved meeting his family! On the trip back to Colorado, we talked about what some of the next steps were in our relationship. Jacob told me that he was going to propose at some point before the end of August, and “not to worry… he’s got it all planned out” and hoped that I would say yes! 😂 (I assured him that I would). I then got back to normal life, with the promise in my heart that he would propose at some point soon. On Friday, April 12th, I went out to my family’s ranch, completely unaware and unsuspecting that my life was about to change that day! Jacob surprised me by proposing in the Red Barn! I was utterly in shock as I walked up the flower petal-laden stairs leading up to the loft of the barn. There Jacob was, dressed in a suit surrounded by flower petals and candles, and then he asked me to marry him… and as he later told me (because apparently my brain was on overload I guess), that I didn’t say “Yes” (as I thought I did), but rather, “ABSOLUTELY!” I am amazed that such an incredible, thoughtful, insanely attractive, God-fearing man would choose me, and I chose him back! All those years of waiting, hoping, crying, doubting, praying, and believing were all worth it! I am so excited to marry my best friend and my favorite person and build a family with this man and enjoy every minute of it! And for those of you who know me, you know what a big deal that is! God truly writes the best love stories! Hope you enjoyed seeing a glimpse of the incredible things that God is doing in our lives, and you were blessed as you read! Hope to see you all in September!
The full account and all the details are written in the Book Records & Archives of Erika V. Del Rio (soon to be Frantz!) 😂
Jacob’s perspective:
“Who does find a capable wife? For she is worth far more than rubies.” – Proverbs 31:10
I've been on a lot of first dates in the last ten years or so, but usually discovered fairly quickly that it wouldn't be going anywhere. Nothing against the ladies I've dated, we just weren't right for each other for various reasons. Typically, I would ask a gal out on a date, hold doors open, pay for the meal, etc...you know, that being a gentleman stuff. I fully embrace trying my best to be a traditional God fearing American man who values women and was raised to treat them with respect like my mother and sisters. Usually, the conversation was good, but values or direction in life just wouldn't line up. I did my best to be open and honest about that and let them know I wasn't interested in pursuing anything, but in a kindhearted way. The convictions that I hold are very strong, and I'm not changing them or pretending they aren't there just to go on a few dates so we can head butt each other over issues later down the road and inevitably fight or break up - and I certainly don't expect anyone to change their values for me. Nor do I want them to. Some took it better than others, but rejection hurts no matter what. On goes the hunt for a godly woman who wants to raise a quiver of critically thinking children on a rural homestead, not because she has to, but because she views that as the highest possible calling in life, and wants to raise a family that values obedience to God, freedom, individual responsibility, classical education, and resilience in the face of societal pressures.
I knew she was out there...somewhere. But, where? I've worked in approximately 42 out of the 50 states, and lived overseas. From being a soldier, an EMT, a firefighter, a rescue technician in the oil field, and most recently a law enforcement officer, I've met a lot of people while at work. I've travelled a LOT. I've also done what I can to attend a local church over the years and been fairly involved in other local communities. I've met a lot of women, and I've been purposeful and intentional in talking to them...just hadn't found the right one. Yet. But that was ok, because the way I saw it, it was my responsibility as a man to focus on improving myself and building a solid life. It was on me to hunt for a wife, to search for her and look for her. And it was a search. Society has been consistently degrading over the decades, and perhaps even faster in the last few years. Were there any good ones left, or had everyone given up on ethics and values in lieu of following the crowd? I was resolute though, and even answered a close friend when he asked me what I would do if I couldn't find somebody who measured up to my "absurd" standards. I confidently told him I'd embrace being like Paul if I had to...Better to be single than share a life with someone who isn't running the same race.
I had been involved in a head on crash with a drunk driver while on duty in 2023 and was still off work focusing on physical therapy and other medical appointments to heal from the injuries my body had sustained. It was slow going, and not easy by any means. However, it provided me the space in life to slow down, breathe, and invest a lot of time in my relationship with the one true God. During this time, I figured I may as well keep searching for a godly woman. I hopped onto a Christian dating app again and started getting a decent amount of gals "matching" with me. I would read their profile and pass on them. None of them were what I was looking for, at all. Not even close. Didn't even message them.
Then I saw her. She was this incredibly beautiful Latina gal, who had a gorgeous beaming smile and lovely shining eyes. She presented herself modestly in her photos, but still cute and stylish. She looked spunky and quirky. There were no wasted words of her random zodiac sign or whatever her favorite Disney princess was. Her descriptions were articulate, intentional, wholesome, and full of joy. This one's different, I thought to myself. But it was the Sabbath when the notification came through on my phone and I saw her profile. The Spirit reminded me to focus on the things of God for the remainder of that evening and the next day, so I continued my Bible study, sang some worship songs in my living room, prayed to my Father, and then messaged Erika the next day.
She struck me as a delightful person. She was engaged in our conversation, was witty, intelligent, and fun. Something seemed different with her. Better. I decided I should try and scare her off, so I typed up a summary of who I was, what I believed, what my worldview was, etc. And then I sent it. To be fair, it was a bit of a book, so I didn't expect to hear back anytime soon. She responded and surprisingly didn't disagree with anything I said. Ugh, I thought. She must be one of those pushovers who is afraid of any type of conflict and doesn't want to risk offending me. Nope, she genuinely agreed with everything I had said, and seemed surprised that I had been as open and honest about everything as I was. Alright! This may be going somewhere. I began to get excited, and we continued chatting for a bit on the app. Then I gave her my number. No pressure, I said, but if you want to text me that would be great.
She did. Then I asked if she'd like to FaceTime. At this point I was starting to wonder if this "Erika" person was even real...This has got to be some cruel, elaborate prank. I have some friends that have a pretty twisted sense of humor, and I wouldn't put something like this past them. Nope, she was real. At least she looked real...I doubted AI was that good yet. So, we facetimed. She was beautiful, and well spoken, and funny, and present. It was great. We talked for hours. Then we talked again the next day, and the next...and the next. Finally, the Rocky Mountains got some decent weather, and I was able to drive down to Colorado to meet this charming woman in person. It was about a 5-hour drive from Wyoming. Because of the recent injuries, my back was on fire after being in the car that long, and my migraine was screaming, but I had a sense that meeting her would be worth it all in the end. Boy was it.
I got to the restaurant first and waited for her, quite hopefully. Then she walked through the door. Wow. She was even more stunning in person than in her photos or on facetime. What an incredibly gorgeous gal. I tell her as often as I can that when the Creator designed her, he sprinkled a few extra servings of beauty into the recipe. We sat down at the table and had a wonderful visit. She was an absolute joy to be around. She laughed at my corny jokes, seemed to be comfortable around me, and seemed to appreciate my traditional approach to life. She was confident in herself and knew she was a high value person. There was a strength behind her eyes, yet she was incredibly humble and kind. After lunch, I followed her to her folk’s place and got to meet her family. They were awesome! Loud, exuberant, extroverted, and silly - but awesome! Their home was filled with the peace of God, and they were all so incredibly kind and sincere. Everyone was engaged in the conversations and seemed happy to be there. Nobody was off on their cell phones or doing their own thing. It was obvious they were excited to meet whoever Erika had brought home, and I was glad to be there.
This is quickly turning into a novel, and I have a knack for continuing to write once I get started...so I'll try to wrap this up. Long story long, I asked Erika if she would like to be my girlfriend, and she excitedly agreed. I spoke with her parents and was very upfront about my intentions with their daughter. I was dating with the intention of finding a wife. If it works out, great! If not, I want to leave her better than I found her, with a positive experience and no baggage. My primary goal was to honor God and their family. They seemed to appreciate the directness. We continued talking nearly every day, often for hours on end. Then we made a visit to Oklahoma so she could meet my family. They welcomed her with open arms, and she fit right in. I told her I loved her and meant it with every fiber of my being. I knew I loved her when I realized that I didn't want a life without her by my side, and because I sincerely desired the best for her. She was quickly becoming my dearest friend.
A short time later, I surprised Erika by proposing to her in her parents’ big red barn. It was a beautiful moment. We went on a walk around the property, had a picnic, and then celebrated with her family. She didn't say yes, she said ABSOLUTELY! It was the happiest day of my life. I chose her out of the entire crowd, and I'm truly honored that she chose me back. We're going to have a lovely life together filled with joy, hard work, sadness, celebrations, worship, crying, laughing, striving, and loving. It will be so, so good, and there's no one I'd rather do life with than her.
There's so much more depth and detail I could go into, but that'll do for now. Thanks for reading our story and we hope to see you at our wedding in September. Shalom!