I first noticed her at a young adults event at church and she certainly caught my eye. I was drawn towards her friendly tone and kind smile, but couldn't seem to make my way towards her mostly because she was moving away (whether that be to talk to other people or to get away from me, I'm not sure. Maybe it was both.). I finally got my chance to talk with her for a few minutes at a volleyball night and decided to ask her out the next week. Unfortunately, I was met with a no.

Yet, I thought that I still had a shot. I could still get to know her better, and she could have the opportunity to know me better too (she really didn't have any interest in getting to know me at that point, but oh well). I waited for around 3 months to ask her out again, and to my surprise she said yes and that she had also been thinking about asking me out. We went on 3 dates over the next couple weeks and decided to give it a go.

After 4 months of dating, I proposed. I had gotten the perfect ring and the weather was just right. What neither of us really expected is that about a month or two after that we decided to step back from engagement. It was a terrible day when we made that decision, but we knew we weren't ready. We realized that we rushed into getting engaged but didn't want to break up. We decided to go back to dating for the time being while also attending pre-engagement counseling to work out some of the issues we were facing. We learned a lot about each other during this season and there were some tough days. But as we committed to getting to know each other better, we found that the joy returned to our relationship and we were more relaxed and assured when we were together. So about 7 months later, during a snowy January morning, I asked if we could meet at the Churchville Nature Center to go on a morning walk together. No one was there and we got to walk through the forest in the silence, just the two of us. Once we arrived at a part of the trail where could overlook the lake, I got on one knee (she was taking a video of the lake so she had no idea) and asked if she would trust me to love and care for her for the rest of our lives.

The first time I ever saw James Snider I had no idea it was him.

I remember driving to Cairn for something for volleyball and seeing a landscaping truck and trailer on the right side of Maple Ave heading up the big hill into Langhorne. A good looking, very tan, and clearly very hardworking guy holding a weed wacker walking around the side of the trailer caught my eye and I remember thinking "wow, that guy was attractive" and on with my day I went.

A few weeks later, unbeknownst to either of us, this same guy would show up at a young adults volleyball night at Davisville church wearing a black "Cairn Highlanders" shirt. To be honest, I don't remember seeing him come in or where he came from. All of a sudden he was just there, kindly and patiently waiting to say hello to me. A few of our mutual friends expressed their enthusiasm for me to meet him because he completed the counseling program at Cairn, the same program they knew I was in the very thick of at the time, and felt sure that he could resonate with my experiences. I enjoyed talking to him so much that I willingly gave up my turn to rotate into the game to continue talking with him on the sideline. Looking back we've been able to pinpoint numerous moments where we were in the same place at the same time and had no idea how intertwined our lives would soon become. Interesting isn’t it, how you can look back over the course of time and not even realize how precious these seemingly mundane moments are in the very process of becoming.

A few more weeks later, this same guy showed up to the same Wednesday night life group that I was also attending at church. I can't remember the timeline between when he started coming to life group and when he asked me out the first time, but I do remember feeling conflicted when he first asked. I was both flattered that someone who barely knew me wanted to ask to take me on a date, to my face, in person, while at the same time feeling "not interested" in him as well as looking down the barrel of the beginning of my second preseason as an assistant volleyball coach at Cairn and a busy fall semester. I remember telling him "I'm not saying yes, and I'm not saying no, but my gut reaction is that I just don't know you." and told him I would get back to him in a few weeks with an answer. I decided to give him a call on my way home from volleyball practice one evening to let him know my answer was “no”, because he deserved to have an answer and not be left to wonder. Funny how that ended up turning out as I type this on our wedding website - but I’m getting ahead of myself in my part of the story 🙂

James continued to come to Bible Study/Life Group on Wednesday evenings, and I would run into him here and there around Cairn’s MAC, and he would come watch volleyball games with the life group or some of his friends from time to time during the season. As I reflect back on that season of our journey, it was the same gentle patience, steady kindness, and genuine authenticity with which James pursued me in our friendship and into dating that I have learned to call my home and my softest and most loving place to land over some of the most challenging and most beautiful days I have known. Once again, getting ahead of myself here.

Anyways, I noticed him showing up week after week, investing in the lives of the people in our group, asking thought provoking questions, genuinely caring about other people’s experiences as well as demonstrating such a genuine love for Jesus that drew me to him. I still remember talking about the woman at the well in John 4 in life group and James’s words about how Jesus kept redirecting her back to her place of deepest shame so he could plant himself there for her healing and transformation, not her condemnation. At the time, I was working on the very interesting yet very intimidating group therapy project that consumes much of the second year of the counseling program. Breaking large projects into manageable parts and completing tasks along the way on schedule has never been my forte, and I just so happened to be working on a similar theme in my project that we were discussing in life group that evening, featuring the Samaritan woman at the well and her interaction with Jesus (I LOVE this scene from the Chosen’s portrayal of the interaction - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ordhsDeAt60).

Since James had already completed the Counseling program at Cairn, he had frequently checked in on me (in the few times I would let him get close enough to talk to me after life group) to see how I was coming along in the program.

One night after life group, I remember he asked me how the project was going and I don’t remember what I said but I do remember it was very long winded and very exasperated and I realized I had just word vomited all over this poor guy in the parking lot for - what seemed to me - like an astronomical amount of time. What I do remember is the unassuming and kind intent with which he listened to me that night. James opened up his car door, reached inside, and handed me a party popper to place on my desk and look at until I completed the project, and at that point I could pop the party popper in celebration. I remember that night because of his gentle, genuine, and kind patience, coupled with his quickness to celebrate the everyday things in life by keeping a stash of party poppers in his car for moments like these. James helped me with the project, and proofread and offered feedback on all 60 something pages of it (which crazy as it sounds was less than what it was supposed to be!) and I began to realize slowly over a few months “wow I think this guy really cares about me … uh wait … do I like him?!?!?”

I had decided that I was in fact interested in getting to know this James Snider a bit more, as so many of the qualities that piqued my curiosity about him were so reflective of what I knew of Jesus’ heart. I decided I wouldn’t avoid him after life group anymore, and one night after life group, James had the courage to ask me on a date again in the same parking lot of the same church that I had turned him down in a few months prior. I was actually going to ask him to coffee to get to know each other more, but he beat me to it, which I shared with him moments after joyfully accepting. After a few more weeks full of stressful late nights of working on the project, a trip to Massachusetts for Thanksgiving, a planned first date that I was excited for but ended up getting sick and having to cancel, we were finally able to go on our first date to the Steel Penny Cafe. Time flew by as I enjoyed an oatmilk rose latte and James’ company, learning more and more about the person who I almost missed out on knowing at all.

Love certainly isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and our story isn’t the fairy tale that little girls dream of and read about in books. We’ve had our fair share of hard days and hard moments, and I’m sure there will be more to come. However, what I have learned is that loving James has been and will continue to be worth every difficult moment, day, or season we walk through. James has taught me more about honesty, vulnerability, patience, and waiting through his own story and actions than I ever could have anticipated the night I first met him.

As you can tell by the differences in my account and James’ account of “our story”, brevity is not my greatest shining quality. If you’ve made it this far in the webpage, thank you. Thank you for investing in us as individuals and as a couple, for praying for us, for supporting us, and for pointing us back towards Jesus. We wouldn’t be here today without your investment in our lives, and it would be pretty pointless to have a wedding website if there weren’t loved ones to read what we wrote on here. We love you, and are so excited to celebrate what God has done, is doing, and will continue to do in our relationship with you all! Bring your party poppers, there is much to celebrate!! 😀