According to string theory (which we only kind of understand), the universe is made up of tiny vibrating strings, all constantly interacting in ways that are mostly invisible but somehow still responsible for everything. Love, allegedly, works the same way.

We met because of a bizarre series of events that shouldn't have lined up, but did anyway. Different paths, different timelines, different versions of ourselves--all vibrating around the universe until somehow the strings crossed. Coincidence? Fate? A glitch in the matrix? Hard to say. Physics is unclear on this part.

What we do know is that once those strings tangled, things escalated quickly. One conversation turned into many. One hangout turned into a habit. Suddenly we were building a life, collecting stories, surviving chaos and realizing that whatever force brought us together wasn't letting us go.

String theory says everything is connected at the smallest level. We like to think that means this, two weird people, pulled together by invisible forces, choosing every day to keep vibrating on the same wavelength.

So here we are. Still confused. Still laughing. Still deeply in love. And officially committing to this particular timeline.

Thanks for being a part of it.

Sacramento International Airport (SMF) - 2.5 hours from the venue. A solid choice if you enjoy predictable driving, relatively sane traffic and the faint hope of arriving without screaming into your GPS.

San Francisco International Airport (SFO) - 2 hours 45 minutes....But let's be real: traffic will try to kill your vibe. Plan accordingly, pack snacks and maybe bringa stress ball. This route is for thrill-seekers, people who like to gamble or anyone who thinks they are a Bay Area commuting ninja.

Pro Tip: If you want less "road rage" and more "I survived THE BIG CHAOS," SMF is your safest bet. SFO is your "epic story to tell at brunch later."

The venue is just 2 miles off highway 20...but don't let the short distance fool you. Those 2 miles are dirt, include a steady uphill climb and finish with a steep downhill drop at the gate.

Unless you are camping, you will park in the designated parking area and take the shuttle to the venue. This is not a suggestion--it's us protecting your vehicle, your nerves, the wedding timeline and the driveway.

Fear not! You will not be stuck. The shuttle is available whenever you choose to leave, with service running until 10pm. No waiting, no being stranded, no awkward Irish goodbye required (as long as it's before 10pm).

Dirt Road Donations -The parking attendant and shuttle driver will happily accept tips, which will go directly to the honeymoon fund. In other words, you can feel virtuous while bribing someone to prevent your car from becoming part of the dirt road landscape.

Want to sleep at the reception? Good Luck! We've got a very limited number of dry camping spots for the truly adventurous. Bring a tent, a sleeping bag, snacks and a sense of humor. Bragging rights are mandatory. Complaints about dirt, bugs or regrettable life choices will be ignored.

Need a tent? No problem? Just let us know. We'll have a few extra tents available to rent for a small fee - all money goes straight to the honeymoon fund. So not only do you get a roof over your head, you also help fund our romantic escape. It's basically charity with perks and a chance to brag that you survived the night.

Completely Unnecessary, Possibly Enforceable Tent Rental & Survival Agreement

By participating in camping or renting a tent, you agree to the following:

1. Self-Reliance: You alone are responsible for your survival, comfort, sanity and emotional stability while on the premises.

2. Earplug Disclaimer: Earplugs are recommended but not provided. Crying babies, snoring friends and aggressive lawn games are your problem.

3. First come, First Survived: Spots and tents are strictly limited. RSVP for a spot or embrace regret.

4. Wildlife Clause: The couple assumes zero responsibility for raccoon interactions, unexpected deer or romantic entanglements with neighbors.

5. Tent Karma: Renting a tent does not guarantee good dreams, only good karma toward the honeymoon fund.

6. Behavioral Waiver: By camping, you waive all rights to complain about mud, grass stains, mild dehydration, over-enthusiastic flip cup players or any other minor inconveniences.

7. Bragging Requirement: Successful survival grants permanent bragging rights, which may be enforced at future friends weddings, reunions or family gatherings.

8. Clause Survival: This agreement survives THE BIG CHAOS, the honeymoon and any future attempts to sell your story to a reality TV network.

Optional Bonus:

Tent rental + survival = instant VIP membership in the Exclusive BIG CHAOS Camping Club. Membership benefits include smug satisfaction, moral superiority and lifelong memories of sleeping outside at someone else's wedding.

Welcome to the official arena of questionable athleticism and excessive bragging rights. Here's what's waiting for you:

Cornhole - Toss beanbags with the grace of a swan...or the accuracy of a drunk racoon.

Washers - Tiny metal discs, big egos.

Horseshoes - Aim carefully, or aim creatively. The fence is judgment-free.

Lawn Tetris - Yes, it's a thing. Lose spectacularly. Win occasionally.

Flip Cup - Hydration + humiliation = guaranteed entertainment.

50/50 Raffle

Half goes to the honeymoon fund half goes to the winner (who may now be insufferably wealthy and your new mortal enemy). Buy tickets. Cheat if you must. Brag louder than legally allowed.

Feral Footnotes & Legal-ish Disclaimers

1. We, the couple you all are here for, is not responsible for bruised egos, beanbag-related injuries or catastrophic lawn misplacements.

2. Referees may or may not exist. Their rulings are final and also arbitrary.

3. Trash talk is mandatory. Sportsmanship is optional.

4. Flip cup failures are life lessons, not mistakes.

5. Winning does not guarantee happiness but will absolutely guarantee bragging rights.

6. By playing, you waive all rights to complain, sulk or blame gravity.

Optional Bonus Clause (Completely Unnecessary)

By participating in any activity, you agree to indemnify the newlyweds against all injuries, shame or embarrassment caused by competitive behavior, excessive enthusiasm or overconfidence in flip cup skills. Yes, this includes laughing at yourself or others. This clause survives the wedding, the honeymoon and any subsequent games of lawn tetris.

THE GRAZING TABLE (pre-ceremony / damage control unit)

Eat now. This is not a suggestion. Before the vows, please report directly to the grazing table - a chaotic but loving spread of cheeses meats, breads, fruit and assorted snack nonsense designed to keep everyone upright, quiet and emotionally regulated.

Footnotes:

1. Failure to graze may result in hanger, impatience or loudly asking "is this starting soon?"

2. This is "light snacking" in name only.

3. Sharing is optional. Hovering is expected.

4. The couple assumes zero responsibility for cheese-induced happiness.

LET'S EAT (reception / point of no return)

We're married and you survived the ceremony. CONGRATULATIONS! Food will now be released. Enjoy smoked tri tip, pulled pork, baked beans, coleslaw, pasta salad, fresh bread and Caesar salad. Seconds encouraged. Self-control discouraged.

Footnotes:

1. Thirds will be silently respected and never spoken of again.

2. Sauce stains are formalwear now.

3. Pants may become tighter. This is between you and your choices.

4. Complaints about portion sizes will be emotionally noted and immediately ignored.

ADDITIONAL DISCLAIMERS (please pretend you read these)

1. Calories consumed today do not count. This is wedding law

2. Food comas may lead to overconfidence on the dance floor. The couple is not liable.

3. Loudly declaring this is "THE BEST WEDDING EVER" is legally protected speech.

4. The couple is not responsible for friendships formed in the buffet line.

5. No leftovers. No refunds. No regrets

We adore animals. We have animals. However, The Big Chaos is still a no-pets event. If you're wondering whether your dog is the exception......they're not.