Step 1: Welcome

The arrival of the groom's family signals the start of the ceremony, they are required to be on time and can be sent back or fined for being late. Once inside, they are introduced by their Alaga and proceed to kneel and greet the bride's family.

Step 2: The Proposal and Acceptance

This elaborate proposal 'letter' is presented by the groom's family and read out loud by the youngest member of the bride's family. After which an acceptance letter is given by the bride's family.

Step 3: Meet the Groom

The groom typically makes his appearance by dancing in with his friends then proceeds to prostrate two times with his friends and once alone to his new in-laws. During the third prostration, both families stretch out their arms and pray for the groom. He then prostrates once with his friends for his family before proceeding to his seat.

Step 4: Meet the Bride

The veiled bride makes her appearance escorted by her friends who dance her in. She kneels in front of her parents for their prayers and blessings, then does the same with her future husband's parents after which she is unveiled and joins her future husband. Though not compulsory, some brides put the groom's hat (fila) on his head, this demonstrates her acceptance of the proposal.

Step 5: Bling Please

On instruction from the Alaga Ijoko she picks the gift she wants from the usually dazzling selection brought by her in-laws (a list with the required items would have been given prior to the engagement). She is expected to pick the Bible to which her engagement ring is attached. She gives her selection to her husband who puts the ring on her finger and watches happily as she shows off her ring to the world.

Step 6: Bride Price

Various envelopes containing everything from the bride price to money for the wives, children and elders in the her family are handed over to the bride's family. It is very common practice for them to the envelope containing the bride price, the belief is that both families have become one and are giving their daughter away versus 'selling' her.

Step 7: Cut the Cake

The engagement cake also known as 'Akara Oyinbo' is a symbol of happiness due to its rich and sweet ingredients. The more recently introduced cake cutting ceremony is usually for photo opportunities.

Step 8: Party Party Party

Final prayers are said and the occasion is ended with lots of love, eating, music and dancing!

J&E